50+ Best Lobster Jokes

Lobster jokes can be sea-riously helpful to break the ice.

We've got a lobster pot full of deliciously funny jokes about lobsters all ready for you.

Lobsters are large marine crustaceans with long bodies, muscular tails, and two big claws that live in burrows and crevices on the seafloor. Lobsters are also one of the most expensive and delicious seafoods and are the favorite choice of meal for a lot of people.

There are at least 30 different types of clawed lobsters and 45 other species of rock or spiny lobsters known to man. Everyone loves lobsters, despite the large price tag they come with! Did you know that, although lobsters are instantly recognisable as red sea creatures, they actually only turn red when you cook them? They are instead found in yellow, green or sometimes even bright blue colors. When the lobster fishermen catch them, they weigh up many factors before choosing the best ones to keep. The lobsters that are too small are thrown back into the sea as they'll need to grow a little more first, and the ones that are too big are also thrown back into the sea in the hopes that they'll add more vigor to the gene pool. In Maine, USA, a lobster's body has to be at the very least three and one quarter inches long to keep, and it can not be longer than five inches.  If you're looking for a lobster joke, a lobster crustacean joke, a seaweed joke, or perhaps even a Santa 'Claws' joke, this article has got you covered. Now that you've learned so much about these wonderful animals, relax and have a little laugh reading the jokes.

If you would like to read more articles about jokes and puns, you can check out these lobster puns and crab puns and jokes for the whole family.

Hilarious Lobster Jokes

Seafood pick up lines can be perfect for impressing a chef.

Seafood fans listen up! Here we have some hilarious jokes about lobsters, some claw jokes, crustacean jokes and shellfish jokes that will get you hooked on laughter. Why don't you get the whole family laughing over dinner and earn the title of funniest family member by sharing these funny lobster puns and lobster jokes? Jokes about lobsters don't get much funnier than these, which is your favorite?

1. Where do lobsters go when they need to borrow some money? To the prawn brokers.

2. What would you get when you cross a telephone with a lobster? A snappy talk.

3. Didn't you meet a beautiful crustacean the other day? Yes, but it seems that I lobst her phone number.

4. What is the favorite shot of one lobster in tennis? The 'lob'.

5. What does the lobster say when they answer their phone? "Shello?"

6. Have you found your lost lobster yet? No, it's just a lost claws now.

7. What is the perfect name for a pet lobster? Clawde.

8. Have you heard that there was a big fight between the blue lobsters and the red lobsters? The other lobsters were saying it was like a sea-n was from a movie.

9. Did you have the lobster bisque tonight for the first time? Yes, and it was souper good.

10. What would you call a pet lobster you get on Christmas Day? Santa Claws.

11. Where do the lobsters keep their clothes? They keep them hanging in their clawsets.

12. What would you call a  lobster who's uncomfortable with tight spaces? It'd be claw-strophobic.

13. Did you hear there's a shop where you can get lobster tails for just $2? Yes, when I went and paid my $2, the shopkeeper started saying, "Once upon a time, there was this lobster..."

14. Have you heard, the new lobster neighbors didn't give any gifts to anyone on Christmas? They're quite shellfish.

15. Why can't you eat any boiled lobster, clam, or shrimps? Because I have some shellfish steamed issues.

16. What would you call a lobster that's always annoyed? A frustacean.

Snappy Jokes About Lobsters

There's nothing like bad lobster jokes, all of them are funny.

These are some amazing lobster and seafood jokes and lobster crustacean jokes that are just the exact right amount of snappy. If you love making your friends and family laugh, you should share a few of your favorite jokes from this funny list. They are bound to get everybody howling!

