34 'Red Green Show' Quotes From The Canadian Comedy Series

The movie 'Duct Tape Forever' (2002) was based on 'The Red Green Show' and was low-budget
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Smith initially made Red Green's personality for his 1979–1985 sketch parody arrangement 'Smith and Smith'.

The sketch was a spoof of the long-running Canadian outdoor show. Called 'The Red Fisher Show' (1968–1989), the series starred B.H. "Red" Fisher and would feature different guests.

In the usual episode, Red and the rest would show quiet movies of their fishing trips with critique at "Gossip Lodge". The character additionally showed up in 'Me And Max' and 'The Comedy Mill' before turning into the focal point of his own arrangement.

'The Red Green Show' cast includes Red Green (leader of Possum Lodge), Harold Green (Red's nephew), Dalton Humphrey (Red's best friend), Mike Hamar (a career criminal), Winston Rothschild III (owner of Rothschild's Sewage and Septic Sucking Services), Bill Smith, Ranger Gord (local forest ranger), Edgar Montrose (Possum Lodge's explosives enthusiast), Hap Shaughnessy (water-taxi captain), Ed Frid (an animal control officer), Buzz Sherwood (local bush pilot), Bob Stuyvesant (worker at Ministry of Natural Resources), Glen Brackston (an employee of Brackston's Marina), Dwight Cardiff, Dougie Franklin (an American immigrant who drives a huge monster truck), Arnie Dogan (accident-prone roofer), Kevin Black (yuppie developer), and Charlie Farquharson (charter member) as the main characters of 'The Red Green Show'.

Let's have a look at quotes from the show. After reading this, do also read our Tobias Funke quotes and Monica Geller quotes.

Great 'Red Green Show' Quotes

"This is a love song, more or less for my wife. She's the best thing." is one of the best poems quote from the show. Let us have a look at few other quotes from the season of the show, including 'Red Green Show' duct tape quotes.

1. "Spare the duct tape, spoil the job."

- Red Green.

2. "Bow your heads for the men's prayer. (group recites)"

- Red Green.

3. "(looking at the glass of wine) Yeah, the weather channel said it's supposed to clear up later."

- Red Green.

4. "Keep your stick on the ice."

- Red Green.

5. "We hold these two pieces together using the handyman's secret weapon, duct tape."

- Red Green.

6. "You know, it looks a little cloudy."

- Red Green.

7. "If women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy."

- Red Green.

8. "(opening line of each Repair Shop segment) If it ain't broke, you're not trying."

- Red Green.

9. "(closing line of each Mid-Life Musings segment) Remember, I'm pulling for you. We're all in this together."

- Red Green.

10. "(Reciting the "Men's Prayer") I'm a man, but I can change, If I have to, I guess."

- Red Green.

Famous 'Red Green Show' Quotes

'The Red Green Show' aired from September 1998 to 7 August 2017, on The Comedy Network. 'Red Green Show' was so popular at that time, so here are some of The Red Green quotes for you.

The Red Green Show won for Best Performance in a Comedy Program or Series in 1998.

11. "If a person could find a better way to kill bugs, they would not only get rich, they'd probably get a lot more dates."

- Red Green.

12. "(trying to unscrew a jar of nitroglycerin) It would work better if that finger wasn't missing."

- Red Green.

13. "(preparing to go forward with a handyman project) Sound ingenious? Sound incredible? Sound impossible? Who cares? I'm not listening."

- Red Green.

14. "It is spring. Tadpoles swim in a stagnant pond, surrounded by floating lilies and water snakes."

- Red Green.

15. "Men need to replace the phrase 'Hey, watch this', with 'Where are my glasses?' and 'Where are my other glasses?' and 'I'm going to take a nap.'

- Red Green.

16. "You ever see one of these? It's called a GPS, which stands for - well, who cares?"

- Red Green.

17. "I prefer to figure out whose fault it is and let them take care of it."

- Red Green.

18. "Remember, you may have to grow old, but you don't have to mature."

- Red Green.

19. "You're tempted to destroy their world with men and equipment, to dry up the swamp and kill the animals."

- Red Green.

20. "The only thing Junior Singleton reads cover to cover is a matchbook."

- Red Green.

21. "Apparently the water in Possum Lake has just been declared okay for human consumption."

- Red Green.

Funny 'Red Green Show' Quotes

There were 15 seasons of the show which made the audience laugh, entertain, and taught meaningful things too.

Here are a few funny quotes from 'The Red Green Show' for you.

22. "Okay, you got new neighbors moving in down the street. They look okay from a distance."

- Red Green.

23. "Vehicles don't belong in the Middle Ages anyway. Except maybe for Buster's Edsel."

- Red Green.

23. "Guys don't like to ask anybody for help. Women think it's because it makes us look weak, but that's not it."

- Red Green.

24. "All it takes is a little imagination, some mechanical ability, and neighbors who mind their own business."

- Red Green.

25. "You don't want to argue with anyone larger than your van."

- Red Green.

26. "Every mall has three things the same: clothes, stores, and benches for the husbands to sit on."

- Red Green.

27. "When the going gets tough, switch to power tools."

- Red Green.

28. "(singing) When life gets you down and you can't wait to die / when the slightest contusion puts tears in your eyes / Here's what I do when everything goes wrong / I go on my own television show and sing a song / Oh well! At least I'm not a mole / Oh well!"

- Red Green.

29. "Some men look at a problem like this and try to find a solution."

- Red Green.

30. "'Vegetarian' is an old Indian word meaning 'I don't hunt so good.'"

- Red Green.

31. "Men are like gas, they take up the space available."

- Red Green.

32. "If life gives you lemons, throw 'em into a quart of vodka."

- Red Green.

33. "(poem) It is winter. When I was young, we never had fights in hockey. But we also never had helmets or protective padding or shields on our skate blades or smooth ice. We used broken, splintered sticks and a brick for a puck and big, hard rocks for the posts. But we didn't have fights. We didn't *need* fight."

- Red Green.

34. "Quando omni flunkus moritati" (pseudo-Latin for "When all else fails, play dead")

- Red Green.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 'Red Green Show' quotes, then why not take a look at 'That '70s show' quotes, or 'Broad City' quotes.

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