47 Best Avocado Jokes For Your Avo-kiddos

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You'll never hit guac bottom in the humour stakes with Kidadl's pear-fctly punny lists of jokes and puns.

If you love to laugh, then you'll avo whole load of good fun with this full crop of avocado puns and jokes that are ripe for the picking.  After all, why have one avocado joke when you can spread it on a little thicker?

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Prove that avocado jokes don't have to be the pits, with these witty one liners and avocado puns.

1.Got myself into a sticky situation with an avocado; I was stuck between a guac and a hard place.

2.I got a promotion in my job at the avocado farm. It was a move in the ripe direction.

3.You can’t judge any avocado until you guac-a-mile in his shoes.

4.My avocado car has broken down. It’s beyond re-pear.

5.Did you hear about the avocado army that invaded a dining table? They gua-ccupied the bowl.

6.I know an avocado who can run for hours. He’s hard core.

7.Accidentally got some avocado in my eyes and now I think I have guac-oma.

8.I went for a drive with an avocado but he was going really slow so I told him to guac-celerate.

9.He might be small and green, but he does avocado.

10.I was given a backstage pass to the avocado concert. It was Guac-cess All Areas.

Remember, it takes two halves to avo fruitful conversation.

11.What did the sad avocado say? It’s a hard guac life.

12.What did the avocado half say to the other avocado half?  Without you, I’m empty inside.

13.What did the daddy avocado say to the baby avocado?  You’re a chip off the guac.

14.What did the avocado say when the tortilla chip asked how she was?  I’m all ripe, thank you.

15.What did the avocado say to the fork?  You guac my world.

Did You Know? Everyone's favourite superfood, avocados are the fruit with the most protein in them.

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We really wanted to gauc the last laugh with our dip into avocado funnies, but the tortilla chip pipped us to the post.

16.What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado?  Well, this is guac-ward.

17.What did the tortilla chip say to the avocado when the dip bowl was empty?  We’ve hit guac bottom.

18.How do tortilla chips say goodbye?  See you later avo-gator. In a while guac-odile.

19.What did the tortilla chip say to the guacamole?  You are all I avo wanted.

20.What did the tortilla chip say when he was threatening the avocado?  I’m going to have you guac-ing in your boots.

21.What did the tortilla chip say to the mummy, daddy and baby avocado?  Good things come in trees.

It's true guac they say, avocado really does go with anything.

22.What do you get if you cross an avocado with a radio?  A guakie-talkie.

23.What do you get if you cross paper with guacamole?  Avocad-board.

24.What do you get if you cross an avocado with a horrible insect? A guac-roach.

25.What do you get if you cross an avocado with a desert plant? A guac-tus.

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Humour especially for people who love a good serving of the mushy stuff.

26.What do you say when the guacamole is ready?  Chip, chip, hooray!

27.What do you say when the guacamole tastes perfect?  Bravocado.

28.What do robots have with their guacamole?  Computer chips.

29.How does the guacamole fairy tale end?  Happily avo after.

30.What did the doctor say to the poorly guacamole?  You need an avoca-dose of medicine.

If you've ever wondered what type of taste avocados have, these jokes will give you an idea.

31.What is an avocado’s favourite type of music? Guac and roll.

32.What is an avocado’s favourite kind of exercise? Avocadio.

33.What is an avocado’s favourite game? Guac-a-mole.

34.What is an avocado’s favourite type of guitar? Guac-oustic.

35.What is an avocado’s favourite place to go on a date? The guac-tail bar.

36.What is an avocado’s favourite way to meet new people? At pear to pear networks.

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You'll never hit guac bottom when there are avocado puns around. With so many adjectives used to describe avocados, it's impossible to pick a pear.

37.What do you call an over-ripe avocado? Guaca-mouldy.

38.What do call a religious avocado? Holy guacamole.

39.What do you call young avocados? Avo-kiddos.

40.What do you call a bad avocado? Green spirited.

41.What do you call a good looking avocado? Fruit as a button.

Did You Know? 6,000 avocados are sold every hour in the UK, and National Avocado Day is celebrated on 31st July every year.

Because you can never avo-nough jokes, we've guac even more of the best avocado puns and jokes below.

42.Why was the avocado followed by the paparazzi? He was a guac star.

43.How do avocado cartoons end? Guac’s all folks.

44.What did the thief say when he was caught stealing avocados?  I know it’s wrong, but it feels so ripe.

45.What did the duck say when he found an avocado? Guac, guac.

46.What type of events do avocados go to when they want to find love? Seed dating.

47.What did the mummy avocado say when the baby avocado was upset? Want to avo-cuddle?