17. How was your lobster last night? It was pretty rude, it kept imitating my accent.

18. What would you call a crab who likes throwing things? It'd be a lob-ster.

19. What does every lobster like to drink in the morning? Clawfee.

20. Which department do lobsters work at in the bread factory? At the crust station.

21. Why was the lobster blushing? Because the sea weed.

22. Did you hear about the lobster who rode a sea animal to travel the seas? He said that he did it on porpoise.

23. Which passengers were happiest when the Titanic started sinking? The lobsters in the kitchen.

24. Have you heard about the lobster who started going to the gym? It pulled a mussel.

25. What is the basic difference between a lobster and a mobster? Just one ransom letter.

26. What did the angry lobster do when his phone started ringing? He just crabbed his phone and answered harshly to the other person.

27. Did you hear about the lobster who was having a bad day yesterday? He had been feeling crabby since he woke up in the morning.

28. Why were the lobsters out celebrating? Probably because it was the festive sea-son.

29. What did the guy lobster ask the girl lobster at the ball? He went up to her and asked, "Shell we dance?"

30. What did the chef say when a customer asked him why her lobster tasted different to the other freshwater crustaceans? He said, "Because the ocean made it salty."

31. Why did the lobster cross the road? Because it wanted to get to the other tide.

32. Why were the lobsters scoring at the lowest end of the C? That's because they all dropped out of school.

Sea-riously Funny Lobster Jokes

Shore-ly you aren't still looking for more laughs? Well, you're in luck, here we have some of the funniest jokes all about lobsters and some funny red lobster jokes that will sea-riously make you and your friends laugh like cray-sea. Why not share these funny lobster jokes with your friends over a delicious seafood meal? Which is your favorite?

33. What did the confused lobster ask his friend when he didn't understand? He said, "Can you please be a little more pacific?"

34. What did the lobster fisherman say when he found his crate empty on the wharf? He said, "There a-piers to be a problem."

35. What did the husband lobster say to his wife when they were arguing? He said, "I don't think I sea it quite that way."

36. Why is the lobster wearing seashells? Because she was shore they were current-ly trending.

37. Why did the little lobster start wearing fancy clothes to the posh pier school? She did it out of pier pressure.

38. What did the ocean say to the lobster when they saw each other? Nothing, it just waved.

39. Why did the lobster take such a long time to learn just the basics of the English alphabet? Probably because he spent a lot of years at C.

40. Why did the lobsters like working at the Red Lobster? Probably because it gets them out of their shells.

41. Why did the lobster eat his meal at such an early time? Because the food at the restaurant was served based on a first-come, first surfed basis.

42. Did you hear about the lobster that did not know he won an award at the school festival? He did, but he just didn't realize his tidal.

43. What is the first thing that parent lobsters teach their children lobsters? It's that they should not allow a turtle stranger in their homes or premises.

44. Have you heard about the lobster that ran out into the cold weather without its shell? All the other lobsters thought that he was cray-sea.

45. Did you know that all lobsters are very sail-ective eaters? They only go for s-pacific foods.

46. What did the lobster suggest when none of his friends could decide what they wanted to eat? He stepped up and told them, "Water boat having some tofu curry for dinner."

47. What would you call a marine crustacean who's the gangster of the sea? The mobster lobster.

48. What do you call a lobster who won't share with others? Shellfish!

49. Where do lobsters and crabs avail the public transport vehicles from? The Bustacean.

50. Weren't you a professional lobster fisherman? Yes, but it seems that living on my net income was harder than I thought beforehand.

51. Where do lobsters and crabs go when they have to catch their trains? They all go to King's Crustation.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes, puns and riddles for everyone of all ages to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for the best lobster jokes for families then why not take a look at something different, like these amazing seafood puns or this list of the best shrimp puns for lots more family-friendly laughs? We promise they won't leave you feeling crabby!


Written By

Kidadl Team

The Kidadl Team is made up of people from different walks of life, from different families and backgrounds, each with unique experiences and nuggets of wisdom to share with you. From lino cutting to surfing to children’s mental health, their hobbies and interests range far and wide. They are passionate about turning your everyday moments into memories and bringing you inspiring ideas to have fun with your family.

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