55+ Best Text Jokes And Puns To Send | Kidadl


55+ Best Text Jokes And Puns To Send

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A text joke is essentially a joke that you can send to people you know to cheer them up or start a conversation.

In this fast-paced world, many people think that the best way to communicate with others is via texting. Texting in this generation has been made easy with the introduction of smartphones.

The world saw a rise in text messages with the invention of cellphones and beepers. Nowadays, text messages are the easiest and fastest way to connect with someone. So stop for a while and have a go at our jokes that all definitely textable jokes.

If you like more such articles, here are Sarcastic Jokes and Facebook Jokes.

Funny Things To Text Your Friends

Here we have some best joke messages that are funny texts to send to people to make them smile a bit more.

1. Him: I can neither eat nor drink ever since I met you last week!

Her: Why so?

Him: Because I'm broke.

2. Girl: Will you give me a ring if we get engaged?

Boy: Most definitely. Why don't you give me your number?

3. Me: Hey mom, can I eat two pieces of the cake?

Mother: Sure. Take a piece and cut it in two halves!

4. Father: Son, did you give fresh water to your pet goldfish?

Son: Nope. They are yet to finish the water which I gave to them last week!

5. Teacher: Hey, why are you wiping the cake all over the floor?

Student: Because this is a sponge cake!

6. Judge: Under what charges are you convicted?

Prisoner: For doing early holiday shopping.

Judge: How early were you?

Prisoner: I shopped before the store opened!

7. Husband: You are looking ravishingly beautiful today.

Wife: Thanks a lot, I just don't know how to reply to this.

Husband: It's simple. Just lie like how I did!

8. Kid: Where do pirates go when they are sick?

Dad: Where?

Kid: They go to the dock!

9. Grandma: Back in our days, you could buy bread, milk, soaps, spices, eggs, meat, all for a dollar.

Little Kid: You can't do that now. They have CCTVs everywhere!

10. Wife: Don't wear glasses, you look so much better without them.

Husband: Yeah, even you look so much better when I don't wear my specs!

11. Me: I need money to join the gym.

Mom: You won't become Dave Bautista by going to the gym.

Me: Did I become Einstein by going to school?

12. Wife: Here, look at that drunk guy. We were supposed to get married 10 years ago.

Me: Wow, he is still celebrating. Lucky guy!

13. Me: It's movie night. Are we having any friends over?

Rick: Ten people are coming. We need thirteen more.

Me: Why?

Rick: Because it is a 13+ movie!

14. Mom: Where is your report card?

Son: It is with my friend.

Mom: Why?

Son: Because he wanted to scare his parents!

15. Man 1: Can any woman make you a millionaire in life?

Man 2: Of course. Only if you are a billionaire!

16. Wife: This dress looks bad on me, and I look fat in it. Why don't you give me a nice compliment?

Me: Wow, you have absolutely perfect eyes!

17. Boy: How many lips does a flower have?

Dad: How many?

Boy: Tu-lips!

Text Messaging Jokes

Cheer your friends up with a funny text message joke or text pun.

Here you'll find the text messaging joke along with funny messages to send to friends, family to make their day a little better.

18. Boy: How does a squid prepare itself for battle?

Me: How?

Boy: It goes to a battle well-armed!

19. Sister: What is the best way to define a shoe made out of a banana?

Brother: What?

Sister: It's called a slipper!

20. Me: How do you define a bee which can never make up his mind?

Dad: What do you call it?

Me: You call it a maybe!

21. Boy 1: What do you call a pig which knows karate?

Boy 2: What?

Boy 1: You call him a pork chop!

22. Wife: How can you differentiate between a zippo and a hippo?

Me: How can you do so?

Wife: One is heavy while the other is a little lighter!

23. Element 1: Do you know what did the atom say when he lost an electron?

Element 2: What did it say?

Element 1: The atom said now it would keep an ion them!

24. Boy 1: Do you know why Sid the scarecrow won the prestigious award?

Girl 1: Why did it win the award?

Boy 1: Because he was really outstanding in his field!

25. Boy 1: Why did the person who worked as a can crusher suddenly quit his job?

Boy 2: Why did he quit it?

Boy 1: He left the job because he thought it was soda pressing!

26. Man 1: Do you know what all the astronomers at NASA do to organize the annual party?

Man 2: No. How do they organize it?

Man 1: Simple. They planet!

27. Boy 1:  Do you know what is the only thing that lies at the bottom of the ocean and always shakes in fear?

Girl 1: I've got no clue. What is it?

Boy 1: It's simple. It's a nervous wreck!

28. Little boy 1: Which is the only instrument that is an absolute favorite among all skeletons?

Little girl 1: No idea. What is it?

Little boy 1: It is a trom-bone!

29. Wife: How do the billboards communicate or speak with one another?

Man: I don't know. How do they speak?

