100 Best Cold Weather Jokes

Cold weather is a great subject for humor.)
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Cold weather humor is extremely popular all across the world!

Jokes about snow and funny jokes about winter widely prevalent. Most of the time, these jokes about cold weather will keep us cozy, but we must warn you, some of them are really chilly to crack!

Winter humor may also include snowfall jokes, snow day jokes, freezing jokes, December and January jokes, and even the classic winter dad jokes that make you want to go brrrrrrr! You might not feel a cold joke, but you will definitely laugh at all the snow jokes! So, without much ado, let us take a look at this collection of jokes about the cold.

If you are interested in more such articles, take a look at these Sun Puns and Rain Jokes.

Hilarious Cold Weather Jokes

It is important to keep ourselves warm during the wintertime.

Scroll through our list of awesome and funny cold jokes and enjoy the best of cold humor.

1. What is the only dessert you should have in the cold winter? You should have ice cream!

2. Where is the place where snowmen have got to go dancing during the cold weather? They go dancing at the snowball!

3. How did the vampire bite his prey in the cold weather? With the help of frost bite!

4. What happened when I met my friend after ditching him in the cold weather? He gave me the cold shoulder!

5. What should you call a snowman who tells false stories about the cold weather? You call him a snow-fake!

6. What does the Eskimo use in cold weather to seal his house? They use the i-glues!

7. What kind of topping would you get on your dessert in the cold weather? You would get icing on the cake!

8. What was the cause for Santa's elf helper to be depressed and sad? It was because he had low elf-esteem!

9. What happens when someone gets very angry in cold weather? That person has a meltdown!

10. What is the best Mexican food to have during the cold weather? You should have a brrrrr-ito!

11. How did the archer shoot arrows in the cold weather? He used the snowbows!

12. During the cold weather, what gives off negative vibes? You get negative vibes from the temperature

13. What kind of beverage should we have during the cold weather? We should have a fros-tea!

14. What should you call the famous survivalist during cold weather? You should call him Brrrrrr Grrrrryllssss!

15. What is the nationality to which Santa Claus belongs? He is of a North Polish ethnicity!

16. What kind of pictures would two people like to take during the cold weather? They would definitely take polar-oids!

17. How should people confront their enemy in the cold weather? They have got to confront each other with an icy stare!

18. What is the only letter missing from the English alphabet during the time of Christmas? There is Noel during Christmas!

19. What do you call the friendly ghost during the cold weather? You get to call him Cas-brrrrrr!

20. How did the boy say he called for dessert during the cold weather? He said, "Ice cream for dessert!"

21. Why do seals like to swim in saltwater? Because they don't really like chilly water!

22. Why do Eskimos not like Instagram? Because it is just an IG without any loo anywhere!

23. How did the people react when the King survived after being stranded in the snowstorm? Everyone shouted, "All hale, the King!"

24. What should everyone be calling the jack-o-lantern during cold times? We should just call it Jack Frost!

25. When should we have crackers in the cold weather? When the weather is crispy for everyone!

26. What is the cosmetic product that has been manufactured in the Arctic for a long time? It is a cold cream!

27. What is the thing that many of us want to eat for lunch in winter? We like to get the ice-berger!

28. What did the reindeer say when it turned blind due to the cold weather? "I really have no eye deer!"

29. Why is today not the best day to joke about the cold weather? Because today is the snow joke day!

30. What kind of cellphones should you be using during a cold day in winter? You have got to get yourself a snow-mobile!

31. Why was the Eskimo angry about global warming? Because he had no privacy in his igloo due to global warming!

32. How did the snowman say that he saw a ghost in the extreme cold? He says, "I thaw a ghost!"

33. What kind of seasoning would you want to put in your food during times of cold? People usually use chilly sauce!

34. What is the name of the country that is really cold but lies close to the equator? Of course, it is Chilly!

35. What did Jake Peralta say when the snow finally melted after a few months? He said, "Noice!"

Funny Winter Jokes

Jokes on winter are awesome and chilly, snowing jokes and snowman jokes being the major contributor. Take a look at some of them below.

