50+ Best Library Jokes That Shhh!

Library jokes and puns are quiet funny!
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Libraries are 'quiet' the opposite of what most kids like these days.

To hold a hardbound or paperback book seems like a pre-technological dream in a world where kids learn from audiobooks and Kindles. Libraries offer that respite from the backlight exposure to the eyes and are a small nook of rustic and archaic wonder in a wide world of technological advancement.

Libraries almost seem like a wonder of the world nowadays. People with an old soul who still prefer the feel of age-old yellowed pages and get the good-ol' bookish smell of books while reading often visit the libraries for this as well. Speaking of which, we all know how strict libraries and their librarians can get when it comes to maintaining the quietude and sanctity of this good and almost holy place. In fact, that is what draws most people to the library as well, not just the books. For a little bit of peace and quiet and time for yourself. If you are a stern bibliophile then you might be someone who goes to the library and asks for a book, you get the best edition, and also get the best seat to spend a great time with a good book.

But, you can always laugh heartily by cracking jokes about the library whenever you are outside of it (well, if you are someone who often asks for a book from the librarian and have built a rapport, you might make a joke or two inside!). Libraries are the hub of knowledge and the art of humor is an integral part of it as well. People who love the library, librarians, or even library groups can share a joke or two about libraries, librarians, and books and have a witty, interesting, and very hearty conversation about it as well. While we all need quiet and calm in our lives, it is also imperative to laugh out loud. It is good for the heart and soul. If you are looking for a list of library jokes, check out this well-curated list. You may get most of these jokes and if you don't get one or two of them, there is plenty here that you can share with one or many of your library buddies. You can eventually become the good punny one in your group of friends, or in that one favorite library, you often visit.

If you happen to like our funny content, check out these other hilarious articles like Book Puns and Library Puns.

Funny Library Jokes For Kids

Library-centric jokes about books make really funny little stories.

Looking for some of the choicest and best-selling jokes about libraries and library humor? This is one good list that has some funny library jokes, riddles about libraries, and library one-liners you will simply love. Of course, there's content about books too. Even if the librarian says to stay quiet, you can snigger a little!

1. Why are libraries considered to be the highest buildings by everyone? They have too many stories.

2. Why do most heart surgeons tell their patients to visit the library? Because they are good for circulation.

3. Why does Dracula frequent the library? He likes to sink his teeth into good books.

4. Why is it hard to get reservations to visit the largest library in the world? It is overbooked always.

5. How do the books stay warm in the libraries? They wear book jackets.

6. Why do ghosts frequently visit the library? They go through the books very quickly.

7. Where do libraries keep books about the sasquatch? In the large-print section.

8. Where do libraries keep their books about various conspiracies? Right behind you.

9. Where are the books on reincarnation kept in a library? At the Returns Counter.

10. What do poetry books say to their readers in the library? Iamb yours.

11. How do books about colors introduce themselves to the reader? Yellow! Orange you happy that I will make you well red?

12. How do they always keep a library project top-secret? Keep it all very hush-hush.

13. Why can nobody find books on magic in a library? Because they disappear.

Very Punny Library Jokes

You can never have loud fun in a library, but you can always have some pun for sure!

Looking to have some pun in the library? Here is a list of some of the punniest library jokes that won't make you stay shhhh for too long. These include librarians jokes as well. Get the best of library jokes here. If you read them in a library, it looks like it won't really remain a good, quiet and great environment anymore. But a joke or two in the library doesn't hurt. But always be careful, the librarian says shhhh.

14. Why did the local library ban drinks for people who read there? Because a person poured some milk on the serials.

15. Why do librarians love good jokes about the books? They always get the reference.

16. Why do modern libraries not keep dystopian books? Because they are so 1984.

17. What does the librarian say to her beloved philosophy book? Dewey look great or not?

18. What did the cops say when the librarian died after a book fell on top of her head? She had her shelf to blame.

19. Why do bookworms never go out? Because they are always booked.

20. Why did the librarian scold the kid when his book on amnesia was seven months overdue? Because he forgot about it.

21. How does a librarian wish someone on their birthday? Many many happy returns.

22. What do librarians say? I have not metadata I did not find likable.

23. What do people who cannot part with their library books say? For you my love is overdue.

24. What does a religion enthusiast say to her religious library book? Our bond is canon.

25. Why did the lady find out about the library in her area only after ages of living there? They were too quiet about it.  

Witty Books And Librarian Humor

Looking for a good librarian joke? Here is a list of some funny librarian jokes and that all librarians will relate to. While laughing, you don't have to bother what any other librarian says.

26. How do librarians save contacts on their phone? They ask for people's call number.

27. What do librarians say when someone needs to contact them? Page me if you need me.

28. How did the librarian slip and fall? She was working in the non-friction section.

29. What book do most librarians take home to read to their cats? 'The Prince and the Paw-purr.'

30. Why did the library authorities fire the librarian? He was so checked out all the time.

31. Why did the librarian fail to finish reading mystery books? He read between the lines.

32. What is one life advice you can expect from a librarian? You need to believe in your shelf.

33. What did the librarian say to the woman who issued too many books? Try not to overdue it.

34. What happens when someone visits the library and asks the librarian for a book on cliffhangers? She says...

35. What did the librarian say to the girl who returned her book late? You have fine written all over you.

36. How do librarians show affection to the love of their lives? They say ISBN thinking about you all day.

37. What do librarians do after they retire? They get ready for a new chapter in their life.

38. Why did the young man visit the librarian often? To get into her good books.

Jokes For Kids About Libraries And Books

Looking for some kid-friendly literary jokes about librarians, books and library book jokes for kids? You will love this list of books jokes.

39. What did the library book say after her friend noticed she got thinner? "I got my appendix removed."

40. Which book in the library wants everyone to leave it alone? A withdrawn book.

41. How did the reader feel after reading a book about colors? It blue him away.

42. What did the reader say to his beloved library book? "May I take you out?"

43. What did the librarian say after she was told that the reader hadn't read Fitzgerald? "You've Gatsby kidding me!"

44. Where in the library can books about alternative facts be found? In the Fiction Section.

45. Why does nobody ever invite John Milton to game nights? Because whenever he comes, there is a pair of dice lost.

46. What did the kid who loves reading horror books ask the librarian? "Do you have any books written by ghostwriters?"

47. Why did the book of incantations fail to work? They forgot to run a spell check on it.

48. What do readers have to say about the new book about teleportation? It sure will get you somewhere.

49. What did the librarian think of the book about Mount Everest? It was such a cliff-hanger.

50. What did the librarian say to the guy who said he disliked 'Lord Of The Rings?' "Do you even know what you are Tolkien about?"

51. Why is Walden considered to be a great book? Because of the Thoreau editing.

52. Why do ghosts always require more and more books? They go through the ones they have too quickly.

53. Why did the elephant use her trunk to bookmark her books? So that she nose where she stopped last.

54. What is the full form of IBS for bookworms? Impulsive Book-reading Syndrome

55. Why did dinosaurs go extinct? Because they did not read

56. What are you supposed to do if your pet starts to eat your book? Take words out of his mouth right away.

57. What did the reader feel like after reading the book about singularity? It really sucked her in.

58. What did the librarian feel about the book about anti-gravity? It was hard to put it down.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Library jokes then why not take a look at Book Jokes, or Latin Jokes.

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