Top 49 Chocolate Jokes That Will Leave You Wanting More

Little girl eating chocolate has got chocolate all around her mouth and on her hands.

If you like chocolate, you're going to love these chocolate jokes and cocoa puns.

Like chocolate chip cookies, we bet you can't stop at just one. In fact, we think you should dive right in and get covered in chocolate silliness.

From jokes about chocolate bars to chocolate cookies, you'll find our selection a bit like a box of chocolates. Nutty, crunchy and covered in chocolate deliciousness. What are you waiting for? Get stuck in.

Question And Answer Jokes

Various delicious chocolate desserts: ice cream with smarties, a crêpe with chocolate on top and a brownie.
Image © Gianluca Gerardi on Unsplash

Get on board with our favourite chocolate jokes.

What kind of sweet is never on time? Choco-LATE.

What's the opposite of chocolate? Choco-EARLY.

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair? Chocolate Chip Wookie.

Why did the doughnut visit the dentist? He needed a chocolate filling.

What's a French cat's favourite dessert? Chocolate mousse.

What do you call stolen cocoa? Hot chocolate.

What's an astronaut's favourite chocolate? A Mars bar.

What's a monkey's favourite kind of chocolate? Chocolate chimp.

What fruit loves chocolate? A coco-nut.

Why did the M&M go to University? Because he wanted to be a Smartie.

What happens before it rains chocolate? It sprinkles.

What do you call a cow with a stutter? Cacao.

Why is Toblerone triangular? So it fits in the box.

How did the hipster burn his mouth on hot chocolate? He drank it before it was cool.

What do you get if you dip a cat in chocolate? A Kit Kat bar.

What did the astronaut say when he stepped on a chocolate bar? I just stepped foot on Mars.

What kind of biscuit can fly a space ship? A chocolate chip Wookie.

What's the sun's favourite chocolate bar? A Milky Way.

Chocolate Puns

Little girl eating melted chocolate from her finger and has chocolate on her mouth and nose.

If you've been melting in the heat this summer, you'll find these hot chocolate puns right up your street.

Where did the chocolate couple stay for their honeymoon? In a hotel sweet.

What do you call an ant dipped in chocolate? Decad-ANT.

What do you call a lamb dipped in chocolate? A chocolate baa.

They just discovered an Egyptian tomb filled with hazelnuts and chocolate. They believe it's the tomb of Pharoah Rocher.

What kind of chocolate do you find in the fluff catching drawer of the dryer? Lindt.

A man said to the chocolate maker, "Are you a magician?" "No," said the chocolate maker, "but I do have a couple of Twix up my sleeve."

Last night in jail the prisoners were given mint chocolates for dessert. The prisoners thought they wouldn't be any good, but they were. It turns out in-prison mint isn't that bad.

What do cannibals eat for dessert? Chocolate-covered aunts.

What kind of chocolate can you buy at the airport? Plane chocolate.

What kind of chocolate bar can you eat in a library? A Wispa.

A boy threw a milk chocolate bar at me. How dairy.

Seven days without chocolate makes one weak.

What kind of bar is kid friendly? A chocolate bar.

How do you turn the dairy chocolate turn into dark chocolate? Turn off the lights.

What's the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and one that produces chocolate milk? A moo-tation.

What's an electrician's least favourite ice cream flavour? Shock-o-lat.

Knock, Knock Jokes

Little boy and his mum are baking with chocolate and he has got chocolate all over himself.

Everyone loves a knock, knock joke and these two have a built-in pun too.

Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Candy boy.

Candy boy who?

Candy boy have another piece of chocolate?


Who's there?


Chalk who?

Chocolate is my favourite flavour ice cream.

Chocolate One-Liners

Memorise these one-liners and then roll them out like Maltesers.

Life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you're going to get.

I just saw an aircraft made of bubbly chocolate. I think it was an Aero plane.

I once saw people arguing over the last piece of chocolate. It was Terry-vying.

I like to break the rules – once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.

I've got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. Somehow I'm just not cut out to be a Bounty hunter.

I don't like putting a lid on my hot chocolate. I like to keep my Options open.

Chocolate bar prices have really gone up. I bought a Mars bar, a Milky Way and a galaxy, and they were astronomical.

I got myself a hazelnut and chocolate sports car. It's a Ferrari Rocher.

I heard a chocolate joke the other day, but it wasn't that funny and only got Snickers out of me.

Life is like a box of chocolates – full of nuts.

Chocolate Story Jokes

Story jokes shouldn't be too long or you'll lose your audience's attention. These two are nice and short.

A mum to her son: "Yesterday there were two chocolate cakes in the pantry and now there's only one. Do you know why?

Son: "I don't know. I think it was too dark for me to see the second one."

I just ate too much chocolate, nuts and marshmallows. I won't lie, it was a Rocky Road.

A man is shipwrecked on a desert island. One day he finds a magic lamp on the beach. He rubs it and a genie appears. "I will grant you three wishes," says the genie.

"For my first wish, I would like a boat with a full tank of petrol." The genie snaps his fingers and the boat appears.

"For my second wish, I would like 10 million pounds." The genie snaps his fingers and a bag appears stuffed with the money.

"For my final wish, I would like to be so popular that everyone likes me." For the last time, the genie snaps his fingers and the man is turned into a box of chocolates.



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