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70+ Best Vegetarian Jokes That They'll Love

Vegetables and vegetarians are a great subject for humor.

The grass is greener on this site of the internet!

Following our collection of vegan puns and plant puns, we have compiled our best vegetarian jokes for you too! You'll find some great vegetarian humor here alongside some funny vegetarian quotes, jokes, and vegetarian food puns!

Vegetables entered cultivation in several parts of the world after being collected from the wild by hunter-gatherers, c. 10,000 BC to 7,000 BC and a new agricultural way of life was developed! People with a high intake of fruits and vegetables have an overall healthier diet and have low risks of chronic diseases because of the low amount of cholesterol. Eating vegetables supplies the human body with ample vital nutrients for the well-being and proper maintenance of the body. Broccolis, which are hated by some kids, actually have more protein in them than steaks! It isn't easy to gain weight even after consuming loads of veggies because of how few calories they have.

Let's munch through these funny vegetarian quotes, which might include the odd pescatarian jokes for some fun, along with some funny vegetarian punny jokes for vegetarians! Have a go at some of our funny vegetarian jokes to satisfy your daily quota of veggie humor!

Awesome Vegan Jokes

Vegetables are a significant part of our diet.

Who doesn't love a joke or two about vegans? Let's go through some here!

1. Why was the vegan cultist disowned by his family? Because he sold his soul to seitan!

2. Why did the vegan couple have trouble in their relationship? Because they had terrible tempehs.

3. Why did the tofu cross the road? To prove it wasn't a chicken!

4. Why did the vegan maintain his distance from the cow? Because it kept cracking dairy jokes.

5. Why are vegans considered to be good-natured people? Because they got no beef.

6. What did the vegan Romeo tell Juliet before they last saw each other? We have to stop meating like this!

7. Why was the vegan antisocial? Because he avoided meats.

8. What car is a vegan's favorite? A Volks-vegan.

9. Why did the broke vegan sell his car? Because he couldn't make ends meat.

10. How did vegans come into existence? They evolved from Hummus Sapiens.

11. Why did the comedian not joke about tofu? Because that would be tasteless.

12. Why do vegans say grace before eating chickpeas? To honor the peas posthummus-ly.

13. Why did the vegan cross the road? Because he wanted to protest for the chicken.

14. How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb? One to do the job and nine others to preach veganism!

15. How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb? None. People know they can't change anything!

16. Why did two tofu cross the road together? Because it was a tofu one deal!

Funny Plant Jokes

Not only are plants an essential part of the environment and our diet, but they also make for some of the best jokes! Let's plant our attention to some of these jokes!

17. What did the farmer say after he was woken up covered in bamboo shoots? I've been bamboo-zled.

18. Why was the depressed plant prescribed therapy? To get to the root of its problems!

19. Why did the radish blush on seeing his wife? She was looking absolutely radishing!

20. What did the flowers say before jumping off the window sill? Let's take a leaf of faith.

21. Why couldn't the gardener separate the mint from the ground? Because they were mint to be.

22. What did the cactus say during its wedding oath? "I'm glad I pricked you"!

23. Why were the plants bored at the party? It was not the thyme to party.

24. What did the fern plant say to its partner? I'm very frond of you.

25. Why was the gardener proud of his greenhouse decorations? It was plant to perfection.

26. Why did the vegetable have a large friend circle? Because it branched out.

27. Why did the vegetable die when it was sown into the soil? Because the process was a bit too mulch.

28. What did the doctor prescribe his vegetable patient who looked pale? Chloropills.

29. Why did the hacker take control of the greenhouse computer? To get root access.

30. Why is there no favoritism in the garden? Because in the eyes of the lawn, everyone is equal.

31. What do you call a wheat crop growing in a field of rice crops? An undercover crop.

Funny Vegetarian Jokes

Vegetarian jokes are unique and hilarious.

Choosing a vegetarian diet is good for your health, but reading our vegetarian jokes is even better! Like the ones below.

32. Why did the vegetarian break up with his meat-eating girlfriend? Because he wanted to stop meating like this in secret!

