38 Best 'Dogma' Quotes From The Funny Fallen Angel Movie

'Dogma' quotes from the movie are funny
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'Dogma' is a fantasy comedy genre film written and directed by Kevin Smith.

The star studded cast of the movie includes names like Alan Rickman, Ben Affleck,  Chris Rock, Matt Damon, Salma Hayek and many more popular actors and actresses besides this. Smith's 'View Askewniverse' series continues with this fourth instalment with the movie 'Dogma'.

The plot centers around two fallen angels who after being cast out by God intend to use a loophole in Catholic dogma as a pass in order to return to Heaven, but their success will prove God wrong. The seraph Metatron sends the last scion and two prophets to stop them. The lost angels Loki and Bartleby have been exiled from Paradise for millions of years and are now living in somewhere out in the rural state of Wisconsin. They hear that a New Jersey church has declared a 'Plenary Indulgence Day' that will enable them to return to Heaven. It's the new proposal of a secular cardinal who wants to modernize religion by implementing such policies, such as replacing Christ on the cross with a smiling Jesus. These 'Dogma' quotes will include all the witty repartee and all the quotes by the whole cast Enjoy these 'Dogma' movie quotes.  

If you like what you're reading, then check out our other  quotes article ['Jay And Silent Bob' quotes] and Alan Rickman quotes.

Best Of 'Dogma' Movie Quotes

'Dogma' quotes are the best.

Dogma has some of the best quotes that will make everyone want to re-watch the movie. Listed below are the greatest 'Dogma' movie quotes.

1. “He said that faith is like a glass of water. When you're young, the glass is little, so it's easy to fill.”

- Liz, 'Dogma'.

2. “Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any documented occasion when some yahoo claims God has spoken to them, they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves.”

- Metatron, 'Dogma'.

3. “Church laws are fallible because they're created by man.”

- Loki, 'Dogma'.

4. “Read the Bible again sometime. Women are painted as bigger antagonists than the Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks.”

- Serendipity, 'Dogma'.

5. “I'm supposed to be in it. I was the thirteenth apostle.”

- Rufus, 'Dogma'.

6. “One of the choirs of angels. They're called 'Watchers' - guess what they do. So, one day Loki's wiping out all the firstborns of Egypt...”

- Metatron, 'Dogma'.

7. “The major sins never change.”

- Loki, 'Dogma'.

8. “This coming from the guy who still owes me ten bucks over which would be the bigger movie: 'E.T.' or 'Krush Groove'?"

- Bartleby, 'Dogma'.

9. “Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, next to soccer.”

- Loki, 'Dogma'.

10. “She can rebuild you. She has the technology.”

- Metatron, 'Dogma'.

Bethany And Bartleby Quotes

Bethany and Bartleby quotes are popular.

Bethany and Bartleby played by Linda Fiorentina and Ben Affleck respectively have the some great quotes in the movie. Check them out.

11. "New Jersey? That doesn't sound like much of a crusade."

- Bethany, 'Dogma'.

12. “This is humanity at its best. Look at them. All that anger, all that mistrust, all that unhappiness…forgotten for that one perfect moment when they get off the plane.”

- Bartleby, 'Dogma'.

13."What, more angels?"

-Bethany, 'Dogma'.

14.“You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You've been in His presence. He's spoken to you personally. Yet I just heard you claim to be an atheist.”

-Bartleby, 'Dogma'.

15.“Remind me to try the water-to-wine thing at my next party.”

- Bethany, 'Dogma'.

Famous Quotes By Loki

Matt Damon did an excellent job playing the character of Loki. Here are some of the most well-known and interesting Loki quotes .

16.“I'm talking about divine justice here. I'm talking about raining down fire and brimstone, punishing the wicked.”

- Loki, 'Dogma'.

17."He just lost it."

-Loki, 'Dogma'.

18. "Yeah, I know. Listen, my advice to you: you take this money that you've been collecting for your parish, go get yourself a nice dress."

-Loki, 'Dogma'.

19."I love to keep those guys on their toes."

-Loki, 'Dogma'.

20."I'll hold true in heaven."

-Loki, 'Dogma'.

Popular Quotes By Metatron

Metatron played by Alan Rickman has some amazing quotes. Check these Metatron 'Dogma' quotes out.

21. “One of the drawbacks to being a martyr is that you have to die.”

- Metatron, 'Dogma'.

22.“Worse. Wisconsin. For the entire span of human history. And when the world ends, they'll have to sit outside the gates for all eternity.”

- Metatron, 'Dogma'.

23.“Well, I say we get drunk, because I'm all out of ideas.”

- Metatron, 'Dogma'.

24.“Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adams before we figured that one out.”

- Metatron, 'Dogma'.

25.“That's what Jesus said.”

- Metatron, 'Dogma'.

Quotes By Other Characters

Here's a list of popular quotes by the other characters from the movie like Azrael, Jay, Liz, Rufus, Serendipity played by Jason Lee, Jason Mewes, Janeane Garofalo, Chris Rock and Salma Hayek respectively.

26. “Death is a worry of the living. The dead, like myself, only worry about decay.”

- Rufus, 'Dogma'.

27.“Oh, no, I've seen way too many Bond movies to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan, no matter how close you may think you are to winning.”

- Azrael, 'Dogma'.

28. “I'm Jay, and this is my hetero life mate, Silent Bob.”

- Jay, 'Dogma'.

29.“I’m a muse, Stupid!”

- Serendipity, 'Dogma'.

30.“That sounds militant. You thinking of joining the other side?”

- Liz, 'Dogma'.

31. “Get offa me. I wanna see what's up”

- Jay, 'Dogma'.

32."You were tired of doing all the work and getting none of the credit for your ideas."

-Rufus, 'Dogma'.

33."Writer's block. Can you believe it? Me, a muse, for God's sake. I can inspire anyone I meet and give out a zillion and nine ideas a second, but I can't keep any for myself. Her quirky sense of humor."

-Serendipity, 'Dogma'.

34."Now if I remember my protocol correctly, the powers will attempt to contact the Last Scion; which leaves us no other recourse than to eliminate her before she enters the fray. I need you three to shuffle her loose the mortal coil."

-Azrael, 'Dogma'.

35."The Man loved being human. Probably why He was so good at it."

-Rufus, 'Dogma'.

36."Prepare to taste God's wrath."

-Bartleby, 'Dogma'.

37."Christ, if only we had their numbers."

-Cardinal Glick, 'Dogma'.

38. "Very basic strategy. If your enemies know where you are, then don't be there."

-Rufus, 'Dogma'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Dogma quotes then why not take a look at faith in God quotes or Loki quotes.

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