FOR ALL AGES

75 Best Funny Quotes About School For Students And Teachers

Back to school quotes are enjoyed by all.

You can choose to love them or dislike them, but there’s no doubt that teachers play a large role in one’s formative years simply due to the number of years spent in school.

It wouldn't be an exaggeration to say that teachers can change lives because they honestly can! Moreover, light-hearted quotes and funny sayings about school for students and teachers have never hurt anybody.

Below are a few funny quotes about school for students and teachers that you can share in your classroom, whether you’re a teacher or just a student. If you like these articles, make sure to check out our quotes on end of school quotes and [funny teacher quotes].

Funny Quotes For Students Going Back To School

Whether it's back to school quotes or funny quotes for kids about school, everyone enjoys these funny quotes about school life. Here are some of the best funny kid quotes about school to make you laugh with your friends.

Students love going back to school to meet their friends.

1. “The most important thing we learn at school is the fact that the most important things can’t be learned at school.”

- Haruki Murakami.

2. “In school they told me Practice makes perfect. And then they told me Nobody’s perfect, so then I stopped practicing.”

- Steven Wright.

3. “We all learn by experience but some of us have to go to summer school.”

- Peter De Vries.

4. “You can drag my body to school but my spirit refuses to go.”

- Bill Watterson.

6. “A man who has never gone to school may steal from a freight car; but if he has a university education, he may steal the whole railroad.”

- Theodore Roosevelt.

7. “There are only two places in the world where time takes precedence over the job to be done: school and prison.”

- William Glasser.

8. “My mum wakes me up to go to school but she doesn’t know that my favorite place to sleep is on the last bench.”

- Unknown*.

9. “As long as there will be Maths in school I always pray to God.”

- Unknown*.

10. “High School looks good on TV but in reality, it does not.”

- Unknown*.

11. “In 300 BC Euclid invented geometry, and the grade F.”

- Unknown*.

12. “True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.”

- Kurt Vonnegut.

13. “You send your child to the schoolmaster, but ’tis the schoolboys who educate him. You send him to the Latin class, but much of his tuition comes, on his way to school, from the shop- windows.”

— Ralph Waldo Emerson.

14. “The science fair has long been a favorite educational tool in the American school system, and for a good reason: Your teachers hate you”.

- Dave Barry.

15. “My school was so tough the school newspaper had an obituary column.”

- Norm Crosby.

16. “Every class is drama class when you’re in high school.”

- Timothy Bird.

17. "The only difference between success and failure is the ability to take action."

- Alexander Graham Bell.

Funny Quotes For Teachers And Back To School Quotes

When it comes to back to school quotes, the funny quotes about school teachers as well as funny quotes  about high school will make the cut. Henry Ford, Robert Morley, Malala Yousafzai, Dr Seuss, Jenny Han, Victor Hugo, Milton Berle are some of the authors who have written interesting back to school quotes.  Read on for some of the best back to school quotes as a starting point on your journey to the school door.

Going back to school is essential for learning.

18. “Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught.”

- Oscar Wilde.

19. “Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”

- Fran Lebowitz.

20. “I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.”

- Woody Allen.

21. “It’s easier to floss with barbed wire than admit you like someone in middle school.”

- Laurie Halse Anderson.

22. “I've always loved the first day of school better than the last day of school. Firsts are best because they are beginnings.”

- Jenny Han.

23. “Some students drink at the fountain of knowledge.”

- E.C. McKenzie.

24. “When a teacher calls a boy by his entire name, it means trouble.”

- Mark Twain.

25. “Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance.”

- Will Durant.

26. “Education costs money, but then so does ignorance.”

- Claus Moser.

27. “Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.”

- Edmund Burke.

28. “But there are advantages to being elected President. The day after I was elected, I had my high school grades classified Top Secret.

- Ronald Reagan.

29. “I loved fresh school supplies, new outfits, the change of seasons.”

- Unknown*.

30. “Education can get you the only thing that really matters in today’s world—an assigned parking space.”

- Gene Perret.

31. “School is a building which has four walls with tomorrow inside.”

- Lon Watters.

32. “If you think your teachers are tough, wait ‘til you get a boss.”

- Bill Gates.

33. “There’s more treasure in books than in the entire pirate’s loot on Treasure Island.”

- Walt Disney.

34. “Those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it.”

- Edmund Burke.

35. “I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.”

- Lily Tomlin.

36. “Headmasters have powers at their disposal with which Prime Ministers have never yet been invested.”

- Winston Churchill.

37. “People learn something every day, and a lot of times it’s that what they learned the day before was wrong.”

- Bill Vaughan.

38. “Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school.”

- Albert Einstein.

Funny Back To School Quotes And Sayings

Vacation is over, and that’s no laughing matter. But one can definitely go back to the classroom with a smile on their face, thanks to these funny back to school quotes laid down just for you. Along with these funny back to school quotes, do check out the funny school quotes as well with freedom.

