25 Best Andy Bernard Quotes From The Office

Andy Bernard's quotes are what you need after a gloomy day at work.
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Andy Bernard is one of the many eccentric characters in the popular sitcom TV series called 'The Office'.

Actor Ed Helms portrays the role of Andrew Baines Bernard or Andy Bernard. At the Dunder Mifflin Stamford branch, a former salesman, Andy Bernard, is transferred to Dunder Mifflin Scranton during 'The Merger.'

Andy Bernard makes his first appearance in episode one of season three, where he is seen kicking a wastebasket angrily because someone put his calculator in Jell-O, which has given us many funny quotes from 'The Office'. He gives weird nicknames to his colleagues like calling Jim "Big Tuna" and nicknaming himself "The Nard Dog", probably just to establish camaraderie with his co-workers at Dunder Mifflin. He keeps boasting about his Cornell degree and lavish childhood and the wacky Andy Bernard catchphrase "Roo doot doot doo doo!", which makes him comes across as another bizarre personality like Michael Scott. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." is what Andy says at the end of the office. Read on to find more of the best quotes from 'The Office'. If you like this article, why not check out our articles for [Dwight Schrute quotes] and 'The Office' Christmas quotes.

Funny Andy Bernard Quotes

Every 'The Office' fan will love Andy Bernard's funny quotes.

If you think Michael Scott and Dwight Schrute are the only oddballs at the Dunder Mifflin office, wait till you read these hilarious Andy Bernard quotes!

1. "A word of advice, speaking as a former baby. Don't get too hung up on baby names."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 6, Episode 17, 'The Delivery Part 1,' 2009.

2. "Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them because they are unfair."

-'The Office,' Season 5, Episode 1, 'Weight Loss Part 1,' 2008.

3. "I get super flexible when I'm nervous."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 7, Episode 14, 'The Seminar,' 2010.

4. "You are a critical part of this seminar. You're the charming warm-up guy. If the seminar was a meal, you'd be the amuse-bouche."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 7, Episode 14, 'The Seminar,' 2010.

5. "You should be an English professor at Cor-not University."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 3, Episode 8, 'The Merger,' 2006.

6. "I'm always thinking one step ahead, like a...carpenter...that makes stairs."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 3, Episode 8, 'The Merger,' 2006.

7. "I've been trying to act and manage this branch. Half the time I don't know if I'm wearing my stage makeup or my work makeup."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 9, Episode 22, 'Livin' The Dream Part 1,' 2012.

8. "If you donated my computer to Africa, it would become famous as the slowest computer in Africa."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 7, Episode 18, 'Todd Packer,' 2010.

9. "I'm a terrible salesman, and I haven't been making very many sales lately...or ever. This is my only idea on how to turn things around. If it goes badly, I might lose my job, which would suck, because this is the only job I've ever been good at."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 7, Episode 14, 'The Seminar,' 2010.

10. "Oh, speaking of time machines, I just got back from the future, and I went to your funeral and guess what? Nobody came."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 3, Episode 8, 'The Merger,' 2006.

11. "Women cannot resist a man singing show tunes. It's so powerful, even a lot of men can't resist a man singing show tunes."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 7, Episode 3, 'Andy's Play,' 2010.

The Best Of Andy Bernard Quotes

Andy Bernard at Dunder Mifflin Paper Company made the show more enjoyable.

Here are some of the best Andy' The Office' quotes, including the Andy Bernard quote from the finale.

12. "I guess I don't have what it takes to be a film critic. I could be a food critic...these muffins taste bad. Or maybe an art critic...that painting is...bad."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 5, Episode 15, 'Stress Relief Part 2,' 2008.

13. "In high school, I organized a walk out over standardized testing. Got over 500 students to just skip the SATs. At the last second I chickened out, took it anyway got a 1220."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 6, Episode 11, 'Shareholder Meeting,' 2009.

14. "Erin and I have our first date tonight. And it has to be perfect. Why? Because according to 'How I Met Your Mother', that's the date that your kids are going to wait patiently to hear about and you'd better have a good story to tell them."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 6, Episode 19, 'St. Patrick's Day,' 2009.

15. "Every little boy fantasizes about his fairytale wedding."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 5, Episode 1, 'Weight Loss Part 1,' 2008.

16. "I don't have kids or anything, but if my grandmother ever dies I'm going to kill myself."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 7, Episode 11, 'Classy Christmas Part 1,' 2010.

17. "Hey Andy, you're making the worst mistake of your life. You're not talented. Well...right back at ya Darryl."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 9, Episode 22, 'Livin' The Dream Part 1,' 2012.

18. "The male is a funny species. We don't just tell each other how we feel."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 9, Episode 22, 'Livin' The Dream Part 1,' 2012.

19. "I graduated in four years, I never studied once, I was drunk the whole time, and I sang in the a capella group "Here Comes Treble."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 3, Episode 1, 'Gay Witch Hunt,' 2006.

20. "I went to Cornell. You ever heard of it?"

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 3, Episode 1, 'Gay Witch Hunt,' 2006.

21. "Steer clear, Big Tuna. Head for open waters."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 3, Episode 1, 'Gay Witch Hunt,' 2006.

22. "Good luck over there, Tuna. Cross me, and I will destroy you."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 3, Episode 8, 'The Merger,' 2006.

23. "I'll be the number two guy here in Scranton in six weeks. How? Name repetition, personality mirroring, and never breaking off a handshake."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 3, Episode 8, 'The Merger,' 2006.

24. "I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 9, Episode 27, 'Finale Part 2,' 2012.

25. "The weird thing is now I'm exactly where I want to be. I've got my dream job at Cornell, and I'm still just thinking about my old pals."

-Andy Bernard, 'The Office,' Season 9, Episode 27, 'Finale Part 2,' 2012.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 25 Andy Bernard quotes then why not take a look at ['The office birthday quotes], or ['The Office' love quotes].

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