There may be a lot of funny boat names and sea jokes out there, but as far as we're concerned, nothing beats a good boat pun.
This list of clever boat puns is sure to have you and your friends giggling - some of them make people laugh so much, they even get used as funny boat names. If this list still doesn't get you sea-sick of nautical puns, why not take a look at our ocean puns and crab jokes as well?
Boats are fascinating things, and because the sea can be a dangerous place, lots of superstitions have grown up around boats and sailing. For example, did you know that sailors believe it's unlucky to whistle on a boat, or that ships used to keep a cat on board to stop rats from eating all the sailors' food? Boats and ships are often talked about as the same thing, but did you know that a vessel is classified as a ship when it weighs over 500 tonnes? That's why we've called this blog boat puns instead of ship puns - we've not got more than 500 puns, but we think these 41 are enough to get you rolling with laughter.
Funny Boat Puns
A funny pun is a great way to cheer up a friend, so why not share a couple of these?
1.This big speedboat shot past me the other day. Turns out it was Usain Boat.
2.My friend was late for our sailing trip. When she arrived, it was a-boat time.
3.A car ferry sailed past. "That's a ferry impressive boat," shouted the captain.
4.The baby boats are all scared of the boat teacher. She's very stern.
5.This boat tells really good stories. They always have a ferry-tail ending.
6.A brother and sister were arguing about oars in their boat. They were having a row.
7.I got my friend a row boat, but I'd better a-skiff she wants it.
8.There's a sail on at the boat store today.
Seas-s the day and crack out a funny pun about ships from this list.
9.My sister went round back of the ship. The captain gave her a stern look.
10.Your ship is very polite. It's always got a bow for everyone.
11.This ship is slower than the one with three masts, but we'll get there schooner or later.
12.Two cruise ships were in the harbour. "I'm empty. Where is everyone?" said one. "I haven't got a crew," said the second.
13.This ship keeps banging into rocks. It's cruising for a bruising.
14."I don't need this," said the ferry, looking at a workout poster. "I'm already shipshape!"
15.A ferryboat came and dropped off a load of meat and cheese at my house. It was a deliferry.
Canoe believe this list of funny puns?
16.I won the rowing championship, canoe believe it?
17.Two canoes passed each other. "Oh, hey," said one. "Water you doing here?"
18.The canoe was annoyed the paddle fell over the side. Getting it back would be an oar-deal.
19.I love kayaking. Canoe think of a better way to spend your time?
20.A canoe asked a tug whether he'd been to the Atlantic. "Oh, no," he replied. "I wouldn't go there. I have very Pacific tastes."
21.I called my canoe's paddle the wrong name. It was very oar-kward.
If you're all at sea looking for a pun, check out these funny yacht jokes.
22.These boardwalks are upsetting my yacht. She doesn't like mooring here because of the pier pressure.
23.I shouted hello at this fancy-looking ship. "Yacht do you want?" it asked.
24.A yacht moored at the pier. "What's up, dock?" it said.
25.The rowboat used to be the fastest boat in the marina. It's yacht anymore.
26.A rock band's yacht moored then fell over sideways. It liked to dock and roll.
27.This yacht loves to spoil all my puns. He's such a keel-joy.
Canal Boat Puns
Excuse us barging in here with another boat pun or two. They'll be worth the read, you'll sea.
28.The other boats think the canal boat's pushy. He keeps barging through them.
29.The canal boat kept ruining all the other boats' plans. She was a sa-boat-eur.
30.A barge and a speedboat left on a trip. The barge arrived, but the speedboat wasn't there. "I guess she took the sea-nic route," he said.
31.The canal boat was a mess after the storm. He looked a wreck.
32.This poor barge feels sick. It'll have to go to the dock.
If you're feeling like a fish out of water with all these boats, here are our best sailing puns instead.
33.We had a party on our boat the other day. It was a sail-abration.
34.My anchor rope started talking to me, so I asked if it was a person now. "I'm a frayed knot," it replied.
35.Buoy, that big thing floating in the water sure is red.
36.We weren't planning to go sailing, but we decided to seas the day.
37.Do you want to go sailing? Where? Sea, señor. Sea.
38.A rope asked if it was getting a Christmas present. "Depends if you're knotty or nice," the sailor replied.
39.A man kept walking round the harbour sticking poles on the boats. He was the harbour mast-er.
40.A kid put a tied-up piece of rope on a sailor's wrist. "Knot on my watch!" the sailor shouted. "That's knot funny."
41."Why is the anchor on that scale?" shouted the captain. "You told me to weigh anchor," said the sailor.
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