Weddings can be pretty stressful, with a lot of organising from the cake to the wedding favors and much, much more.
If you know someone that's getting married, you can provide some light comic relief with some funny puns to get the best out of the wedding day. Our funny wedding and marriage puns would slot nicely into a speech for a best man: learn a few of these puns and you might just save the (wedding) day when he gets tongue-tied or suffers from a case of writer's block.
We've pulled together the funniest wedding puns that are definitely going to get the best reception to help you celebrate the happy couple that will get everyone laughing, even the cake will be in tiers at your wedding cake puns. The greatest gift you can give to a couple you love on their wedding day is a well-rehearsed speech that's full of heart-warming laughs, and what is better to include than a perfectly positioned wedding pun (or a few wedding puns). Not to mention the pictures you'll want to share on Instagram after the big day, these silly wedding puns for hashtags and captions are the perfect choice.
Puns About Proposing
Proposals can be the most exciting part, and if you love puns, there's no better way to toast the happy couple than with some puns about the proposal.
1. The famous musician proposed to the woman he was in love with. He did it with a kneel diamond.
2. My dad proposed to my mum at 11:59 on New Years Eve. He told me it was because he wanted to say she took all year to decide.
3. I decided I'm going to change my name when I get married. I would love something with a good ring to it.
4. The melon was shocked when the other melon proposed. She exclaimed, "honeydew know! I cantelope!"
5. A boyfriend was planning on proposing to his girlfriend. When the moment was right, he picked up his phone, and called her number. "What are you doing?" she asked. "I don't know," he replied, taking out the ring box, "I just wanted to give you a ring."
6. I asked the librarian if he had any books of proposal puns. She said yes.
7. A man decided to propose to the love of his life, but as soon as he got down on one knee he farted. It was a very fun knee moment.
8. I am obsessed with watching wedding proposals on YouTube. I just find them so engaging.
9. I was in love with a sheep, so I wanted to propose. I finally got up the courage to ask, "will ewe marry me?"
10. Nade is going to buy some meat for his surprise proposal to you. Are you going to marinade?
11. A man at the gym proposed to his weights partner. She said no. It's safe to say it didn't work out.
12. I proposed to a mime, and asked, "will you mirror me?" She was absolutely speechless.
13. Did you know about the spiders that got engaged last week? I heard that they met on the web.
14. The lightbulb was so confused when someone she barely knew proposed to he. "Watt?" she replied, "I'm shocked."
15. The cellphone was excited to propose to his girlfriend. After months of planning, he finally gave her a ring.
16. The man proposed to the woman he was in love with using 100 pink balloons. She turned up to the proposal 40 minutes late, so the minute she turned up he popped the question.
17. The girl melon was shocked when her boyfriend proposed. "We are far too young!" she shrieked, "we cantelope!"
18. My wife told me once she didn't love how I roasted her just before I proposed to her. Looking back on it, I can see now that she was a bit diss engaged.
19. Mr Ohm remembers fondly how he proposed to Mrs Ohm. He couldn't resistor.
Make light of the main event with these hilarious wedding puns.
20. I went to the wedding of two artists. There was the bride to be, the groom to be and a whole load of pencils. 2B.
21. Last week I went to the wedding of two nuclear power workers. The groom was glowing, and the bride was positively radiant.
22. I liked the whole wedding, but it was the reception that really took the cake.
23. The beers looked gorgeous on their wedding day. They were pitcher perfect.
24. I met a sailor I wanted to marry, but even though he was in love with me, he wasn't ready to tie the knot.
25. Two antennas got married. The wedding was a bit disappointing, but the reception was great.
26. The wedding was very emotional. Even the cake was in tiers by the end.
30. The Queen of Hearts had to marry the King of Hearts. There was no denying that they were perfectly suited.
31. For butter or worse, I want to toast the lovely bride and groom.
32. I went to a wedding where all the guests ended up getting food poisoning from the buffet. It was a real party pooper.
