46 Of The Best Bat Puns And Jokes For Your Kids

Bat hanging upside down outside amongst the trees.

Are your kids batty about bats?

If your little ones are animal lovers, or looking for new ways to impress while they're trick-or-treating this year, we've got the best bat jokes and puns around that are sure to make everyone chuckle. Whether you find bats fascinating or a little bit scary, you'll have to admit they're funny creatures once you read these jokes.

There are over a thousand of species of these fluffy creatures are the only mammals that can fly continuously, and they can live for up to thirty years. Although they sometimes get a bad reputation as a vampire's spooky best friend, we bet these bat jokes and puns will be enough to win you over. Let's just forget the fact they eat bugs... and sometimes blood.

School Jokes

How did the vampire carry her books to school? She put them in her bat-pack.

What did the bat do when he didn't know the answer to the teacher's question? He winged it.

What did the bat say to her friend when she came back to school after her holiday? "Welcome bat!"

Where do bats go to learn things? To the night school.

Which bat  was first to learn their ABC's? The alpha-bat.

How do bats do the register at school? In alpha-bat-ical order.

Bat hanging upside down eating a melon.


How does a bat say hi to her mum? With a sound wave.

What happens when two vampire bats meet? They fall in love at first bite.

How do bats know what's to come in their future? They read their horror-scope.

What's do you call a really small bat? A battle.

What is the only thing smarter than a talking bat? A spelling bee.

What do bats have in common with dentures? They both come out in the night.

What's the best way to make a bat stew? Keep them waiting.

What's a baby bat's favourite food? A tasty bowl of alpha-bat soup.

Why do bats hate living on their own? They want to hang out with their friends.

Who does the famous bat get letters from? His fang club.

What did the bat say to the girl he liked? "Let's hang out together some time."

Vampire Jokes

Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan? To the blood bank.

How do you know a vampire is flirting with you? Because she bats her eyelashes.

What do bats say to vampires they hate? "You suck!"

Why don't people like grumpy vampires? Because they have bat tempers.

Why don't vampires use the front door? Because they use the bat flap instead.

Why did the vampire bat fall in love with his wife? He said it was love at first bite.

What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning? Pancake batter.

What's a vampire bat's favourite food? I scream!

Why are vampire bats so unpopular? Because they're a massive pain in the neck.

What do you get when you cross a vampire bat with a snowman? Frostbite.

Brown bat lying down.

Question and Answer Jokes

What kind of bat can do a back flip? An acro-bat.

What's a vampire bat's favourite fruit? A neck-tarine.

What is a bat's favourite pudding? Upside down cake.

How do bats manage to fly without bumping into each other? They use their wing mirrors.

What do you call a bat who gets charged up to fly? A battery.

What does a vampire bat call his best friends?  His blood brothers.

What did the vampire bat say when I offered her a snack? No fangs, I've already eaten my dinner.

What do you do when your bat-friend does something good? Give her a bat on the back.

How does Dracula keep fit? By playing batminton.

Where does a vampire go to have a shower? They go to the batroom.

What did the vampire's mum say when he shouted at her? "Young man, you need to watch your battitude!"

Why did the bat want to get a job? She was fed up of hanging around.

Baseball bat and balls.

Baseball Jokes

How can you tell if vampires like baseball? Every night they turn into bats.

Why do the witches never win a game of baseball? Because their bats always fly away.

What's the right way to hold a bat? Using the handle.

What happens if you cross a bat and a ball? You get a home run.

Why did the sportsmen play the baseball game at night? Because bats sleep during the day.

Why wasn't the little bat allowed to play baseball? Because he was a bat boy.

Bat flying in the sky in daylight.

Knock Knock Jokes

Knock Knock

Who's there?


Bat who?

Bat you can't guess who it is!



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