39. “...if you want to know what society’s going to be like in 20 years, ask a kindergarten teacher.”

- Clifford Stoll.

40. “There are three things to remember when teaching: know your stuff; know whom you are stuffing; and then stuff them elegantly.”

- Lola May.

41. “A teacher’s job is to take a bunch of live wires and see that they are well-grounded.”

- Darwin D. Martin.

42. “He who can, do. He, who cannot, teaches.”

- George Bernard Shaw.

43. “Luke comes home from his first day of school, and his mother asks, What did you learn today?  ‘Not enough,’ Luke replies. They said I have to go back tomorrow.”

- Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

44. “Nate: Why was school easier for cave people?

Kate: Why?

Nate: Because there was no history to study!”

- Nathaniel R., Glendale, Wis.

45. “A book never written: ‘The Best Subject in School’ by Jim Class.”

- Ian B., Howell, N.J.

46. “David: Why did the broom get a poor grade in school?

Dan: I don’t know. Why?

David: Because it was always sweeping during class!”

- David L., Hicksville, NY.

47. Luke: “Why did the M&M go to school?

Stan: I’m stumped.

Luke: Because he really wanted to be a Smarty!”

- Luke C., Somers, N.Y.

48. “Chad: Why do magicians do so well in school?

Josh: I don’t know. Why?

Chad: They’re good at trick questions.”

- Chad N., Firestone, Colo.

49. “Jacob: Why was the teacher wearing sunglasses to school?

Leonard: Why?

Jacob: She had bright students!”

- Jacob B., South Bend, Ind.

50. “Sunday is a teacher’s day of rest: the rest of the laundry, the rest of the housework, and grade the rest of the papers.”

- Heidi McDonald.

51. “As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools.”

- Anonymous.

52. “A very wise old teacher once said: I consider a day’s teaching wasted if we do not all have one hearty laugh.”

- Gilbert Highet.

53. “A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she’s looking at.”

- John R. Kemble.

54. “If you really want to know about the future, don’t ask a technologist, a scientist, a physicist. No! Don’t ask somebody whose writing code.”

- Clifford Stoll.

55. “In the school I went to, they asked a kid to prove the law of gravity and he threw the teacher out of the window.”

- Rodney Dangerfield.

56. “Summer: The time of the year when parents realize just how grossly underpaid teachers actually are.”

- Unknown*.

Funny School Quotes For High School Students

Funny school quotes as well as back to school quotes are extremely popular with students all over. Read on for some of the best funny school quotes that will compel you to get back to school to seek your freedom.

57. “By choosing to be a teacher, you have entered an emotionally dangerous profession.”

- Unknown*.

58. “Teaching is the greatest act of optimism.”

- Colleen Wilcox.

59. “Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils.”

- Hector Berlioz.

60. “Teachers are the only professionals who have to respond to bells every forty-five minutes and come out fighting.”

- Frank McCourt.

61. “To be good is noble, but to teach others how to be good is nobler—and less trouble.”

- Mark Twain.

62. “I never did very well in math—I could never seem to persuade the teacher that I hadn’t meant my answers literally.”

- Calvin Trillin.

63. “Others just gargle [from the fountain of knowledge].”

- E.C. McKenzie.

64. “Education is our passport to the future.

- Malcom X.

65. “If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss. He doesn’t have tenure.”

- Bill Gates.

66. “Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years.”

- Gracie Allen.

67. “You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.”

- Jay Mohr.

68. “As long as teachers give tests, there will always be prayer in schools.”

- Unknown*.

69. “So, I used to be a music teacher. I used to teach K-5 music here in New York City. I taught the recorder. Are you guys familiar with Satan’s little flute? If there’s music in Hell, I assure you, it is played on a recorder.”

- Ted Lexandro.

70. “She used to be a teacher but she has no class now.”

- Fred Allen.

71. “I was in a lot of plays. We had a weird drama teacher in that he was incredibly enthusiastic about a high school drama program and would talk to all the kids for hours.”

- Maria Bamford.

72. “You think when gym teachers were younger, they’re thinking, “You know, I want to teach...but I don’t want to read. How about kickball for 40 years?”

- Jim Gaffigan.

73. “I like a teacher that gives you something to take home to think about besides homework.”

- Lily Tomlin.

74. “There are three good reasons to be a teacher - June, July and August.”

- Unknown*.

75. “A gifted teacher is as rare as a gifted doctor and makes far less money.”

- Unknown*.

*Do you know where this quote originates? We'd love to hear from you at [email protected]

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Funny quotes about school, why not look at [middle school quotes], or Homeschool quotes.

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Kidadl Team

The Kidadl Team is made up of people from different walks of life, from different families and backgrounds, each with unique experiences and nuggets of wisdom to share with you. From lino cutting to surfing to children’s mental health, their hobbies and interests range far and wide. They are passionate about turning your everyday moments into memories and bringing you inspiring ideas to have fun with your family.

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