33. The bride didn't mean to gain wait before the wedding. She did it by snaccident.
34. Did you hear about that bald guy that was so in love with his comb, he decided to marry it? At the wedding he declared, "I'll never part with it!"
35. The most emotional part of the wedding was not the speeches or the vows. It was when the cake was smashed into my face. It really brought a tier to my eye.
36. Two melons tried to go to Vegas to get married, but they didn't have the right documents. It's a shame they cantelope.
37. I know two scoutmasters who have been madly in love for years. They only just decided it was finally time to tie the knot.
38. Best men, please stand to the left because women are always right.
39. Eat, drink and be married!
40. Marriage. You do, or you don't.
41. The father of the bride gave a speech at the wedding. He got the bride to put her hand out and the groom to place his hand on top of hers. He looked at the groom, and said, "this is the last time you'll ever have the upper hand."
42. My friend was telling me about a wedding he is going to next year. He said he'll be wearing the same kilt as the groom. I love the idea, but I'm really not sure how they're both going to fit into it.
43. The groom decided to ask his brother to be in his wedding. He was sure he was the best man for the job.
44. "I'd like to give a toast," said the groom. "Make sure you put some jam on it," replied the bride.
45. I'm just like a dumpling, I have fillings for you.
46. After all the talk about cold feet before a wedding, I didn't notice. Mine were just groom temperature.
47. At the wedding, the priest began, "repeat after me..." To which the groom replied, "after me, after me, after me." The priest looked at the bride in disbelief. "Is he serious?" he asked. "No," she replied, looking confused, "he's Daniel."
48. Two florists got married. It was an arranged marriage.
49. Don't try to make your own wedding cake. It's only going to end in tiers.
50. I went to a cannibal wedding. The best man toasted the groom, the groom toasted the bridesmaids, the father of the bride toasted everyone who couldn't be there. It was a huge barbecue.
51. I went to a wedding where a fight broke out between the bride and groom. It was martial arts.
52. I went to my friend's room before his wedding, and asked if he was wearing two pairs of socks. He looked confused, and I told him he had to put another pair on. I don't want him to get cold feet.
53. The bride was about to walk down the aisle when she realised she really needed to pee. "How long do I have?" she asked her father. He replied, "go now, or forever hold your pees."
Married Life Puns
When a wedding ends, marriage begins, and these marriage puns are some of the funniest out there to celebrate the happy ever after.
54. It's been five years since I went to the wedding of the invisible man and the invisible woman. The kids aren't anything to look at either.
55. Did you hear about the notebook who married a pen? She was so happy that she'd finally found Mr. Write.
56. You two are mer-maid for each other.
57. I heard that Comic Sans is divorcing Times New Roman. She said he just wasn't his type.
58. Love might be blind, but marriage sure is a real eye opener.
59. I was devastated to hear that the jumper cables are getting a divorce. They said that after the wedding, they just lost the spark.
60. Two many little digs will send a marriage to an early grave.
61. So Hydrogen and Helium decided to get a divorce. I've heard they've both moved on, but they still think of each other periodically.
62. A couple of canon balls got married yesterday. I heard that they are already expecting BBs.
63. Some mornings I wake up grumpy. And others I just let him sleep in.
64. When do you think the right time to get married is? I don't know, when do you propose?
65. I hope you live apple-y ever after.
Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly Jokes/Puns/Riddles for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for funny wedding puns then why not take a look at 52 Cake Puns That Will Have You In Tiers Of Laughter, or for something different take a look at 51 Star Wars Puns For Kids.
Emily has lived in London for ten years, and still loves discovering new places to explore in the capital with her two little brothers. She loves all things lifestyle and fashion, she is a fashion designer and artist, as well as working with arts charities to facilitate workshops and outreach on crafts, fashion, and design for children with special needs and children with difficult home lives who might otherwise not have access, from toddlers to teenagers. Emily is also a trained life coach and loves talking and writing about general wellness, mindfulness and healthy relationships.