FOR ALL AGES

64 Fruit Jokes That The Whole Family Will Enjoy

Funny pineapple party: pineapples wearing sunglasses and party hats with balloons around them.

Image © Unsplash.

Everyone loves some fresh fruit, and these jokes are just as juicy!

Any parent will know that fruit is great for many reasons. Not only is it an important part of our diet, but it is also a healthy snack that most kids actually love!

But we bet you didn't know just how funny it can be as well! With orange jokes, one liners about fruit and juicy berry puns these funny fruit jokes for kids have the whole family in bits.

Apple Jokes

Little girl standing in front o an apple tree holding up two apples to her eyes making a silly face.

An apple a day keeps the doctor away but one of these apple puns will have him coming back for more!

1) What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm!

2) How do you make an apple turnover? You push it down the hill!

3) What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!

4) Why don't robots like apples? They're androids!

5) Why did the worm leave the apple? Because Noah said to travel in pairs!

6) Why is it so difficult to work at an apple pie factory? They have such a high turnover rate!

7) What do you get when you put an iPhone in a blender? Apple juice!

8) What do you get when you cross apple pie with a Christmas tree? Pineapple pie!

9) Why did the apple pie cross the road? It saw a fork up ahead!

10) Why did the apple pie go to the dentist! Because it needed a filling!

Orange Jokes

Oranges hanging on the branch of a tree.
Image © Thomas Vogel on Unsplash

These funny fruit puns will squeeze your heart!

11) Why did the man get fired from the orange juice factory? He just couldn't concentrate!

12) Last night I dreamt I was swimming in an ocean of orange lemonade, it was a Fanta-sea!

13) Why are oranges the fastest fruit? They never run out of juice!

14) I just found out I'm colourblind... That diagnosis came completely out of the orange!

15) I've got a great idea for an orange peeling machine, I hope it bears fruit!

16) Orange is a great fruit, it's citrically acclaimed!

17) Why do oranges wear sun cream? Because their skin peels!

18) How many marmalade sandwiches did Paddington Bear eat? None, he's already stuffed!

19) What kind of monkey doesn't eat bananas? An orangutan!

20) Why do oranges do so well in school? They concentrate!

Berry Jokes

Various boxes of berries.
Image © Alex Block on Unsplash

Kids will love these berry funny strawberry puns and fruit one liners!

21) What do you call a bunch of strawberries playing instruments together? A jam session!

22) Which fruit always feels sad? A blue-berry!

23) Why can't you make a crumble with 3.14 blackberries? Because that would be a pie!

24) How do you fix a broken berry? With a strawberry patch!

25) A lorry full of berries crashed on the motorway, it's created a huge jam!

26) What's a scarecrow's favourite fruit! Straw-berries!

27) I went to the doctor because I had a strawberry growing out of my ear, he gave me some cream for it!

28) How did the fruit basket get across the lake? They took the straw-ferry!

29) What was Prince's favourite dessert? Raspberry sorbet!

30) Why are grapes always so unhappy, they've got nothing to wine about!

Lemon Jokes

Crate of bright yellow lemons with stickers on.
Image © Daniel Kim on Unsplash

Any one of these lemon and lime puns will make even the most sour of people smile!

31) What do you give a sick lemon? Lemon-Aid!

32) What do you call a cat who eats lemons? A sourpuss!

33) Where do baby citrus fruits go to learn? A lemon tree school!

34) What does a lemon say when it wants a hug? Give us a squeeze!

35) Lemons and limes fight all the time, they are bitter rivals!

36) I went to the shop today to get lemons and limes but they didn't have any. It was a fruitless trip!

37) What did the lemon say to the lime? Sour you doing?!

38) Why did the lemon cross the road? He wanted to play squash!

39) Why did the lemon go to the doctor? He was feeling sour!

Apricot, Nectarine And Peach Jokes

Pile of juicy peaches.
Image © Eric Prouzet on Unsplash

All peach fans will love these pit-iful jokes about fruit!

40) What did the fruit say when he was surprised for his birthday? Wow... I'm s-peach-less!

41) Where do baby apes go to sleep? In an apricot!

42) What is Dracula's favourite fruit? Neck-tarines!

43) What do you call the time in-between eating a load of peaches? A pit stop!

44) Did you hear about the fruit that gave people a warm fuzzy feeling? It was a real peach!

45) What pie did the scientists use for their experiment? A peach tree dish!

46) Why were the chefs shaving peaches? Because they needed nectarines for the recipe!

47) Why was the peach late to work? He had to make a pit stop on the way!

48) What did the pitted fruit say when he got in a fight? You want a peach of me?!

49) What do you call a piece of art made by a fruit? A masterpeach!

Tomato Jokes

Red and green tomatoes ripening on the vine.
Image © Dan Gold on Unsplash

Here today gone tomato, these next five kids jokes about fruit are super funny!

50) What did the fruit say to his valentine? I love you from my head tomato!

51) What did the daddy tomato say when his child was falling behind on their walk? Ketchup!

52) Why did the tomato go to the ball with a prune? Because he couldn't find a date!

53) How do you fix a broken tomato? Use tomato paste!

54) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad!

Tropical Fruit Jokes

Two boys lying on their stomachs in the grass, holding up watermelon wedges as smiles.

Any tropical fruit fan will love these juicy exotic fruit and watermelon jokes.

55) Why did the cantaloupe jump into the swimming pool? He wanted to be a watermelon!

56) A guy kept trying to sell me tropical fruit. I told him mango!

57) What did the watermelon say to the cantaloupe? You're one in a melon!

58) You may think I'm crazy for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches but hey, that's just Hawaii roll!

59) What do you call a snake made out of pineapple? Ananas-conda!

Fruit Knock Knock Jokes

A bunch of bananas with googly eyes and coloured beads stuck on for noses.
Image © Diane Alkier on Unsplash

These kinds of fruit puns will make your day much sweeter!

60) Knock knock.

Who's there?

Figs.

Figs who?

Figs the doorbell, it's broken!


61) Knock knock.

Who's there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive you. Do you love me too?


62) Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you going to let me in?


63) Knock knock.

Who's there?

Orange.

Orange who?

Orange you glad to see me?


64) Knock knock.

Who's there?

Bean.

Bean who?

Bean a while since I've seen you!

Author

Written By

Megan Wynne

Living in Dublin, Megan is passionate about all things creative. Currently studying Art in university, when she’s not experimenting with paint and photography you can find her in the cinema enjoying the newest films. She loves spending time with her two younger sisters, exploring nature and finding fun things to do in the city.

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