50 Nurse Puns: Because Laughter Is The Best Medicine

Life of a nursing student is not easy, but we've got jokes and puns to make it easier.
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Nurses are important and essential health care professionals who take care of the patients and try to ensure they recover safely.

Nursing is a popular profession in the health care sector. It has many courses, like primary, advanced, and specialized courses.

Nurses can be found not only in hospitals, but also in clinics, laboratories, and emergency rooms. Nursing has forever been considered one of the oldest professions on this planet as human beings always need someone to take care of their illnesses and ailments. Ancient history suggests nurses were present when the great wars took place where nurses cared for the injured and fallen warriors. Florence Nightingale or 'The Lady With The Lamp' is considered as the founder of modern nursing.

We have cure-ated a list here of funny nurse puns. If you are looking for funny nurse character names along with these puns, here are some of the best punny names - Sister De'Ath, Nurse Payne, and Sister IVy.

If you are interested in more such puns and jokes, check out these articles:  71 Doctor Puns That Are Medically Hilarious  and 115 Medical Puns That Will Have You Aching With Laughter.

Funny Student Nurse Puns

Staying at home, getting bored? Scroll through our jokes and puns and B+.

Here we've got some funny nurse puns and nursing puns to get you through a boring holiday at home.

1. The first time I met with my wife was when she was a student nurse. We met for a casual tea!

2. The young student nurse is known for casting a wide range of spells to treat her patients. I think she is a curse practitioner!

3. After suffering an accident, I was taken to the hospital. The student nurse wanted to stitch my hand, but I refused, so she angrily retorted, "Suture self!".

4. The invisible man was hurt in an accident, so he went to the hospital. As it was packed with patients, the student nurse said that she can't see him now!

5. The student nurse had her first day at the hospital. When a man with a gashed leg was brought to her, the nurse said in wonder, "Ohh gauze"!

6. I took my daughter to get her vaccines, and I saw a very nervous young student nurse. I told her to relax and give it her best shot!

7. My sister is a nurse at the state hospital. She told me that during her student days, the senior nurses told her to walk very slowly past the medicine cabinet so as not to wake the sleeping pills!

Best Nurses Puns To Suture Your Wounds

Tell these jokes when nurses draw blood and make the room a bit lighter.

This is the list of some of the best and funny nurse puns and some nurse name puns for you.

8. Nurses are very weird and always answer in a negative way. I told my registered nurse friend to stay safe during this pandemic, she just replied, "You stay negative".

9. The only reason why nurses always carry red-colored pens or crayons with them is because they like to draw blood!

10. The surgical team was performing a very serious transplant operation. They tried a lot but couldn't do anything. The nurse had to inform the family as the doctor didn't have the heart to tell them.

11. Before my surgery, the nurse asked me for an emergency contact number. I told her: "It's 911."

12. The nurse who drew my blood at the hospital kept persuading me that my blood was type B, but I am pretty sure that it was a Type O!

13. The favorite element of the periodic table for all nurses is Healium!

14. No matter how much they wanted, TLC will never be allowed to be nurses. The sole reason being they don't want no scrubs!

15. During the surgery, the nurse told the expecting father that she would deliver the child. The bemused father replied that he would want his kid with the liver!

16. My wife is a nurse. When I had to woo her, I had to be patient!

17. Boxers and nurses have a very special bond amongst themselves. They always know how and when to stick and move!

18. A nurse and a soldier stepped into a hospital together. The soldier claimed that he was supposed to report there, but the nurse made him understand that he was at a different front line!

19. A patient called up a hospital to book an appointment with the doctor. When the nurse wanted to know which doctor the patient would visit, the patient exclaimed that any doctor would do barring a witch doctor!

20. My wife, who is a nurse, was talking me through her stressful day of following the national health protocols. I was trying to be supportive so I said, "WHO are they to tell you what to do!"

21. The funniest thing about transplant nurses is that they cannot stand rejection!

22. When the father of the girl who swallowed ten quarters enquired about her health, the nurse replied, "No change as of now".

