30+ Best Squidward Quotes For All SpongeBob Critics

Anusuya Mukherjee
Dec 12, 2023 By Anusuya Mukherjee
Originally Published on Feb 04, 2021
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Spongebob, Patrick, Squidward, Sandy, and Gary figure with wall background.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 6.0 Min

Doesn't matter if you are a millennial or a Gen Z kid, you have probably watched one of the funniest cartoon shows, 'Spongebob Squarepants', and loved it!

'Spongebob Squarepants' is a show with amazing writing and relatable content. Watching it has proved to be one of the favorite past times ever, for not just children but teens too.

Spongebob is an overly optimistic guy who loves cooking and has a best friend, Patrick. Patrick is shown to be low on intelligence, thus bringing comedy to the show. Squidward is neighbors with both of them. He is tired of Spongebob and Patrick's childish escapades and is one of the most relatable characters in the show. People of almost all age groups, at times, can relate to Squidward's grumpy and anti-social instincts. Whenever you are down or feel irritated by anyone, these savage Squidward  Tentacles quotes will make sure you have the right words to describe them.

If you are interested in Spongebob Squarepants characters and their quotes, then you can visit these too Spongebob quotes and Patrick Star quotes.

Sad Squidward Quotes

Every one of us has had low points in our lives when it feels like things are never going to be okay. You sometimes have feelings that you can't spell out correctly. Throughout the show, Squidward's character is seen to have shown symptoms of clinical depression. Squidward is mostly low on energy, self-esteem and the will to work. He is almost never content with anything and hates his life. If you have found yourself feeling that way ever, these are some relatable Squidward quotes that will help you understand and explain yourself better the next time.

1. "Hello. You've reached the house of unrecognized talent."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

2. "Just when I thought they couldn't get any stupider"  

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

3. "Why is it whenever I'm having fun, it's wrong?"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

4. "It all started when I was born."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

5. "Welcome to the House of Misery. May I take your order?

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

6. "I knew I shouldn't have gotten out of bed today"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

7. "It's just a cruel reminder that I'm single and likely to remain that way forever."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

8. "Another day, another migraine"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

9. "Oh, it's days like this that make me wish I had gone to college."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

10. "Everybody's a critic."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

Savage Squidward Quotes

Spongebob cartoon characters Squidward and Plankton figurines.

Everyone knows about the discontentment of Squidward with his neighbors, Spongebob and Patrick for years. Everything in Squidward's life gets spoilt by them and Squidward is tired of it. Even the things done in the best of the intentions turn out not-so-happy for Squidward. It's hard not to be insensitive to people who make a ruckus of your life. We all have people in our life who make our lives hard for us. Wouldn't you love to tell off these people in a clever yet fun way? Well, here is a set of funny Squidward quotes that will really put you at the top of your sassy game.

11. "Fortunately, I have enough talent for all of you."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

12. "Welcome to the Krusty Krab, where it's almost as if the evolutionary clock ticks backwards."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

13. "I’m a winner, see my prize! You’re a loser who sits and cries."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

14. "Is it time already for you to ruin my day?"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

15. “Patrick, don’t you have to be stupid somewhere else?”

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

16. "I'm not rushing perfection, I'm rushing you!"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

17. "If I had a dollar for every brain you don't have, I'd have one dollar."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

18. "Do you have barnacles for brains?"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

Squidward Quotes That Say 'I Don't Care'

Sometimes you have to let things go to make yourself at peace. You have to simply not care about things so that they stop troubling you. But what can one do if the people to blame are your neighbors? Squidward has had enough shenanigans from Spongebob and Patrick and now knows that giving too much attention to them will only disrupt his own peace and mental health more. These are some Squidward quotes you'll love that you can use to tell someone that you don't care.

19. "Wake me up when I care."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

20. "I might as well sleep for 100 years or so."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

21. "I can't believe anybody would celebrate a holiday where a jolly prowler breaks into your house and  leaves gifts."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

22. "I order the food, you cook the food, the customer gets the food. We do that for forty years and then we die."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

23. "Please come again... when I'm not working"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

24. "If you think I’m gonna stand out there all day listening to [annoying SpongeBob noises] then you must have coral wedged in your frontal lobe!"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

Handsome Squidward Quotes

Remember the episode where Spongebob Squarepants breaks Squidward's face and he gets surgery and ends up looking too handsome for his own good? Well, the old Squidward took a break then from work and his old life and ended up saying some really wise things. He saw a whole new side of the world which he, at first, loved. But with more handsome looks come a whole lot other challenges that he didn't like and decided to go back to the old version. So here are some handsome Squidward quotes that will make you want to love yourself more.

25. "Good morning my people! I'm sorry to have kept you waiting, but even I [laughs] strange as it seems, need my beauty sleep."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

26. "Beautiful and talented. what more do they want? Don't worry folks, there's more where that came from."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

27. "Public life ain't all it's cracked up to be."

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

Happy Squidward Quotes

These are some moments that are super rare and need to be cherished: Squidward feeling positive! So let's surprise ourselves with some happy Squidward quotes!

28. "What are those Neanderthals doing? Can't they see I'm spoiling myself?"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

29. "I was in the future and then I was in the past, and there was nowhere, and at last, I'm home  and.... you don't know how happy I am to see you guys!"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

30. "Too bad SpongeBob is not here to enjoy SpongeBob not being here!"

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

31. “After going on your life-changing journey, you now realize that you don’t want what you thought you wanted. What you really wanted was inside you all along.”

- Squidward, 'Spongebob Squarepants'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotesfor everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Squidward quotes then why not take a look at [funny cartoon quotes], or Adventure Time quotes.

Main image credit: snapstoria / Shutterstock.com

Article image credit: Burcu Ergin / Shutterstock.com

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Written by Anusuya Mukherjee

Bachelor of Arts and Law specializing in Political Science and Intellectual Property Rights

Anusuya Mukherjee picture

Anusuya MukherjeeBachelor of Arts and Law specializing in Political Science and Intellectual Property Rights

With a wealth of international experience spanning Europe, Africa, North America, and the Middle East, Anusuya brings a unique perspective to her work as a Content Assistant and Content Updating Coordinator. She holds a law degree from India and has practiced law in India and Kuwait. Anusuya is a fan of rap music and enjoys a good cup of coffee in her free time. Currently, she is working on her novel, "Mr. Ivory Merchant".

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