54 Best Pizza Puns And Jokes That You Knead To Know

Little girl sat at the table eating a slice of pizza from her plate.

You never know when you might need a cheesy pizza pun.

We like our jokes at Kidadl and we've got some really cheesy jokes in this super-list of our funniest pizza jokes. In fact, we'd say these jokes are cheesier than any pizza you've ever eaten. Pizza jokes are a crust-have, and these jokes about pizza are so funny, you dough not want to miss out!

Vibrant looking pizza with garlic on top and basil leaves.

Pizza Puns:

Get ready for our best pizza puns. If you're one for some some sauce-some word play in your pizza puns, we're sure you wanna pizza this list of cheesy puns!

1) What's a wolf's favourite pizza topping? Pupperoni.

2) What did the chef say about his student's pizza? There's mushroom for improvement.

3) Why was the pizza chef happy when they didn't have to work? They had more thyme to spend with their kids!

4) What do you call a pretend pizza? A pepperphony pizza!

5) Why was the famous pizza sad? It was always being chased by the pepperazzi.

6) Where do Pharaohs like to eat? Pizza Tut.

7) Why was the Hawaiian pizza not cooked? The oven was on aloha temperature.

8) What did the aardvark order on his pizza? Ant-chovies.

9) What do carpenters love to put on their pizzas? Saw-sages.

10)  What did the tough pepperoni say? "Dough you wanna pizza me?"

11) What did the pizza say when it went to the gallery? "I never sausage a beautiful painting, it's the best I've ever seen".

12) What did the pizza say when the party ended? "Good-pie everyone".

13) What did the pepperoni on the pizza say to the mushroom on the pizza ? "Slice to meat you!".

14) What does Dr Who eat with their pizza? Dalek bread!

15) What did the pizza say to the chef when it was thrown onto the pizza? "You don't pepper-own me!"

16) What did the chef say back? "Don't be saucy!"

17) Why does Mr Mushroom always get invited to the pizza parties? Because he is such a fungi!

18) What type of cheese do dogs love to have on their pizzas? Mutt-zarella.

Half and half pizza cut into slices with a pizza cutter resting on the side of it.
Image © Homeslice

Pizza Jokes:

You might want to take note of these jokes you 'dough' want to miss! Who doesn't love a funny joke about pizza? Take a look at some of our best cheesy joke, one after the other.

19) Last night I called my local pizza restaurant and asked if they did takeaways. They said they did, so I said, "Great, what's 24695 minus 4356?"

20) If it took six kids five minutes to eat a whole pizza, how long would it take three kids to eat the pizza? No time, as the six kids already ate the pizza.

21) I had a slice of goat's cheese pizza the other day. He wasn't happy, but it was the best.

22) Why did the man get a super spicy pizza? The waiter thought he ordered a "pepper-only" pizza.

23) What's the difference between a pizza and a good pizza joke? A good pizza joke can't be topped.

24) Why do people keep pizzas in the freezer? To put the "ice" in slice.

25) What does a pizza love to do in its spare time? Go slice-skating.

26) What does a pizza love to eat for dessert? Slice pudding.

27) Where do pepperonis love to go on holiday? The Leaning Tower of Pizza.

28) What do you call a sleeping pizza? A Pizzzza.

29) How do cats eat pizzas? They put it in their mouths, just like the rest of us!

30) Why was it so funny to catch who stole the pizza? The plan wasn't very well thawed-out.

31) Why does eating pizzas make you sleepy? Because with all of that pizza and mozzarella, you're bound to catch some zs!

32) What do you call someone who doesn't like pizzas? A weird-dough.

33) What does a pizza say when it's afraid? Fold me close!

34) How do you fix a broken pizza? With tomato paste.

35) Why did the customer ask for their pizza to be cut into six pieces instead of eight? Eight would be too many to eat.

36) Why could the skunk not call for pizza? His phone was out of odour.

37) Why did Dracula run out of the pizza restaurant? Someone put garlic on his pizza dough.

Homemade margarita pizza with big basil leaves on top.
Image © Unsplash

Pizza One-Liners:

You're heard our best pizza puns, jokes and quips. Now, because we have your absolute best interests at 'hut', up next is a quick-fire list of cheesy joke after cheesy joke.

38) Olive you so, so much!

39) Sorry to sound cheesy, but I crust say, you have melted my heart!

40) You have a pizza my heart!

41) I have so mushroom in my heart for you.

42) I saw a shop sign that said 'Wood Fired Pizza' and I thought "Wood fired Pizza? How will Pizza earn money now?"

43) "Waiter, will my pizza be long?"

"No miss, your pizza will be round".

44) Did you see the new sign in the pizza shop? "Seven days without pizza makes one weak."

45) What can a whole pizza do that a half pizza cannot do? A whole one can look round.

46) May the sauce be with you.

47) I don't crust you to make this pizza without burning it, so I'm ordering one.

48) I just watched my local pizza restaurant make the world's largest pizza base - I'd like to see someone top that!

49) You're a lot like a pizza - no matter how you slice it, you're good.

Dad and daughter in the kitchen making homemade pizza together.

Pizza Knock-Knock Jokes:

So we've covered the best puns about pizza, the best cheesy jokes, and now, here are some funny pizza knock-knock jokes too!

50) "Knock-knock."

"Who's there?"


"Pizza who?"

"Pizza nice guy!"

51) "Knock knock".

"Who's there?"


"Pete who?"

"Pete-za - and all the people love me!"

52) "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"


"Pepperoni who?"

"Pepperoni makes me sneeze!"

53) "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"


"Cheese who?"

"Cheese a jolly good fellow!"

54) "Knock knock."

"Who's there?"


"Pizza who?"

"Pizza cake would be great please!"



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