40+ Hilarious Fish Jokes And Puns That Are Off The Scale

child with fish jokes

When it comes to telling jokes, there's no better way for kids to spread the cheer and have a giggle than to learn some new ones to share with the rest of the family.

With World Ocean Day just behind us, it's the perfect time to update your marine-life humour. So, stop clown(fish)ing around and check out our favourite fish-related jokes - you'll be sure to have the laughter coming in waves!

Fish Jokes For Kids

1) What did the shark say after eating a clownfish? That tasted a little bit funny!

2) What type of music should you listen to whilst fishing? Something catchy.

3) Why do fish swim in schools? Because they can't walk.

4) How do you talk to a fish? You drop it a line!

5) What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.

6) What's the difference between a piano and a fish? You can tune a piano but you can't tuna fish!

7) Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because they have their own scales.

8) What kind of fish only comes out at night? A starfish.

9) Where do fish go to borrow money? A loan-shark.

10) What do fish take to stay healthy? Vitamin Sea.

11) What did one fish say to the other? Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught!

12) What do you call a fish with lots of money? A goldfish.

13) Why don't fish like basketball? Because they're afraid of the net!

14) How do shellfish get to the hospital? In a clambulance.

15) What do whales have for dinner? They eat fish and ships!

Funny Fish One-Liners

16) Two fish are in a tank, one turns to the other and says "How do you drive this thing?"

17) Yesterday I had a cup of coffee with a penguin. He said he would have preferred a fish.

18) There was a sale today at the fish market, so I went to see what the catch was.

19) Two fish swam into a concrete wall, one turns to the other and says "Dam!"

20) There was a massive fight today at the fish restaurant. One fish got battered!

Knock Knock Jokes

21) Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Fish who?

Bless you!

22) Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Fish who?

Fish-ious temper you have there, you need to calm down!

23) Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Artie Fish.

Artie Fish who?

Artie Fish-el Intelligence.

24) Knock, knock.

Who's there?


Fish who?

Fish you a Merry Christmas, we fish you a Merry Christmas!

Fish Puns

25) If you can think of a better fish pun, let minnow...

26) Well, salmon had to say it.

27) You're so so-fish-ticated!

28) That was a terrible joke, I’d make him walk the plankton for that!

29) I'm feeling fin-tastic today.

30) Have you thought of a fish pun yet or do you need some more time to mullet over?

31) That's enough fish puns for today, I think we should scale back.

32) Did you hear that the pearl thief is still at large? Some are calling it a clamity!

Funny Fishing Jokes

33) What do you get if you cross a fishing rod with a P.E sock? A hook, line and stinker!

34) What is the most famous fish you can catch? A starfish!

35) What is the most valuable fish you can catch? A goldfish

36) Where does a fish keep its money? A riverbank!

37) What kind of music should you listen to while fishing? Something with a good tune-a!

Hilarious Seafood Jokes

38) Why did the crab keep all the food to themselves? Because it was a shellfish!

39) What would you have if you crossed an owl with an oyster? An animal that gives you pearls of wisdom!

40) What did a shark eat with it's peanut butter sandwich? A jellyfish.

41) How did the oyster manage to hide from the fish? Clamouflage!



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