- What's gruesome, hilarious and totally oar-inspiring? A Horrible Histories boat tour, of course.
- Embark on this brand-new theatre experience inspired by the smash-hit Horrible Histories franchise.
- Explore London by boat and dig deep into its history - with all the disgusting bits left in.
All aboard! Experience Terry Deary's beloved stories in a whole new way as you set sail on a nautical extravaganza that takes you back in time and all over the capital. Dive into London's strangest, stinkiest history in all its gruesome glory as live actors share everything the history books don't tell you.
In collaboration with Birmingham Stage Company and Woods' Silver Fleet, this long-time family favourite is taking to the Thames on a totally terrible tour, where you'll experience history as you never have before. Expect some ever-hilarious Horrible Histories songs and jokes on your journey through time and immerse yourself in everything gory and gross, as you learn all about the goings-on at the Globe, the terrifying tales of the Tower, and the lesser-known legends of London Bridge. Don't be fooled by the majestic façades; as you whizz past famous buildings and monuments you'll find out the most gruesome facts that'll make you see these landmarks in a whole new light.
On this sightseeing boat tour with a twist, you'll learn about events from days of yore, with all the staple characters you already know and love from Horrible Histories. Henry VIII, Boudicca, the Duke of Wellington and more share their stories as you sail past their old stomping grounds and experience where they lived and died. Who knows, you might even catch a glimpse of one of their ghosts...
Created by Terry Deary, the brilliantly bonkers book series began in 1993, with sequels published over the course of more than 20 years. Since then, the Horrible Histories books have been translated into over 40 languages and the franchise has become a household name; with merchandise galore, a smash-hit TV series, a hugely successful theatre show, and even a Horrible Histories movie.
Whether you're looking for a sightseeing boat tour, a hilarious theatre show or an educational history lesson, Terrible Thames has it all, and it's utter madness in the best way. So, if your children spend their days watching endless episodes on CBBC, Horrible Histories: Terrible Thames is a brilliant way to get everyone out of the house this summer. It's fun, informational, and really quite foul.
What to know before you go
- Under-15s must be accompanied by an adult. Children aged 0-3 go free if sitting on the lap of a parent or guardian.
- The cruise is 45 minutes long.
- We recommend arriving around half an hour before departure.
- Tours will take place on the upper deck in good weather. In poor weather, it will be moved to the lower deck, where there is heating.
- Buggies, prams and kids' scooters can be stored in the allocated space on the lower deck; these are not permitted on the upper deck.
- The boat is not currently wheelchair accessible; there are four steps to the lower deck and five steps to the open upper deck.
- Two toilet cubicles can be found on the boat's lower deck but there is no disabled toilet facility aboard.
- Some BSL-interpreted performances will be taking place, along with Relaxed Performances that allow for more noise and movement.
- The second deck is usually a good location for patrons who would like to be in a quieter environment during the tour.
- If you're feeling peckish afterwards, there are plenty of places to eat nearby, including a Strada at St Katharine Docks and a Pizza Express just across the river on Shad Thames.
- Tours depart from Tower Bridge Quay (previously known as St Katharine's Pier), on the east side of Tower Bridge. Bear in mind there is no shelter at the quay while you queue, so bring an umbrella if the weather's looking gloomy.
- Tower Hill Underground station (Circle and District lines) is a 10-minute walk and Fenchurch Street rail station is a 15-minute walk to the departure location.
- Alternatively, London Bridge station is also within a 15-minute walk, offering both Underground (Jubilee and Northern lines) and mainline rail services from the south bank.
- Tower Hill Coach and Car Park on Lower Thames Street and City Quay car park on Thomas More Street are a few minutes' walk away.
- Pay-and-display parking can be found on St Katharine's Way.
- Bus routes 42, 78, 100, 108 and 343 all stop within a five-minute walk.