98 Best Horse Puns To Make You Say Hay Not Neigh

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Jan 24, 2024 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Dec 01, 2020
Edited by Flora Wilson
Horses run gallop in flower meadow.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 10.4 Min

Horses or equestrians are one of the oldest animals to have been domesticated by humans.

Horses are powerful four-legged mammals. Horses are known to serve a wide range of work for humans like means of transport and leisure.

Horse racing is a famous sport since time immemorial. Many breeds of horses are found, and among them, the superior breeds are extensively used for horse racing. Jump into our pool of horse puns, including some stable puns, horse captions, polo puns, and horse one-liners.

If you are interested in more puns, check out these articles: horse jokes and llama puns.

Best Horse Puns

Here we have some of the best horse puns, some jumping puns, pony puns, and so many more.

1. Jockeys are often considered to be clouds as they hold the reins!

2. I read a novel that had the story of a runaway horse. It was such a bad tale of 'whoa'.

3. A couple of horses decided to form a band called 'The Foals'. They have quite a colt following!

4.Our neighbor has a horse named Mayo, and well, Mayo neighs a lot.

5. When the little horse stayed up late at night, his father shouted at him, "Little foal go to bed as it is pasture bedtime".

6. The farm owner has a couple of horses and a huge sum of money in his bank. He is definitely financially stable!

7. My brother woke up late and was running late for work, so I told him to hoof it!

8. I bought a horse at the spur of the moment. It was a bad decision, and now I am saddled with tons and tons of responsibilities!

9. I saw my brother riding uncomfortably on a tall horse. I told him to get off his high horse!

10. A horse walked into a restaurant, and before he could order, the waiter said, "Hey", so the horse replied, "Yes, please".

11. The only disease which most horses are scared of is Hay fever!

12. Before an important race, the champion horse prefers eating bread. His favorite is the thoroughbred!

13. The little pony didn't win the singing competition as he was a little hoarse!

14. A horse that has a negative attitude in life can always be seen saying "Neigh".

15. The stallion was an avid adventurer and has visited many places across the world. He surely is a globe-trotter!

16. The man who owned the riding school was in dire straits as his business always kept falling down!

17. My neighbor has a horse who always neighs loudly at night. She's a night-mare to live with!

18. The newly married horses were looking for a place to stay. They finally went to a hotel and booked the bridle suit!

19. The horse owner was always seen standing behind his horse. To get a kick out of it should be the most appropriate reason.  

20. A lion decided to become a horse. So decided to name himself Stal-lion!

21.We had a government-employed doctor in our area who was half horse and half man. He was from the centaur for disease control.

22.The only horse which will neverlose a bet is Sherbet!

23. The fanciest horse which never takes part in a race is a clotheshorse!

24. Horses are exceptional lawyers as they always capture the attention to de-tail!

25. I once got in a bit of trouble and decided to ask my horse for advice. My friend told me not to because horses are a couple of neigh sayers.

Hilarious Funny Horse Puns

The draft horse with its closed eyes.

Here are some funny horse puns, horse riding puns, and some equestrian puns that will knock you off the high horse and make you roll around the ground laughing.

26. Before the much-anticipated race, my jockey was very anxious. So I told him not to be impatient and hold on to his horses!

27. The little train which was named 'Pony' could gallop really fast as it had a very powerful horsepower engine!  

28. Horses are extremely independent animals, and they can talk whinney wants to!

29. I saw my horse watching TV, so I asked him what was his favorite show. He replied, 'The Neigh-bors'.

30. During winter, my horse developed a sore throat. So, I gave him a cough stirrup!

31. I was riding my horse whose ropes were painted with every color. I named it rein-bow.

32. Horses that participate in races have special diets. They only eat fast foods!

33. If your horses get possessed by demons, only consult an ex-horse-ist!

34. Horses love rock music, and they adore the band Queen. Their most favorite song is 'Crazy Little Thing Colt Love'.

35. My brother applied as an assistant stable caretaker. The farm really needs a co-pile-it!

36. Jockeys communicate with their horses by laying all their cards on the stable!

37. If a horse is asked to cast his vote for the Senate of the horses, it usually had the option of a hay or a neigh!

38. The arrogant horse was picked on by the other animals of the farm as they thought the horse would stirrup trouble any day.

39. The pony was a good journalist as he always brought news straight from the horse's mouth!

40. A Bronco went to a shop to buy a packet of juice, but the manager kicked him out because he just had one buck.

41. One of the most difficult jobs is to talk with a racehorse. They hardly stand furlong!

42. In the race, I bet my money on a Himalayan horse. I just had this feeling that it was a good horse Tibetan.

43. Princess Elsa never really feared any horses. Probably because the colt never bothered her anyway.

44. My horse woke up screaming and crying in the dead of night. She probably had a night-mare!

45. The white horse decided to run away from his own wedding. He probably got colt feet!

46. The horse, while climbing a mountain, fell down and said to his friend, "Help me please, I cannot giddyup".

47. Horses are extremely fond of playing indoor games. They usually spend their leisure time playing stable tennis!

48. A horse in the jungle lost all his clothes and ran around to find some. Whenever the other horses saw him, they pointed at him and shouted, "Neigh-kid! neigh-kid!"

