Long jokes with a twist are the best type of long jokes.
The longest jokes will often go on till the next morning, but they are some of the funniest ever. Long pointless jokes and long-winded jokes are quite popular on the internet.
The best long jokes include funny long stories, really long jokes with no punchline, long story jokes with long setups, and great story jokes. You might also include funny paragraph jokes and narrative jokes for some variation. So, without any further looong wait, let's go through this best selection of the funniest long jokes for kids and adults alike.
Clean And Funny Long Jokes
Here's a great list of some of the best jokes that are long. You might find a really long joke with no punchline here, but these jokes are hilarious and could easily be your joke of the day.
1. My friend once called a few house painters to his house for some work. He wanted them to paint his porch. After a few hours, the house painters came back for the payment as their work was complete. Before leaving they told my friend that they had enjoyed painting his car, but it is not really a Porsche.
2. There is a skeleton in our neighborhood who always knows that something bad might happen way before it actually happens. He has actually become quite famous and when a TV crew interviewed about the reason behind this ability, the skeleton finally disclosed his secret: he could feel the bad vibes in his bones.
3. I had visited a cafe one day with my friends. The waiter recommended that we try their special coffee. We agreed and soon the coffee arrived. As we drink the coffee, we realized that it tastes like dirt and mud. Disgusted by the fact, all of us complained immediately. The alarmed waiter rushes over and says, "Well Sir, it was freshly ground coffee!"
4. A family was having dinner once when the youngest boy asked his father whether worms tasted nice when we eat them. Both the parents reprimanded the little boy and told him that these things shouldn't be discussed over the dinner table. When the father asked the boy after dinner why he had asked such a question, he replied, "Papa, I think worms taste okay because there was one in your noodles."
5. After Sunday church, the priest would hand us each an orange and a big cookie. A little girl once lied and took two oranges, but the priest told her she mustn't lie because God is watching. Then, the girl took two cookies and lied about it. When asked why she had done that, she said because she thought that God was only watching oranges.
6. Once during an adventure, a farmer named Bryan Clay stumbled into a cave and found a magic lamp. Upon rubbing the lamp, a Genie appeared and asked him what his wish was. The farmer told him that he wished he were very rich. The Genie said okay and asked him, "Alright Mr Very Rich Clay, what is your second wish?"
7. I went to this haunted house for exploration. It was near the forest so the local guide warned me that I might find some animals there. Sure enough, there was a panda. When I offered it some food, I was taken aback because it suddenly started talking. Turned out that it was a ghost panda and it only ate bam-booooo!
8. As a group of robbers entered the bank, their leader went to the manager and asked him to open the vault. He threatened the manager by saying, "If you try to do anything smart, you're fiction." The manager was confused and asked him, "Don't you mean 'You are history'?" The robber angrily replied back, "Do not change the subject, okay?"
9. I was in the library once when a man walked in asking for some ham and cheese. The librarian politely told him that he was in a library. The man first apologized and then whispered to the librarian, "Can I please have some ham and cheese?"
10. I was in my garden when I got the news that my father had fallen from a 20 feet ladder and was in the hospital. I rushed to the hospital expecting that my father had some major fractures, but he was alright except for some minor cuts. When I told him that it was a miracle, he disagreed and told me, "Son, I had just fallen from the first step of the ladder."
11. After a prolonged drought when the rain came, all the animals in the forest were happy except the Kangaroo. When the others asked him what the reason was for such sadness, the Kangaroo revealed that the rain meant that all its kids would now be playing inside.
12. I was visiting the house of a distant cousin when I saw that he was playing chess with his cat. I said that it had to be the most intelligent cat ever. My cousin replied, "Absolutely not! She has lost all her matches!"
13. My brother came back from school all motivated because he said he would be following a new diet from that day. We didn't really give it much thought until my brother really started eating his homework for dinner. When we stopped him and asked why he was doing that, he replied, "I was just trying to see how it tasted because my teacher said that the homework would be a piece of cake for me."
Best Story Jokes That Are Hilarious
Apart from being good jokes, stories can make a person really invested in reaching the conclusion of the jokes. Here's a long list of the best and funny story jokes for kids that will always make an adult smile too. These joke stories for kids will be very handy when you need to cheer up your child.
14. In my neighborhood, there was a couple who had given their twin sons very weird names. One was named Trouble, while the other boy's name was Mind Your Own Business. So, one day they were playing hide and seek. Mind Your Business counted to a hundred and then started looking for his brother. But, somehow he couldn't find him anywhere. He saw a police car passing the neighborhood, so he stopped it to ask for help. When the police officer asked him for his name, he replied, "Mind Your Own Business!" Feeling insulted, the police officer still asked politely who he was looking for. Mind Your Own Business replied, "I am looking for Trouble!"
15. The historians had gathered for a party in Cairo after they had discovered a new mummy. The discovered mummy, on display at the party hall, suddenly woke up. Seeing the historians alarmed, the mummy said that he just wanted to listen to some music. The mummy said, "Please don't play jazz because my trom-bones are in a very bad shape. Could someone please put on some wrap music?"
16. A food critic visits a local restaurant to review its food for the town magazine. The owner welcomes him and shows him to the table. The food is presented to him and after a while, the critic calls the owner to say that there is something missing in his bowl of soup. The owner asks whether it is too spicy or sweet or salty. When the food critic says no, the owner decides to taste the soup himself but he can't find the spoon. "Yeah," says the critic, "that's what is missing."
17. I was once passing through a town in England when this lady stopped me because she needed help fixing her car that had broken down. As I was fixing the car, the lady would cross the road and shout "Hello" at me. This happened a few times as the lady found it really amusing. I would have thought that it was very weird had I not realized that it was the singer Adele.
18. For a high school dance, the head boy asked out the girl he liked. To get flowers for her, he had to stand in a line outside the florist for an hour. To make things worse, he had to wait another hour in a line outside the tuxedo shop. Finally, he goes to the dance with the girl. The girl wanted to have some apple punch so the boy went to get it, but to his surprise, there was no punch line.
19. I was in a barbershop when a man and his young son walked in to get a haircut. The man asked the barber to give his son a haircut while he shopped for groceries nearby. The barber finished giving the haircut but there was no sign of the father. An hour passed, two hours passed. We finally asked the son where his father was. The boy shocked us by saying, "That man was not my father. He just told me that if I wanted to get a free haircut at the barbershop, I should come with him."
20. Once, a mosquito walked into a clinic. The doctor saw him and asked him what the matter was. The mosquito said that he had a lot of problems. He was not happy with his life, he was not happy with the job he was doing. He was sad and had no motivation. The doctor listened to his problems and told him that he should really visit a therapist instead of a doctor. The mosquito replied, "Yeah, I know. I just came in because of the blood."
Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly Jokes, Puns, and Riddles for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Long Jokes then why not take a look at British Jokes or Corny Jokes.
At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents.
We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family.
Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability.
Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.
Sponsorship & Advertising Policy
Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising.
We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. This does not influence our choices. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published.
Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.
We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content.