36. What is used only for a mountain to stay warm in the cold winter? They use their snowcaps!

37. What did the snowman say to the boy as a greeting in the cold weather? "You have an ice day!"

38. Why can't the snow climb up a ladder? Because the snow falls!

39. What would a snowman be known as in the time of summer? He would be called a puddle!

40. What are the children of snowmen known as? They are known as chill-dren!

41. How did the snowman get to work every day? He got to work every day by icicle!

42. Where are snowmen known to keep all their savings? They keep it all in the snow banks!

43. How do you call your brother during the chilly winter? You call him brrrrrr-othe-rrrrr!

44. Why did the hipster keep his iPod outside during the winter? Because he liked to listen to cool music!

45. During winter, what can people catch with their eyes closed? They can easily catch a cold!

46. What is the only thing unique about the month of December? Well, it is the letter D!

47. What happens when the snowman cannot see properly? The snowman rubs his ice!

48. Why did the son ask his father to go to the North Pole? This was because he wanted a pop-sicle!

49. Where did Rudolph go to replace his old tail? Rudolph, the Reindeer, went to the retail store!

50. What happened to the snowman when the icicle hit him? Unfortunately, he was knocked out cold!

51. What are the two things that fall in the cold weather but never get hurt? It is the temperature and snow!

52. What did the snowman say when he understood the problem about winter? He said, "Now icy!"

53. Who is the only person who hates the warm winter bonfire? Who else, other than the snowman?

54. Where do people go to watch movies in the wintertime? They watch movies at the dive-in couches!

55. What are robots supposed to wear when it snows during December? They are supposed to wear roboots!

56. What did the two snowmen tell each other? One of them asked the other whether they could smell the carrot!

57. How can one scare a naughty snowman during the wintertime? You just need to bring out the hairdryer!

58. What is the kind of ball that is not known to bounce during the wintertime? It is actually the snowball!

59. What is the favorite breakfast of most children during winter? They will love to have a bowl of Ice Krispies!

60. How should one say farewell to a snowman? One can bid them farewell by saying that the snowman will be mist!

61. Where do people get all their information during the month of January? They get it on the winter-net!

62. What is the best tool for a farmer to use during the wintertime? He uses the snow plow!

63. Where do all the snowmen travel to once the season of winter is over? They all travel over to Iceland!

64. Why was the snowman sad about his future during the wintertime? It was because his future looked very bleak!

65. What should we be calling a slightly slow skier? We should be calling him a slope-poke!

66. What did the cops shout when they saw that the snowman was the robber? They shouted, "Freeze!"

67. How to get anesthesia during wintertime before any procedure? We can stay out in the cold!

68. Why was the debris of the sunk ship shaking during the wintertime? Well, it just was a nervous wreck!

69. Where and when can one find the North Pole and South Pole without any snow? Anytime you see their maps!

Timeless It's So Cold Jokes

Wintertime is the season of festivities around the world.

These classic jokes about how cold it is will never get too old and rusty to not make you laugh. You're bound to love at least one.

70. It is so cold outside that my words froze as I was speaking!

71. It is so cold today that while coming to the band performance, Axel Froze!

72. It is so cold outside that I was breathing out snowflakes!

73. It is so cold outside that even Ice Cube doesn't want to go grocery shopping!

74. It is so cold outside that even time has frozen!

75. It is so cold outside that even the snowmen are wearing sweaters!

76. It is so cold outside that even the snow angels have had their wings frozen!

77. It is so cold outside that I saw a thief with his hands in his own coat pockets!

78. It is so cold outside that my father was using the ice pack to keep himself warm!

79. It is so cold outside that my brother and I, two of us, had to turn on the air conditioner to keep ourselves warm!

80. It is so cold outside that even polar bears are wearing thermal wear!

81. It is so cold outside that I really think that my sweaters are in need in of some sweaters!

82. It is so cold outside that Jack Ryan turned into Jack Frost!

83. It is so cold outside that it is way colder than a refrigerator on the continent of Antarctica!

84. It is so cold outside that the Eskimos are coming all the way down to the south!

85. It is so cold outside that I even saw a hipster not trying to do anything cool!

86. It is so cold outside that almost all the swimmers in the world have retired because they do not want to wear their swimming gear!

87. It is so cold outside that even Siberians are feeling cold and shivering!

88. It is so cold outside that even the hitchhikers are not showing their thumbs to ask for a ride!

89. It is so cold outside that my grandpa's teeth were chattering in the glass of hot water!

90. It is so cold outside that Eskimos are planning on staying inside freezers to keep themselves warm one of these days!

91. It is so cold outside that even Chuck Norris is thinking of wearing a top!

92. It is so cold outside that I heard my neighbor had his tooth chipped while having soup!

93. It is so cold outside that I realized that the stone in my shoe was actually my very own toe!

94. It is so cold outside that the cops don't even need to tell the thieves to stop, they just freeze on their own!

95. It is so cold outside that the pine trees have decided to chop themselves to get firewood!

96. It is so cold outside that even the Statue of Liberty's Lady Liberty has moved the flame closer to her!

97. It was so cold outside that even revenge felt like it had been served hot!

98. It is so cold outside that even the snowflakes that are falling have goosebumps all over them!

99. It was so cold outside that we literally had to push our house a bit so that heater would begin to work by jump-starting!

100. It is so cold outside that my knee cap is slowly transforming into a snow cap!

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Cold Weather Jokes then why not take a look at Rain Puns, or Snow Jokes.

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