Wife: They speak with one another using sign language!

30. Son: What is the best way to describe a camera which is extremely unpredictable?

Father: Absolutely no idea. What is it?

Son: You call it a loose Canon!

31. Student: Do you know what you will get if you ever cross a vampire with a snowman?

Teacher: I don't know? What will you get?

Student: You will get a frost bite!

Funny Jokes To Text

These are funny text jokes along with a few guess what jokes and funny random texts that you can send to everyone.

32. Boy 1: Why do barbers always come first in whatever race they take part in?

Boy 2: No idea. Are they good runners?

Boy 1: Nope. They come first because they all know the short cut!

33. Little boy: Why should you never tell secrets to someone else if you are in a cornfield?

Little girl: I don't know.

Little boy: Because a cornfield apparently has a lot of ears!

34. Husband: What is the best way to define a pile that is made out of simply cats?

Wife: What do you call it?

Husband: You must call it a meow-ntain!

35. Man 1: Why do all the golfers of the world wear two sets of pants?

Man 2: No idea. Why do they wear two pairs of pants?

Man 1: Because they always have a hole in one!

36. Wife: Do you know what the first plate on the table said to its friend?

Husband: I have no clue. What did it say?

Wife: The plate said, "Dinner's on me".

37. John: What did the angry coach say to the broken soda machine at the stadium?

Jack: No idea. What did he say?

Jack: The coach angrily muttered, "Hey, give me my quarter back right now".

38. Student 1: Why is it extremely foolish to blindly trust the king of the jungle?

Student 2: I have no clue.

Student 1: You should never trust him as he is always a lion!

39. Boy: When does a car stop being a car?

Girl: When does it happen?

Boy: When the car turns into the street!

40. Man: How does a cowboy keep an account of all his cattle and sheep?

Woman: Does he simply count it?

Man: No. He uses a cow-culator!

41. Little girl: What is the best way ever to define a bull which is sleeping?

Little boy: Not a clue. Tell me now.

Little girl: You simply call him a bulldozer!

42. Wife: Why do all the cemeteries have long walls around them?

Husband: To protect the graves?

Wife: Nope. The walls are there because people are always dying to get in!

43. Son: What did the boy say when they were asked to have a Jamaican hairstyle?

Mother: What did he say?

Son: He simply said that he will be dreading it!

44. Kid: What does the racer eat before any sprinting event?

Father: I guess they eat lots of carbohydrates.

Son: No, they don't eat anything. They fast!

45. Boy: Hey, have you heard about the burglar who is very sensitive.

Girl: No. What does he do?

Boy: He takes all the things personally!

47. Boy 1: Do you know how does a groundnut sneezes?

Boy 2: Nope.

Boy 1: He sneezes like Cashew!

48. Boy: How do two snails fight amongst themselves?

Girl: How?

Boy: They simply slug it out!

Jokes About Texting

Knock knock jokes for texting can be funny to send.

Lastly, we have some funny text jokes and texting jokes that are mainly about texting.

49. What did the man say when he was asked by the ophthalmologist to read the smallest text on the reading chart? The man simply said, "I think it has to be Printed in China".

50. What would a Gen Z say if their grandma calls them back instead of texting when you text them at first? They would say boomer-rang!

51. What did I do when my friend asked me to explain to him the concept of text-to-speech?  I didn't explain it as it simply speaks for itself!

52. What do you have when both your son and daughter text you to lend them $100 each? You have $200 and two unread messages on your cell phone!

53. What is the best way to define the situation in which Ruth decided to run away from her house via just a text message? You call it Ruthless!

54. What is the crime which you can commit if you ever throw a book at someone? You are bound to commit a textual assault!

55. What message did Rudolph the reindeer text to Santa? Nothing. He didn't send any text, he simply left Santa on red!  

56. What did I reply when my wife texted that she is having a terribly stressful day at work and is losing her entire mind? I texted back, 'Relax. It's just in your head'.

57. Why was the intern journalist fired from the eminent newspaper organization? Because he forgot to write the important text!

58. Why did the wife text her husband a message containing 'Earth' every day while he was at work? Because he meant the entire world to her!

59. What did the college student do when he needed to get in-text citations for his paper on insurance and finance? He decided that he will get a quote!

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of great family-friendly jokes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Text Jokes then why not take a look at Ironic Jokes, or Paper Puns.

Rajnandini is an art lover and enthusiastically likes to spread her knowledge. With a Master of Arts in English, she has worked as a private tutor and, in the past few years, has moved into content writing for companies such as Writer's Zone. Trilingual Rajnandini has also published work in a supplement for 'The Telegraph', and had her poetry shortlisted in Poems4Peace, an international project. Outside work, her interests include music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading. She is fond of classic British literature.

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