FOR ALL AGES

41+ Soccer Puns That You'll Get A Kick Out Of

Kick-start your day with laughter along with our soccer puns.

Soccer is the most popular sport in the world.

Soccer is known as football all over the world. The game has teams and players as famous as some of the biggest Hollywood stars.

As the biggest and most famous game out there, it also has some of the funniest names for teams and players. Like Aston Vanilla, the punny version of the club name, Aston Villa is one of the punniest and funniest names for a soccer team. So take a corner, sit on your bench and enjoy our compilation of some of the best football or soccer puns.

If you like these puns, you can also read netball puns and tennis puns for more sports related laughs.

Best Soccer Puns

Funny soccer jokes are hard to score, but you can just sit back and scroll through our list.

There you have some of the best and funny jokes and puns about soccer.

1. Soccer pitches are always so very wet. It's probably because the players dribble so much.

2. Here's a way of lighting up a soccer stadium. You just need to have a soccer match there.

3. Ghosts that love playing soccer all have the same favorite soccer position. It's the ghoul keeper.

4. Swimmers can never be good at soccer. Mainly because they dive a lot.

5. There is a similarity between a soccer player and a magician: they both can do hat tricks.

6. Today I woke up and went to play soccer the first thing in the morning. I guess you can say I kicked off the day in possibly the best way.

7. Soccer referees send yellow cards to their families on holiday.

8. Even if the pitch gets flooded, soccer players are still able to go on. They only need to bring on the subs.

9. You can't play soccer in the Amazon jungle because there are too many cheetahs in there.

10. I love to play soccer. I play it just for the kicks.

11. There was a chicken that got ejected from the soccer game. It got dismissed for persistent fowl play.

12. There's a ship that holds 20 football teams, and three teams leave it each season. It's named 'The Premier-ship'.

13. You can always stop squirrels playing football in your garden. Hiding the ball will drive them nuts.

14. Cinderella is very bad at soccer. It's probably because she had a pumpkin as a coach.

15. Grasshoppers don't like to watch football. They actually prefer cricket.

16. A dinosaur got a goal in the soccer match. Everyone called it dino-score.

17. Our dog didn't seem to want to play soccer with us. It's probably because he's a boxer.

18. There's a bar that soccer players don't like going to. The name of the place is Crossbar.

19. A dog was made a mediator for a soccer game in our area. It was named 'the rufferee'.

20. A soccer ball walked into a restaurant. But the manager kicked him out.

21. People are not really allowed to wear contacts in soccer. Well, after all, it is a non-contact sport.

22. I went to a soccer game, where a fan jumped onto the field that was dressed as a player. But he was chased off. Well, that was a real kicker.

23. I was trying to unbox the Pro Evolution Soccer 2018 game which I got for my birthday, and the DVD was already snapped in two pieces. My Dad said, "Well, it's a game of 2 halves anyway".

24. Salmon also plays soccer. It's called 'Profishannal soccer'.

Soccer Team Puns

Here's a list of some funny and clever soccer puns.

25. One day, the soccer ball had enough and it quit the team. He was just tired of getting kicked around.

26. The difference between a bad soccer team and a tea bag is that a tea bag stays in the cup longer.

27. Cinderella always gets kicked off the football team. It's mainly because she always keeps running away from the ball.

28. I wanted to start a soccer team and so I put up some posters at our local bulletin board. You know, to get the ball rolling.

29. I love our soccer team. But as opposed to an albatross, our team really doesn't have two decent wings.

30. My niece wanted to buy a shirt of her favorite soccer team. I told her, the best place to buy a new soccer shirt is New Jersey.

31. There's a team that always starts their matches with a bang. They're called 'The Gunners'.

32. There's a football team that loves ice-cream. It's named 'Aston Vanilla'.

33. The soccer team of our neighboring city and the US navy have one thing in common. They've both spent over $60 million on a sub.

34. A few animals were playing a soccer game but the pig wasn't chosen in the team. He was a ball hogger.

35. The soccer coach decided to recruit zombies. It's because his soccer team needed a new Ghoulie.

36. The marines have a second string soccer team. They named it the Submarines.

Soccer Player Puns

Gather up your team and laugh with them reading our funny soccer puns.

Lastly, we have some soccer player jokes and puns to tickle your punny bones.

37. Every soccer player knows very well that they cannot go through their life without goals.

38. There's a reason behind soccer players also being good at math. It's because they all know how to apply their heads properly.

39. A soccer player brought a string to the game. It's because he just wanted to tie the score.

40. Other than soccer itself, the players also love dancing. But only at a soccer ball.

41. Soccer players love one very specific drink. It's called 'Penal-tea'.

42. I know an untidy guy but he's excellent at playing soccer. What a Messi guy!

43. I was dating a pretty famous soccer player who was very nice to me. My father told me that he was a keeper.

44. A goalkeeper's favorite snack is actually beans on the post.

45. Soccer players always have a way of staying cool during games. They just stand near the fans.

46. A soccer player and a judge are very similar. They both sit on the bench sometimes.

A soccer player went to every house on Halloween and said, "Hat trick or treat!"

47. You can cross a mythical puppet and a soccer player. It can be named a centaur forward.

48. The richest soccer player in the world is Cristiano Rollindough.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for soccer puns then why not take a look at rugby jokes, or for something different take a look at moose puns and jokes.

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Kidadl Team

The Kidadl Team is made up of people from different walks of life, from different families and backgrounds, each with unique experiences and nuggets of wisdom to share with you. From lino cutting to surfing to children’s mental health, their hobbies and interests range far and wide. They are passionate about turning your everyday moments into memories and bringing you inspiring ideas to have fun with your family.

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