57 Bread Puns And Jokes That Will Never Get Stale

Child and father making bread

There's nothing like a good bread pun to induce some belly laughs - and they're great fun for kids. Bread and baking have endless potential for clever wordplay - just think of all those bread varieties - meaning there are a surprisingly big number of baker puns out there.

Whether you've already heard the punchline about feeling crumby, you're always going against the grain, or think you deserve far butter, we've drawn up a list of bread puns and bakers puns to keep you and your family tickled.

In fact, we reckon you really knead to check out our hilarious bun-dle of the best bread puns, baker jokes and bakery jokes - the best thing since sliced white, we promise, with naan any funnier (sorry).

Bread jokes

1 Why was the baker in a bad mood?

He woke up on the wrong side of the bread.

2 What did one slice of bread say to the other before the race?

You're toast.

3 What did the bag of flour say when she bumped into the loaf of bread?

Didn't I see you yeast-erday?

4 What did the bread say to the roll when they were playing hide and seek?

Bready, or not here I crumb!

5 Why did the two slices of bread run away from the bakery?

They wanted to grow mould together.

6 What do you say to a piece of toast that's fallen face down on the floor?

Butter luck next time.

7 What did the slice of bread say to his girlfriend? I loaf you.

8 Why do we call money dough? Because we all knead it.

9 Why do dough balls  throw great parties? Because they always they rise to the occasion.

10 What did the butter say to the bread? I'm on a roll.

11 What did the piece of toast say to the psychic? Wow, you really bread my mind.

12 What did the muffin say to the crumpet? You deserve butter than this.

13 What happens if a baguette forgets her umbrella?

She'll get soaking wheat all over.

14 What part of a slice of bread is the most sophisticated?

The upper crust.

15 What did the slice of bread say when he broke up with his girlfriend? You deserve butter.

16 Why did the bread go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby.

17 Why doesn't bread like warmer weather? Because it gets too toast-y.

18 What did the sliced bread say when it saw the butter and jam on the table? I'm toast.

19 What do you call a slice of rye with ideas above its station? Upper crust.

20 What do elves make sandwiches with? Short-bread.

21 Why did the ageing loaf of bread retire? Because his career was toast.

22 How do you say hello to German bread? Gluten tag.

23 How does bread remember things? It uses Toast-It notes.

24 How does bread relax after it's finished baking? It loafs around.

Bread puns

Bread Puns

25 I’d tell you the joke about some butter on a piece of bread - but you might spread it around.

26 I don't know why, but whenever I take a photo of my loaf of bread, it comes out grain-y.

27 Heard the one about the loaf of bread who was sad? He had a break down and rye, then he felt much better.

28 Why was the baker feeling anxious? Because he was in a loaf or death situation!

29 What is the best way to get a rise in pay?  Ask for more dough!

30 What do you call a rabbit who has spent too long in the sun? A hot cross bun-ny.

31 Why did the roll go to the doctors? It was feeling really crumby.

32 What kind of bread does Dr Who not like eating? Dalek bread.

33 What do you call sourdough that's been baked by Shakespeare? Poet-rye.

Bakery puns

34 Did you hear about the baker's lorry that spilled its load on the motorway? Police say to expect delays on the yeast- bound carriageway.

35 Why do bakers always work at the weekends? Because they knead the dough.

36 What is a baker's favourite time of year? Yeaster.

37 What sorts of shoes do bakers like to wear? Loafers.

38 What did the baker say to the police officer when he was arrested? Rye are you so serious.

39 What did the baker say as he waved goodbye to the French bread? I'll never bag-uette you.

40 What did the baker say to his customers when his bread didn't rise? Sorry, I did the yeast I could.

41 What do bakers like to get for their birthday? Flours.

42 What do you call the baker who earns the most money? The bread-winner.

Bread one-liners

Bread Puns

43 Did you know that bread puns always happen when you yeast expect them?

44 Cia-batta study harder if she wants to pass her bakery exams.

45 Last week I saw a loaf in a cage at my local zoo - it was bread in captivity.

46 Two croissants are in the oven - one says, "It's hot in here!" - the other replies, "Wow, a talking croissant!"

47 Did you hear the one about the bakery that closed because everything went a-rye?

48 News just in: a thief has been arrested for stealing sourdough - he was caught bread-handed.

49 Bread is like the sun, it rises in the yeast.

50 Did you hear about the bread factory that burned down – now the business is toast.

52 Did you hear about the man who fell off his roof onto a pile of French bread – he was in a lot of pain (French for bread - get it?).

53 Radical bakers are always going against the whole-grain.

Other jokes

54 Knock, knock: who's there?


Donut who?

Donut ask; it's a secret!

55 Knock knock: who's there?


Bread who?

You bread my mind!

56 Patient: Doctor, doctor, I feel like a sandwich

Doctor: You'd better go straight to bread.

57 Patient: Doctor, doctor, I can't stop eating bread.

Doctor: You ba-guette some rest as soon as possible.



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