60 Best Shark Jokes That Are Scarily Funny

Greyish blue shark swimming in the tank at the aquarium.

Image © Unsplash.

Sharks are some of the most ferocious predators on the planet . . . but they're also pretty funny!

If you're looking for funny shark jokes for kids, you've come to the right place. Here's our jaw-some collection of the 'finniest' shark jokes around.

If our great white shark jokes, hammerhead shark jokes, and shark puns tickle your funny bone, have a look at our collection of ocean jokes that are 'shore' to make you laugh. Or, head down to the seaside with our list of hilarious beach puns.

Three school kids sat by a wall laughing at shark jokes.
Image © WavebreakMediaMicro under a creative commons license.

Funny Shark Puns

These jokes about sharks are fin-tastic! Which one is your favourite shark pun?

1) What did the shark say after he was accused of eating a human? Not gill-ty!

2) What do you get when you cross a shark with a snowman? Frostbite!

3) Where do sharks go on holiday? Finland!

4) What's a shark's favourite TV show? Shark trek!

5) What did the shark say when he ate a clownfish? This tastes a little funny!

6) What do you call two sharks who get married? Hooked for life!

7) What did the seal with a broken arm say to the shark? Do not consume if seal is broken!

8) What happened to the shark when he got famous? He became a starfish!

9) What do a shark and a computer have in common? They both have megabites!

10) What do you call a fish that doesn't have any friends? A loan shark!

11) I had a nightmare about being attacked by sharks. When I woke up, I realised it was just a bream!

12) What's a shark's favourite type of sandwich? Peanut butter and jellyfish!

13) How did the hammerhead shark do on his test? He nailed it!

14) What do you get when you cross a shark with a parrot? An animal that will talk your head off!

15) Who's the most famous shark writer? William Sharkspeare!

16) What does a shark say when it sees something cool? That's jaw-some!

17) What do you call the stuff that gets stuck in a shark's teeth? Slow swimmers!

18) Why do sharks live in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

19) What did the mummy shark say to her child? Watch your sharkastic tone!

20) What was the marine biologist's kid's excuse for not having his homework? His shark ate it!

Two greyish blue sharks swimming in the tank at an aquarium.
Image © David Clode on Unsplash.

21) Why did the Great White shark cross the Great Barrier Reef? To get to the other tide!

21) What do sharks say when they have a big decision to make? Chews wisely!

22) What do you get from an angry shark? As far away as possible!

23) What kind of shark wears big, baggy, gold trousers? MC Hammerhead!

24) What's a shark's least favourite sweet? Jawbreakers!

25) Why don't sharks like fast food? Because they can't catch it!

26) Why didn't the shark want to fight the octopus? Because he knew he was well-armed!

27) What do you call an acrobat in shark-infested waters? A balanced breakfast!

28) What does a shark order at McDonalds? A quarter flounder with cheese?

29) What did one shark say to the other shark? There's some-fin special about you!

30) What's a shark's favourite Bible story? The one about Noah's shark!

31) What was the shark's favourite movie? Eating Nemo!

32) What sort of fish operates on a sick shark? A sturgeon!

33) Pretend you are on a boat surrounded by sharks. How do you survive? You stop pretending!

34) What did the shark say to the whale? What are you blubbering about!

35) What should you do if you see a shark? Swim away!

36) Why do the Sharks live in the ocean and not the sky? Because the sky is Jets territory!

37) How does a shark greet a fish? He says, "Pleased to eat you!"

38) Where do country music-loving sharks go? Gnashville!

39) If you thought it was expensive to go swimming with dolphins, you should try swimming with sharks. . . it cost me an arm and a leg!

40) What type of shark do you find at a building site? Hammerhead sharks!

41) How does a shark chef announce that the food is ready? "Hot off the gill!"

42) Who delivers presents to sharks at Christmas? Santa Jaws!

43) What happens when you put a shark and a cow together? I don't know, but I wouldn't like to milk it!

44) What kind of shark likes to gamble? A card shark!

45) What did the Great White shark say to the cliff jumper? "Don't worry, I'll catch you!"

46) What did the shark get on his maths test? A sea-minus!

47) How do you make a shark laugh? By telling it a whale of a tale!

48) What do sharks say to comfort each other after a relationship ends? "It's okay, there are plenty more birds in the sky!"

49) What do British sharks eat? Fish and kids!

Large shark swimming in the tank in an aquarium above the onlookers' heads.
Image © Pexels.

Amusing Shark Anecdotes

These short funny stories about shark encounters will have you in stitches!

50) The star attraction at my local aquarium got repossessed. I think it was a loan shark!

51) I'm beginning to think deciding to call my dog "Shark" was a big mistake. I've been banned from all my local beaches!

52) A new study discovered that sharks only bite people who go swimming in the ocean. Researchers advise not swimming there!

53) I told a friend that I was attacked by a shark the other day. He asked, "Did you punch it on the nose?"

"No," I said, "The shark started it for no reason!"

54) A prospective businessman enters the Shark Tank.

Shark 1: What's your business idea?

Businessman: Ridiculously wide sunglasses.

Shark 1: I'm out.

Shark 2: I'm out.

Hammerhead shark: Tell me more. . .

55) Every year at Halloween for the past six years, I've dressed up as a shark. The joke's wearing fin!

56) I was at the beach when I saw a man in the water yelling. He was shouting, "Help, shark, help!" I just laughed. I knew that shark wasn't going to help him!

57) I don't understand how people get attacked by sharks. Can't they hear the music?

Family of four laughing at shark jokes in the living room.
Image © iStock.

58) On one hand, I should be more focused on my job as a shark feeder at Seaworld. On the other h. . . AARGH!!!

59) I was at the beach the other day when I saw a man swimming in the sea despite the warning signs about the shark-infested waters. He got attacked and lost a leg. I bet he's kicking himself now!

60) It's my life's dream to see a great white shark before I die. Just not right before I die!



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