Feet are a great source of entertainment: you can tickle them and you can tell jokes about them too!
Feet are also a fascinating part of the human anatomy; they contain so many bones that they make up about a quarter of all the bones in your body! An adult foot contains 33 joints, 26 bones and 19 muscles.
The reason they are so ticklish is because of the 8,000 nerve endings you can find in your feet. Hang on to your feet carefully, because on average, people walk over 100,000 miles in their lifetime. Crazy, right?
Scientists have used foot bones to determine when humans started walking, millions of years ago. They have also been able to establish that humans have been wearing shoes for a very long time, perhaps almost 40,000 years ago!
Whether you have big feet, small feet, wide feet or flat feet, this collection of more than 100 foot puns should delight you! So settle down comfortably and read a foot pun or two; make sure you keep your feet on the ground, though!
If you're after some more entertainment about human anatomy, we recommend you take a look at this list of the best spooky skeleton jokes for kids.
Jokes About Feet
Let's face it, there is nothing like a collection of the best feet jokes to start your day on the right foot!
1. What did the foot say when it met its father's brother for the first time? Pleased to meet you, ankle!
2. What's a foot's favorite food? Shoe-shi!
3. What does a foot have for breakfast? Jam and toe-st!
4. What's a foot long, made of leather and sounds like a sneeze? A shoe!
5. What is the foot's favorite type of chips? Dori-toes!
6. What does a thief wear on its feet? Sneakers!
7. Which two Ancient Greek philosophers had the nicest feet? Pla-toe and Sock-rates!
8. What is a foot's favourite candy? Men-toes.
9. What did the foot say to the football when they won the match? I toed you so!
10. What happens if you put your left shoe on the wrong foot? Well, it's actually on the right foot!
11. What is the most dangerous mountain in the world for your feet? Krakatoa!
12. A junior doctor is examining a patient when he notices a black inscription on his foot. He leans in to have a look and reads "Remember to take the temperature." He does, and is able to diagnose his patient. The junior doctor reports his actions to his supervisor, who says "I'm glad you remembered to read the footnotes."
13. Why isn't your nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot!
14. Why can't your two feet get along? Because they can't both be right!
15. What has four legs but no feet? A table!
16. What does someone with two left feet wear as shoes? Flip-flips!
17. What do you call a shoe made out of a banana? A slipper!
18. What kind of shoes do lazy people wear? Loafers!
19. What are a plumber's favorite type of shoes? Tap shoes!
20. Does your shoe have a hole in it? The answer from your audience will hopefully be no, to which you can reply "Well how did you put your foot in it then?"
21. Why couldn't the Colorado mountain hikers cross the footbridge? Because it had fallen arches!
22. What lies on the floor 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede.
23. What do you call a man with a plastic foot? Robert-oe!
24. How does an astronomer cut his toenails? Eclipse them!
25. Did I tell you about that time I fell in love whilst doing a backflip? I was completely heels over head!
26. Why does a circus clown wear loud socks? So his feet don't fall asleep.
27. How is 3+3=7 the same as your left foot? It's not right!
28. How hard was it for the shoe maker to manufacture clown shoes? It was no small feet!
29. What does a foot do to remember a special moment? He takes a pho-toe!
30. What material was the first ever shoe made out of? Wooden shoe like to know!
31. What do you call it when you put two slices of bread around your foot? A below-knee sandwich.
32. What is a foot's least favourite vegetable? Bunions!
No need for tickling your kids' feet, this list of the best feet puns is so hilarious it will make the whole family laugh out loud!
33. I accidentally cut off most of my foot, but thankfully it's almost all heeled.
34. I know someone who made a living from making wax replicas of celebrities' legs, but the other day he got arrested for counter-feet.
35. I used to work in a shoe recycling shop, it was really sole destroying.
36. I didn't think orthopedic shoes would help me, but I stand corrected.
37. I tried picking up the TV remote with my foot the other day, I guess my laziness really is getting out of hand.
38. I took a video of my new pair of shoes yesterday. I have just watched it back, and it really made for some excellent footage.
39. My doctor said he'd have me back on my feet in two weeks, and it's a good thing he did too because I had to sell my car to foot the bill!
40. I'm afraid I have to return my new shoes because they have terrible frequency. I put them on once and now my feet really hertz.
41. I was going to propose to my partner on the top of the ski hill, but I didn't in the end because I got cold feet.
42. I used to really hate my foot fungus, but now it's actually starting to grow on me.
43. People are always telling me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to really put my foot down.
44. A hopster is just a hipster who dropped something heavy on his foot.
45. On the 31 December at midnight, always make sure you lift your left foot up, that way you can start the new year on the right foot.
46. Foot injuries are always really serious because they take so long to heel.
47. The gingerbread man goes to the doctor and tells him he really hurt his foot. The doctor says "Have you tried icing it?"
48. I hate action figures with no feet, I really just can't stand them.
49. Always stay off lawns which have recently been fertilized, because you don't want to let grass grow under your feet.
50. And now people, it's time to foot your best foot forward!
51. Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you will be a mile away, and you will have their shoes!
The Best Toe Puns
If you're after a variant on the usual foot puns, try these one liners related to toes, they are toe-tally brilliant! By the way, did you know that toenails grow much more slowly than fingernails? Also, toe wrestling is a real sport; the aim of the game is to try and hold down your opponents' bare toes for three seconds.
52. I was driving behind an ambulance one day when a cooler fell off the back of it. I stopped, picked it up and opened it and found a foot inside. Naturally, I called a toe-truck.
53. My baby dropped some of her food on her foot, I guess she really wanted to try the avocado toes that everyone goes on about.