49. The arrested horse was released by the police because it de-neigh-ed everything.

50. I had a half-horse friend who always had to be at the centaur of attention.

Clever Puns About Horses

Have a go at these clever horse puns, horse racing puns, and some horse betting puns that will make you want to put them as Instagram captions too.

51. At a game of poker, the horse kept on losing but won the game in the last round. It was amazing how the stables turned in the end!

52. The bad horse didn't want to answer any question that was asked to him, so he kept on stalling!

53. There was a joust, but the horse missed it as he had the knight off!

54. The only American Football team that every horse supports is the Denver Broncos.

55. A horse was running towards a man at full speed because it heard the man shout 'Hey'.

56. My horse is extremely spontaneous as he always does things at the very spur of the moment!

57. A horse won the horse racing competition at school and became quite popular overnight. He was the new stud of the school.

58. The little horse was scolded by his teacher as he always kept foaling around the class!

59. The good horse has always maintained a good shape as he had a stable diet!

60. The anthem for horses is 'Watch me whip… watch me neigh neigh'.

61. In a race, a horse named 'Black Beauty' beat the odds to win the race. Guess she was indeed the dark horse!

62. Just before any thunder, horses see lightning colts!

63. The amateur artist displayed a lot of horse paintings and drawings as he was eager to mount an exhibit!

64. My friend had a horse who was racing in the coming week. He named it 'Radish' and asked us to root for it!

65. The horse was shown the red card and asked to leave the field while playing soccer as he would foal very often!

66. A little horse borrowed some money from his big brother and couldn't pay him back for quite a while. So, one day his brother became impatient and told him, "pony up!"

67. The only cheese that can completely disguise a small horse is a mascarpone!

68. My horse is a bad dancer because, well, it has two left feet.

69. Horses are avid readers of books by J.K. Rowling. Their favorite book is Harry Trotter and Hoofblood Prince.

70. The teacher horse who specialized in teaching philosophy displayed a glass half-filled with water and asked his students, "Is the glass hood empty or hoof filled?"

71. Horses only ever go to one place to cut and get their hair done. They all go to Maine.

72. The young horse was ambitious to join the top colleges of the country. He wanted to join the neigh-vy league!

73. Horses usually carry their lunches to work wrapped in aluminum foal!

74. After visiting the bathroom, the winged horse used the pegaflushes!

Fancy Puns About Horses

Lastly, here we have some fancy horse name puns and even some horse puns for Instagram.

75. The horse stalls at the racetrack were labeled F, E, D, B, and A. I got confused, and when asked about it, they said it's because no one had ever bet on a seahorse.

76. The horse had no friends as he always bail-ed on everyone!

77. One should never insult any jockey. It's because they always get angry and take of-fence.

78. I recently bought a painting from a farmer who only draws pictures of horses and cows. His name I heard is Oscar Moo-neigh.

79. Horses only ever have one hospital where they can go to have babies. It's in Philly.

80. The little mare got very sick, so he had to be admitted to the horse-pital!

81. I finally scolded my horse a lot because it ate all of the bedding in its stable, and it was the last straw.

82. Just before the race, the young horse was extremely charged up as it ate a little bit of haywire!

83. Horses are very bad at boxing as they just keep on hitting the hay!

84. Ponies are wonderful hosts as they have amazing horse-pitality!

85. My neighbor has a horse that has explosive pace. I guess we should name him Neigh-palm!

86. I had this recurring dream that I had become a horse since last week. I had it tonight too. Now it's six nights on the trot.

87. Horses usually drink wine and champagne on a de-canter!

88. The young pony was wildly excited about being called up to the sports rally as he thought it would be a big end-horse-ment!

89. After saving up his salary, the horse decided to buy the car he dreamt of. It was a Fjord Focus!

90. Just before the final race, one horse wanted to quit, so his friend asked him if it was an equest-ionable decision!

91. Horses love country music. Their favorite musician and singer is Colt-on Underwood!

92. Horses usually travel via inter-galloptic space when traveling from one galaxy to another!

93. The horse bought a house, and he decided to pay his mortgage in in-stallion-ments for ten years!

94. The horse was getting ready for the gala, so he visited his tail-or to get his suit fixed!

95. The only degree which a horse achieves after completing college is a pedegree!

96. The stylish horse's hair always shines brightly in the sun as he mane-tains it!

97. When the Jedi Knight was to embark on a long adventure, his horse wished him, "May the horse be with you".

98. While visiting a shopping mall, the horse had to visit the loo, so he went to the bathroom stall-ion.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly puns for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for horse puns, then why not take a look at flamingo puns, or for something different, take a look at ocean jokes.

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Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

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