23. I was once admitted to the hospital after I broke my leg. The room was very dark, so the nurse switched on the light and said, "Now, the doctor will see you".

24. A very nervous patient was admitted to get a blood transfusion at the blood bank. The female nurse told her not to worry and B+!

25. Names are often weird and hilarious. My sister's best friend is a nurse, and one of her sole jobs is inserting tubes in patients. Her name is Catherine!

26. The alligator was badly injured while fighting a shark, so he visited the jungle hospital. The nurse immediately brought him gator-aid!

27. When one nurse gave the other nurse a list of names of organ donors sorted in alphabetical order, the second nurse teased, "Wow, these are so organized".

28. I once needed saline, so I was hospitalized. The nurse gave an I.V. drip, but it turned out that the drip had expired. I think the nurse gave me a poison I.V.

29. Once, a man visited a hospital where none of the nurses checked on him. Finally, a female nurse came and told him that she was sorry for the delay. The man calmly replied, "It's fine, I'm patient".  

30. The nurse badly wanted to pursue her career as a stand-up comedian. In one of the comedy shows, she literally left everyone in the stitches!

31. The hospital in our town once ran a shortage of maternity nurses. It was an absolute midwife crisis!

32. One day, Thor was taking care of his sick brother, Loki. He was trying to norse him back to life.

33. A snail went to the hospital when it felt sick. The nurse gave the dehydrated, poor animal a snailine solution.

34. My wife is a cardio nurse. Whenever I go out to dinner with her, I can literally feel my heart racing all the time!

35. In the hospital, the young nurse constantly wanted to check on the patient that had a bad staph infection. So the doctor asked her as to why she was so abscess-ed with the patient.

36. Nurses use a social technique to know if their patient is lying to them or not. They use the help of a device known as a de-FIB-rillator!

Puns About Hospitals, Doctors, And Nurses

Here, you'll find all kinds of doctor and nurse puns, medical puns that'll make you go rolling on the floor laughing.

37. Nurses often have the best job in a hospital. They become the coolest person in the building when taking charge of the ultrasound duties!

38. A friend of mine is a doctor. He became a dermatologist as he took many rash decisions in life!  

39. A patient was administered in the hospital for check-ups. However, during the examination, he kept lying, but the guy in charge of the X-ray machine saw right through him!

40. The patient who was in the hospital woke up coughing. The nurse checked and said it could be pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis, but then it is quite a hard thing to say at first!

41. My brother has wanted to be an osteopath ever since he was a kid. I think he felt it in his bones.

42. I once had an eye disorder and was admitted to the hospital. I told the nurse that I could often see things changing colors. The nurse reassured me by saying it was just a pigment of my own imagination!

43. I wanted to get my x-ray done at the nearest hospital, but then I had to wait for days to get it done. Apparently, the hospital had a skeleton staff to do the work!

44. The doctor took a look at my arm's x-ray and started laughing loudly. When I asked him the reason for his laughter, he said that he found it humerus!

45. The state hospital had great wifi in the infectious diseases ward. I think it was probably because it was a hot spot!

46. The hospital in my town has a special unit where patients usually read aloud 'Auld Lang Syne', 'A Red, Red Rose', and other similar poems. I think it is definitely the Burns unit!

47. The little kid badly wanted to play hide and seek at the hospital, but his parents always found him in the ICU!

48. My brother is a dermatologist. He wanted to start his career again, so he restarted it from scratch!

49. The window decided to pay a visit to his house physician as he was in a lot of pane!

50. The nurse visited the library of the hospital to take notes on her anatomy lessons. As soon as she took the book, she noticed that someone had taken the appendix out!

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Nurse Puns, then why not take a look at 90+ Blood Puns That Aren't In Vein, or for something different take a look at 79 Best Moon Puns That Eclipse All Others.

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Disclaimer

At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents.

We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family.

Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability.

Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.

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