We know that outside of the accounting world, tax season isn't famous for its humor.
But maybe we should be giving accountants a bit more credit, show some interest in their work and stop them feeling under-depreciated. Taxes, it turns out, can be pretty funny after all!
For that reason, we have put together a definitive list of all the accounting jokes and puns that could be used to make your tax friends and loved ones laugh. These jokes for accountants make a great message in or on the front of a greetings card. So, if you know someone studying for their CPA exam or going into the taxes busy season, then a joke or pun may be the perfect thing they need to help them blow off some steam. Alternatively, if one of your office colleagues in your accounting business is leaving, then these finance and accountants jokes are the perfect one liners to make them feel appreciated.
If you are looking for some puns for the whole family and think that jokes about accountants may go over your kids heads, then we've got you covered. Why not check out our book puns for your little bookworms, or for the budding biologists out there, we've got 30+ cell-arious biology puns to tickle your sense of humor.
Best Accountant Puns
An accountant is someone who looks after the financial records of a business. We have put together asset of the finest accounting puns to be shared with all your CPA countempories in the office, enjoy!
1. When an accountant is under pressure they ask their boss to cut them sum slack.
2. When an accountant boards the train they are always careful to mind the GAAP.
3. What do accountants say when they are leaving? Calc-u-later.
4. What is every accountant searching for ultimately? The meaning of LIFO.
5. What did the overworked accountant say to the other accountant? I feel so under depreciated.
6. Accountants tend to mature very quickly because they know how to act their wage.
7. Where there's a will, there's a tax shelter.
8. How does Santa Claus's tax accountant value his sleigh? Net Present Value.
9. Why does Santa like visiting the UK? He can claim gift relief.
10. Why do accountant sheepdogs bring back more sheep than the farmer started with? Because they are asked to round them up.
11. What do accountants love to receive as gifts? Asset of glasses.
12. Skunks don't have to pay taxes because they only have one scent.
13. Every single person in the accounting department counts.
14. Where do accountants like to eat their lunch? In the counteen.
15. If it's raining really hard you can be sure to find your accountant hiding under the tax shelter.
16. What is the slogan for being an accountant? Be audit you can be.
17. What is an accountant's favorite animal? Tax manian devil.
18. What did the accounting CPA get up to as a child? He used to account ants of course.
19. Why didn't the accountant respond when her husband tried to wake her up? Because she was out for the account.
20. I was so surprised when an accountant came to my soirée and didn't have much to say. I had heard they are the LIFO soul of the party.
21. Accountants can be quite hard to read. I find it very difficult to judge their accrual intentions.
22. What does a CPA say when someone suggests they buy assets in a failing business? Account me out.
23. After maths, the accountant's favorite class in high school was fiscal education.
24. What's an accountant's favorite clothing store? GAP of course.
25. It's not a coincidence that the four parts of the CPA exam spell out B-A-R-F.
26. When an accountant is facing a huge issue they say they have a mammath problem on their plate.
27. What do you call two accounting peers in the same firm? Countempories.
28. Why did the accountant ask his colleague to sit further away from him? Because it was an equation of personal space.
29. Why did the accountant get fired for calculating the accounting tax wrong? Because his boss wanted to make an exsumple of him.
30. What's an accountant's favorite craze? A digit spinner.
31. Why did the accountant start mumbling numbers under her breath? Because she was on a percent into madness.
32. Why did the jam business fail? Because the finances were spread too thin.
33. The reason I stopped making puns is the same reason one of my clients stopped putting money into their savings account: lack of interest.
34. What did the accountant say to his client when the client complained about the tax return? Sorry, but that's as good as it nets.
35. Where do accountants want to go when they die? To haven.
36. Where there's a will, there's inheritance tax.
Funny Accounting Jokes
When life makes you an accountant, all you can do is laugh. With these bookkeeping jokes to share around the office you'll be the LIFO soul of the business.
37. A man was told by a doctor that he only had six months to live. The doctor advised him to marry an accountant. "Why?" he asked, "Will it make me live longer?" The doctor replied: "No, but it will make those six months seem much longer."
38. There are two key rules for building your successful accounting business: 1) Don't tell them everything you know 2) [Redacted]
39. Why did the accountant get fired? Because a client asked them to check their balance and he pushed them over.
40. Every good tax accountant is aiming to leave a legacy: to have a loophole named after them.
41. What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.
42. Why does an accountant enjoy the weekend so much? Because they can wear their own clothes to work.
43. Why doesn't Santa have his own accountant? Because he is elf employed.
44. Why did an accountant cross the road? Because he looked at the records and that'd just what they did last year.
45. Why does Dior need accountants? Because they have so many scents.
46. Why are accountants so quick at reading novels? Because the only numbers in them are the page numbers at the bottom.
47. You know you are an accountant when... You can easily find the balance (even at Yoga classes)!
48. An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor. “Doctor, I am struggling to sleep at night.” “Have you tried counting sheep?”, the doctor replies. “That’s the issue — I make a mistake and then spend three hours trying to find it.”
49. What does CPA stand for? Can't Pass Again.
50. Why are accountants always so calm, composed, and methodical? They have strong internal controls.
51. What do you call an accountant with an opinion? An auditor.
52. Atheist organisations don’t have to pay tax as they are not-for-prophet organisations.
53. How did the accountant die? He lost his balance.
54. Why should you never audit your accounts while standing on an anthill? Because you may finance in your pants.
55. Why do accountants make good philosophers? Because they are always occupying themselves with meta-fiscal questions.
56. How can you tell if an accountant is very good at managing their own finance? If even their own bank says their balance is outstanding.
57. Which superhero pays no income tax? Spiderman - his income is all net.
58. Why do accountants need such big libraries? Because they have so many books to keep.
Here at Kidadl we've got the best puns and jokes for all occasions. If you enjoyed these accountant jokes then why not check out our 30 time puns that are hilariously funny, or for something different take a peek at these 49 pineapple puns that are super sweet.
Younger sister and older cousin to three under-tens, Persis loves learning new games to play. Having lived in London since the age of eleven, she is always exploring new areas of the city on her bike, visiting different parks and cafes. When not whizzing around London she will undoubtedly be travelling to new corners of the world, lino cutting kit in tow.