30+ Pen Puns That Are Pen-fully Funny

A group of kids laugh as they read pen puns together.

Now the nights are starting to draw in and the weather is cooling down, you might be preparing to spend a bit more time indoors.

But sometimes, too much time in close proximity to their siblings can lead to tears, so from indoor camping to energetic exercise ideas, Kidadl are here to help keep the whole family happy and entertained. To keep everyone laughing, why not try a few funnies from this hilarious list of pen-related puns?

Pen Puns

Have a write good laugh with these puns about pens.

1. Why do nurses need a red pen? Because they might need to draw blood!

2. What do you call a penguin without a pen? A guin!

3. Why did Old McDonald call his pig ink? Because he kept running out of the pen!

4. What did the little pen say to the big pen when he was trying to make a friend? Will you be my pen-pal?

5. What are the rules that pens live by? The Pen Commandments!

6. How did the pen act when he went on holiday to Italy? Pen in Rome, do as the Romans do!

7. What is a pen's favourite hobby? Pen-Pin Bowling!

8. Why didn't the pen move? Because it was stationery!

9. Why are pens the toughest stationery in the jail? Because they always do long sentences!

10. Why can you never rely on a pen?  Because they run out when you need them most!

11. What do you call it when a pen loses its head? De-cap-itation!

12. I was the victim of a serious crime, when a man held a pen to my throat and demanded my purse and jewellery. I was robbed at ballpoint!

13. Where do pens go after they've committed a crime? The pen-itentiary!

14. What are the magic words a pen says to open a locked door? O-pen sesame!

15. Do you know who won when the Pencil Football Club played against the Pen Football Club? Neither, it was a draw!

16. Why did the pen have to go out for a run? To work off his pen-t up energy!

17. What do you get when you cross a pen with water? A fountain!

18. I bought a new pen that can write underwater! And it can write lots of other words, too!

19. What do you call a selfish pen? Ink-onsiderate!

20. I played a prank on my friend and put super glue on his fountain pen. It’s been a year and he's still mad: he just can’t let it go!

A young girl smiles at her computer screen as she reads pen puns.

Pencil Puns

Get straight to the point with these hilarious pencil related gags.  

21. Why was the pencil so smelly? Because it was a number two!

22. What did the pen say when he was arguing with the pencil? Errr, so what's your point!

23. Why can you never rely on a pencil? Because they snap under pressure!

24. One day, I was writing a letter when my pencil broke. I tried my best to finish, but it was pointless!

25. I just got engaged to a pencil. I can't wait for my parents to come and meet my bride 2B!

26. Where do pencils travel on vacation? To Pencil-vania!

27. Why can you never trust a pencil? They're sketchy!

28. What did the pencil say to the fastest cowboy in the West? Draw!

29. Who is in charge of the pencil case? The ruler!

30. What do you call a pencil without an end? A pen!

31. William Shakespeare wrote some of his best work whilst deciding which pencil to use: 2B or not 2B?!

32. Why was the blunt pencil so bad at making speeches? It never had a point!



At Kidadl we pride ourselves on offering families original ideas to make the most of time spent together at home or out and about, wherever you are in the world. We strive to recommend the very best things that are suggested by our community and are things we would do ourselves - our aim is to be the trusted friend to parents.

We try our very best, but cannot guarantee perfection. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family.

Kidadl provides inspiration to entertain and educate your children. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate and suitable for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability.

Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.

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