47 Best Avocado Jokes For Your Avo-kiddos

Young girl messing around holding avocado halves in front of her eyes.

Image © vaaseenaa under a creative commons licence.

You'll never hit guac bottom in the humour stakes with Kidadl's pear-fctly punny lists of jokes and puns.

If you love to laugh, then you'll avo whole load of good fun with this full crop of avocado puns and jokes that are ripe for the picking.  After all, why have one avocado joke when you can spread it on a little thicker?

Funny avocados with googly eyes on them.
Image © SEE D JAN under a creative commons licence.

Funny Avocado Puns And One-Liners

Prove that avocado jokes don't have to be the pits, with these witty one liners and avocado puns.

1.Got myself into a sticky situation with an avocado; I was stuck between a guac and a hard place.

2.I got a promotion in my job at the avocado farm. It was a move in the ripe direction.

3.You can’t judge any avocado until you guac-a-mile in his shoes.

4.My avocado car has broken down. It’s beyond re-pear.

5.Did you hear about the avocado army that invaded a dining table? They gua-ccupied the bowl.

6.I know an avocado who can run for hours. He’s hard core.

7.Accidentally got some avocado in my eyes and now I think I have guac-oma.

8.I went for a drive with an avocado but he was going really slow so I told him to guac-celerate.

9.He might be small and green, but he does avocado.

10.I was given a backstage pass to the avocado concert. It was Guac-cess All Areas.

'What Did The Avocado Say?'  Jokes

Remember, it takes two halves to avo fruitful conversation.

11.What did the sad avocado say? It’s a hard guac life.

12.What did the avocado half say to the other avocado half?  Without you, I’m empty inside.

13.What did the daddy avocado say to the baby avocado?  You’re a chip off the guac.

14.What did the avocado say when the tortilla chip asked how she was?  I’m all ripe, thank you.

15.What did the avocado say to the fork?  You guac my world.

Did You Know? Everyone's favourite superfood, avocados are the fruit with the most protein in them.

Girl and boy laughing together enjoying an avocado smoothie.
Image © Sam Edwards/KOTO under a creative commons licence.

'What Did The Tortilla Chip Say?'  Avocado Puns And Jokes

We really wanted to gauc the last laugh with our dip into avocado funnies, but the tortilla chip pipped us to the post.

16.What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?  Well, this is guac-ward.

17.What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?  We’ve hit guac bottom.

18.How do tortilla chips say goodbye?  See you later avo-gator. In a while guac-odile.

19.What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?  You are all I avo wanted.

20.What did the tortilla chip say when he was threatening the avocado?  I’m going to have you guac-ing in your boots.

21.What did the tortilla chip say to the mummy, daddy and baby avocado?  Good things come in trees.

'What Do You Get If You Cross An Avocado With' Jokes

It's true guac they say, avocado really does go with anything.

22.What do you get if you cross an avocado with a radio?  A guakie-talkie.

23.What do you get if you cross paper with guacamole?  Avocad-board.

24.What do you get if you cross an avocado with a horrible insect? A guac-roach.

25.What do you get if you cross an avocado with a desert plant? A guac-tus.

Young boy holding half an avocado in each hand making a silly face.
Image © ulianna19970 under a creative commons licence.

Five Fab Guacamole Jokes

Humour especially for people who love a good serving of the mushy stuff.

26.What do you say when the guacamole is ready?  Chip, chip, hooray!

27.What do you say when the guacamole tastes perfect?  Bravocado.

28.What do robots have with their guacamole?  Computer chips.

29.How does the guacamole fairy tale end?  Happily avo after.

30.What did the doctor say to the poorly guacamole?  You need an avoca-dose of medicine.

'What Is An Avocado's...?' Jokes

If you've ever wondered what type of taste avocados have, these jokes will give you an idea.

31.What is an avocado’s favourite type of music? Guac and roll.

32.What is an avocado’s favourite kind of exercise? Avocadio.

33.What is an avocado’s favourite game? Guac-a-mole.

34.What is an avocado’s favourite type of guitar? Guac-oustic.

35.What is an avocado’s favourite place to go on a date? The guac-tail bar.

36.What is an avocado’s favourite way to meet new people? At pear to pear networks.

Baby wearing an avocado costume tries to eat a whole avocado.
Image © KCULP under a creative commons licence.

'What Do You Call' Avocado Puns And Jokes

You'll never hit guac bottom when there are avocado puns around. With so many adjectives used to describe avocados, it's impossible to pick a pear.

37.What do you call an over-ripe avocado? Guaca-mouldy.

38.What do call a religious avocado? Holy guacamole.

39.What do you call young avocados? Avo-kiddos.

40.What do you call a bad avocado? Green spirited.

41.What do you call a good looking avocado? Fruit as a button.

Did You Know? 6,000 avocados are sold every hour in the UK, and National Avocado Day is celebrated on 31st July every year.

More Funny Avocado Jokes And Guac Puns

Because you can never avo-nough jokes, we've guac even more of the best avocado puns and jokes below.

42.Why was the avocado followed by the paparazzi? He was a guac star.

43.How do avocado cartoons end? Guac’s all folks.

44.What did the thief say when he was caught stealing avocados?  I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe.

45.What did the duck say when he found an avocado? Guac, guac.

46.What type of events do avocados go to when they want to find love? Seed dating.

47.What did the mummy avocado say when the baby avocado was upset? Want to avo-cuddle?



At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents.

We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family.

Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability.

Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.

Sponsorship & Advertising Policy

Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising.

We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. This does not influence our choices. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published.

Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.

We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content.

Read our Sponsorship & Advertising Policy
Get The Kidadl Newsletter

1,000 of inspirational ideas direct to your inbox for things to do with your kids.

Thank you! Your newsletter will be with you soon.
Oops! Something went wrong while submitting the form.