Milk, whether regular, almond, soy, oat or other, is consumed world-wide; its appeal is universal.
Whether drunk cold as a refreshing drink, added to dishes or creamy puddings or used in your hot drinks, milk is an important part of our diets. And thanks to its well-loved nature, it's also just the thing to raise a smile with a word perfect pun.
Over the course of a year the average cow will produce 350,000 glasses of the white stuff. But, there's always room for improvement. One study found that cows who listened to relaxing music were able to produce more milk than their non-musical cow-nterparts. Yoghurt to be kidding me!
If you don't like milk is it a cream against nature? Let's find out with these cheesy chuckles.
1. Did you hear about the scandal at the dairy factory? They were skimming a bit off the top.
2. A stampede at the dairy farm would result in udder chaos.
3. A man attacked me with cream, butter and milk. How dairy.
4. The dairy farmer couldn't find his way home last night. He completely lost his whey.
Whether it's almond milk puns or funny one-liners about soy milk we've got you covered. After all not everyone is a fan of milk. Vegans and vegetarians these one-liners are for you.
5. I love almond milk. It's unlike any udder milk.
6. My cousin loves milk from Spain. She's always drinking soy milk.
7. You should never give milk to someone who is open minded and hasn't yet had breakfast. They're lack-toast and tolerant.
8. What if soy milk is just regular milk that's trying to introduce itself in Spanish?
9. The hardest thing about going vegan is milking the almonds.
11. My pet cow thinks she produces almond milk. She must be nuts.
Cow Themed Milk One Liners
From milkshake puns to animal-themed lines these cow themed word play will a-moo-se you.
12. Did you hear about the dairymaid who broke her leg in the cow's pen? She was milking it.
13. Cows have hooves instead of feet because they lactose.
14. My friend is always trying to make cows nervous. She's a fan of milkshakes.
15. The milk didn't like my last joke. He wasn't a-moo-sed.
16. Cow to the milk: 'I am your father'.
17. I sent my cows to bed at 8pm last night. I told them 'it's pasteur bedtime'.
18. My herd of cows always confuse me. I can't milk head nor tail of them.
19. I bought a dwarf cow yesterday. I just fancied some condensed milk.
20. I wasn't able to milk my cow yesterday. It was an udder failure.
21. I'm worried that the milk I got this morning was from a cloned cow. It tasted exactly like the milk I had yesterday.
22. Of course, some puns are better than udders.
Funny Milk Related Puns
No milk pun has been missed! We've gathered together our final selection of funnies here.
23. The doctor advised I tried a milk bath. I asked if it needs to be pasteurized. No, just above the knees she replied.
24. I replaced the milk in the carton with lemon juice. Everyone was really sour about it.
25. I love milk when it's churned. It's butter that way.
26. Milk is the fastest drink on the planet. It's pasteurized before you even see it.
27. I waited over an hour for my cappuccino and when it arrived there was too much milk and not enough coffee. Still, better latte than never.
28. The spoiled milk always got what it wanted.
29. Milk aliens have landed. They said 'take me to your litre'.
30. The thing about milk-inspired puns is you only reach 2% of their potential.
31. Spoiler alert! The milk's gone off.
32. I'm not saying you're old, but if you were milk I'd sniff you first.
33. I'd tell you a joke about milk but it's whey too cheesy.
34. I can't drink milk. I lactose genes required to digest it.
35. I went into the library and asked for pint of milk. The librarian said 'this is a library'. So i whispered 'I'd like a pint of milk please'.
36. Astronauts can't open milk bottles in space. 'In space, no one can. Here, use cream'.
37. I thought I'd have some evaporated milk on my pudding. But when I opened it, it was empty.
38. I introduced chocolate to milk. They did a chocolate milk shake.
39. My dad landed a new job at the dairy. He's the cow-ordinator.
40. Angry cows are usually to blame for the sour milk.
At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents.
We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family.
Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability.
Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.
Sponsorship & Advertising Policy
Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising.
We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. If you purchase using the buy now button we may earn a small commission. This does not influence our choices. Please note: prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published.
Kidadl has a number of affiliate partners that we work with including Amazon. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to amazon.
We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content.