54. I met the perfect partner, but sadly they had no feet so I had to break up with them: you see, I am lack toes intolerant.
55. I've spent years developing the first ever foot-manipulated keyboard, now here is my first pro-toe-type.
56. I'm waiting for news from my doctor to see if I have athlete's foot; I've been waiting so long, I'm constantly on my toes.
57. I dropped a dictionary on my foot the other day, and I woke up the next morning with a thesaurus toe.
58. If athletes get athlete's foot, then surely soldiers get missile toe.
59. I was trying shoes on but one pair was a size too small, so my feet got toe-tally stuck!
60. I love your shoes, they are toe-riffic!
61. What do cheetahs have on their feet? Chee-toes!
62. What is the condition called when all of your toes go to sleep? Coma-toes!
63. What do you call the condition when your toes smell really badly? Hali-toe-sis!
64. Why did the opera singer only sing songs about feet? She was an all-toe singer!
65. What did the cell say when his sister stepped on his foot? Ow, mitosis!
66. I was drawing a picture of a foot, and it looks exactly like a real one, I toe-tally nailed it!
67. What do you call a man who got stung on his foot? Toe-bee!
Broken Foot Puns
If you think injuries are no joke, think again! These broken foot jokes are bound to make you crack up. You could also tell them as broken toe jokes if you like!
68. What do you call a frog with a broken foot? Un-hoppy!
69. Where does the dog go when it has a broken foot? The paw-diatrist!
70. I broke my foot and went in for a routine surgery, but I left the hospital with two fewer limbs: it cost an arm and a leg!
71. I was at home with my parents while I recovered from a broken foot. One day, after six months, my dad came home and told me it was time to leave. He wanted me to stand on my own two feet, but I told him I needed time to heel!
Big Foot Jokes
This list of the best jokes about Big Foot will blow your mind! If you love big feet jokes, you will love these.
72. How does Big Foot find his way through the deepest darkest forests? He just follows the big footpath!
73. How is Big Foot so good at rock climbing? He always finds the biggest footholds.
This collection of puns and jokes is ideal for any foot doctors in your life.
74. What is a podiatrist's favourite Olympic event? Arch-ery!
75. What is a podiatrist's favourite dessert? Tirami-shoe!
76. I dated my podiatrist for a little while, but it didn't work out and we broke up. I guess we weren't sole mates after all!
77. What does one podiatrist say to the other at a convention? Nice toe meet you!
78. What is the difference between a chef and a podiatrist? One feels the heat while the other heals the feet!
79. I called my podiatrist's practice to get an appointment, but they only do limp-ins!
80. The podiatrist is really mean with his money, when he is out for dinner with friends he never wants to foot the bill.
81. Why do podiatrists never have any friends? Because when they meet someone, they always get off on the wrong foot.
82. Why can't the podiatrist convert numbers into metric? He can only work in feet!
83. My dad was a podiatrist, and so am I. I guess I followed in his footsteps!
84. My podiatrist is eager to change his career, I think she is getting itchy feet.
85. The sole reason I fell in love with my husband is because he is a podiatrist.
86. Why did the two podiatrists hate each other? Because they were arch enemies!
87. Being a podiatrist is a very challenging career, you always need to be thinking on your feet.
88. My podiatrist always tells me the truth straight up, he never does any toe-ing around.
89. It's really easy to learn podiatry, you just have to make sure you read all the footnotes in the manual.
Smelly Feet Puns
These are the best smelly feet jokes out there, they are so good they are going to take your breath away! Here is a stinky fact for you: there actually exists a Guinness World Record for the highest number of feet and armpits smelled by a single person at any one time. Yuck, we definitely do not envy that person!
90. Did you ever hear the joke about the gym socks? You don't want to, it stinks.
91. How does Mary Poppins cure smelly feet? She tells you to step in thyme!
92. Who do giraffes have long necks? Because they have smelly feet!
Animal Feet Puns
Palms, hooves, paws, ... Animal feet are a great source of foot puns and foot jokes! Why not see if you can find a foot pun about your favorite animal on the list below?
93. It's really easy to surprise a duck, they're often caught flat footed.
94. Why do ducks have small feet? To stomp out small fires. And why do elephants have big feet? To stomp out burning ducks!
95. Did you know alligators can grow up to 22 feet? Most of the time, they just grow four though.
96. Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
97. Always keep fish away from your feet, they are known to be ankle biters.
98. What does a frog wear on its feet? Open toad shoes.
99. What shoes do you put on your pet's feet? Dog martins!
100. Why do elephants paint their toenails red? So they can hide in a cherry tree!
101. What do you call a penguin who can't dance? Unhappy feet!
102. Why do polar bears never get married? Because they always get cold feet.
103. What did the dog say to his podiatrist when he received his diagnosis? Nothing, there was an uncomfortable paws!
Feet and legs are arguably the most important part of running, and that is why running is a great provider of foot puns! Share these with any keen runners in your family and you will be sure to earn lots of laughs!
104. If you want to run a race but you wear the wrong shoes, you will suffer the agony of de-feet.
105. That runner is seriously impressive, he just accomplished a great feet.
106. The runner was getting a little anxious about swimming his first laps, he was just getting his feet wet.
107. I am getting more confident with my running, I've really found my feet.
108. Why was the runner afraid to leave his home? He was not sure if he could stand on his own two feet!
109. I fell in love with a runner; I knew he was the one for me from the moment he swept me off my feet.
110. Why do runners constantly have itchy feet? They are prone to having athlete's foot!
Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes, puns and riddle for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for over 100 foot puns that are sure to tickle you, then why not take a look at these great bone puns that are very 'humerus', or for something different take a look at these 74 Great Dairy Puns That Aren't Too Cheesy.
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