33. What do you call a vegetarian who has an almost balanced diet? Rad-ish.

34. What do you call a vegetarian who is actually a wannabe pescatarian? Superfishial!

35. Why did the vegetarian take a picture of his meal? They wanted to put it on their Instayam.

36.  What do you call a vegetarian who resents being a worse chef than his colleague? Green with envy.

37. Why were the vegetarians uncomfortable at the comedy show? Because most of the jokes were too corny for their taste!

38. Why did the vegetarian join the dojo? To learn carrot-e.

39. Why did the vegetarian receive a morale boost? Because his employer had just increased his celery!

40. What do you call a vegetarian who is an old and trusted friend? An old bean!

41. How many non-vegetarians does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Because they'd rather stay in the dark!

42. Why did the vegetarian get ill after eating a huge plate of beans? It was beanough to make him sick.

43. Where do evil vegetarians eat and worship? The Temple of Seitan.

44. Which weight category did the vegetarian boxer partake in? The Soy Division.

45. Why did the depressed vegetarian farmer take a walk in his crop field? To take the wheat off his mind.

46. Why did the vegetables fall from the grocery bag of the vegetarian? Because there was a huge leek in it.

47. Why did the vegetarian seem so sad after coming back from the grocery store? Because he was carrying a lot of emotional cabbage.

48. Why did the vegetarians stay away from kale? Because it kept kaleing the vibe.

49. Why was the man, who was a vegetarian, angry at the people causing a ruckus at the dinner table? Because all he wanted was some peas and quiet.

50. Why was the vegetarian chef angry when he read the article by the critics? Because the genuineness of his dish was kaled into question.

Funny Vegetable Jokes

Vegetables may seem 'poor in taste' but they are awesome and healthy. But that doesn't stop them from being funny! Let's see some of our best veggie jokes!

51. What did the cucumber say after it fell in a vinegar jar? I'm in a pickle here!

52. What did the chef name his book about his experience in the freedom struggle? War and Peas.

53. Where did the chef find all his pea recipes? On the Encyclopeadia.

54. Why was the vegetarian waking up to dead crops every day? Because there was a cereal killer on the loose.

55. Where do you find a leprechaun who is a farmer? Somewhere under the grainbow.

56. Why were the guards on high alert? Because they found out there was an escapea.

57. What did the farmer do to light up the party? He dropped the beets!

58. What car does a vegetarian drive? A Volkswagen Beet-le.

59. Why did the bean have a reputation for being a liar? Because the beansprout a lot of nonsense.  

60. Why were the baby peas afraid of the old pea? Because it was grumpea!

61. Why did the farmer's apprentice quit his job? Because the celery was too low.

62. Why was the man lost in the crop field? It was a difficult maize to navigate.

63. Why was the gourd dish not up to the city girl's standards? Because it was a country pumpkin.

64. Why was the farmer's bean farm entered into the Guinness book of world record? Because it was beanormous.

65. How do you get the water in the watermelon? You plant it in the spring.

66. Why did the tomato cross the road? Because it was on a roll!

67. Why did the vegetable vendor's boat sink? Because it was full of leeks.

68. What do you call a movie about beans sailing the oceans? Pirates of the Caribbeans.

69. Why was the rebellious veggie punished by his parents? Because he didn't carrot all about them!

70. Why was the potato stalling on writing his biography? Because he didn't know where to starch at all.

71. What did the soya chunks name their band? Soy Division.

72. How did the tomato propose? "I love you from my head, tomatoes".

73.  What happened to the elevator that was filled with fungi? It was closed because it didn't have mushroom for others.

Here at Kidadl, we have lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 70+ Best Vegetarian Jokes That They'll Love!, then why not take a look at vegan jokes or plant jokes.

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Kidadl Team

The Kidadl Team is made up of people from different walks of life, from different families and backgrounds, each with unique experiences and nuggets of wisdom to share with you. From lino cutting to surfing to children’s mental health, their hobbies and interests range far and wide. They are passionate about turning your everyday moments into memories and bringing you inspiring ideas to have fun with your family.

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