42 Best Spaceballs Quotes From The Retro Sci-Fi Comedy | Kidadl


42 Best Spaceballs Quotes From The Retro Sci-Fi Comedy

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Read these Tokyo facts to learn all about the Japanese capital.

'Spaceballs', from 1987, is a hit parody film of the movie trilogy 'Star Wars'.

The movie is about a pilot and his sidekick who wants to save a princess and see to it that the galaxy is not destroyed by the evil group, 'Spaceballs'. Lord Dark Helmut plays the parody role of Darth Vader of 'Star Wars'.

There are many famous cast members in the movie. There are other characters like Dot Matrix, Princess Vespa, Colonel Sandurz, and many more. Rick Moranis plays Lord Dark Helmut and Mel Brooks plays Yoghurt. Plus, John Candy plays Barf and Daphne Zuniga of Princess Vespa.

You may also like 'Star Wars' prequel quotes and [sci-fi quotes] if you like this article.

Lord Dark Helmut Quotes

Spaceballs Cosplayer at Fedcon 27, a four day sci-fi fan convention

Here are some of the best quotes from 'Spaceballs'. We have collected the famous 'Spaceballs' Dark Helmet quotes for you to laugh out loud:

1. "Out of order? ... Even in the future, nothing works!"

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

2. "Now you see that evil will always triumph, because good is dumb."

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

3. "The way he runs things, it won't last a hundred."

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

4. "So the combination is one, two, three, four, five. That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard in my life! That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage."

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

5. "What have I done? My brains... Are going into my feet!"

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

6. "Yes. I always have my coffee when I watch radar, you know that!"

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

7. "What's the matter, Colonel Sandurz? Chicken?"

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

8. "Yogurt! Yogurt! I hate Yogurt! Even with strawberries."

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

9. "You have the ring, and I see your Schwartz is as big as mine. Now let's see how well you handle it."

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

10. "Ah, planet Druidia. And under that air shield, ten thousand years of fresh air. We must get through that air shield!"

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

11. "The Ring! I can't believe you fell for the oldest trick in the book! What a goof! What's with you man? Come on! You know what? Here let me give it back to you."

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

12. "What? You went over my helmet?"

- Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

13. "I can't breathe in this thing!"

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

14. "So, Lone Starr. Yogurt has taught you well. If there's one thing I despise, it is a fair fight. But if I must, then I must. May the best man win. Put 'er there."

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

15. "Raspberry. There's only one man who would dare give me the raspberry: Lone Starr!"

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

16. "Ludicrous Speed, Go!"

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

Funny Quotes And Dialogues From The Movie

Here are some of the funny quotes from 'Spaceballs', so climb aboard the escape pod and escape into these quotes!

17. "Col. Sandurz: We need you sir!

Lord Dark Helmet: Knock on my door! Knock next time!"

- 'Spaceballs'.

18. "Yogurt: Well, you opened your fortune cookie, so here's your fortune. Lone Starr, you know that medallion that you wear around your neck, but you don't know what it means? Well, here's what it means. It's a royal birth certificate. Yes! Your father was a king. Your mother was a queen. Which makes you a certified prince.

Lone Starr: Hey, I'm a prince! I'm a prince!"

- 'Spaceballs'.

19. "Self-Destruct Voice: Ten... nine... eight... six...

President Skroob: Six? What happened to seven?

Self-Destruct Voice: Just kidding!"

- 'Spaceballs'.

20. "Self-Destruct Voice: This ship will self-destruct in twenty seconds. This is your last chance to push the cancellation button.

President Skroob: Cancellation button? Hurry!"

- 'Spaceballs'.

21. "One pod left and three of us, and I'm the president. Well boys it's a very lovely ship, I think you should go down with it. Goodbye. What the hell's the matter with this seat belt? Ahhh!"

- 'Spaceballs'.

22. "So, Princess Vespa, you thought you could outwit the imperious forces of Planet Spaceball. Well, you were wrong. You are now our prisoner, and you will be held hostage until such time as all of the air is transferred from your planet to ours."

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

23. "Say goodbye to your two best friends, and I don't mean your pals in the Winnebago."

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

24. "I hate it when my Shwartz gets twisted!"

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

25. "President Skroob: Did it work? Where's the king?

Dark Helmet: It worked, sir. We have the combination.

President Skroob: Great. Now we can take every last breath of fresh air from Planet Druidia. What's the combination?

Colonel Sandurz: 1-2-3-4-5

President Skroob : 1-2-3-4-5?

Colonel Sandurz: Yes!

President Skroob: That's amazing. I've got the same combination on my luggage."

- 'Spaceballs'.

26. "I'm a Mawg. Half-man, half-dog. I'm my own best friend."

- Barf, 'Spaceballs'.

27. "It's either the 4th of July or someone's trying to kill us!"

- Dot Matrix, 'Spaceballs'.

28. "Lone Starr: But Yogurt, what if I never see you again?

Yogurt: Don't worry about it! We'll meet again in 'Spaceballs 2: The Quest For More Money'"

- 'Spaceballs'.

29. "Barf: What the hell was that?!

Lone Starr: Spaceball One...

Barf : They've gone to plaid!"

- 'Spaceballs'.

30. "Lord Dark Helmet: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the move?

Col. Sandurz: Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now.

Lord Dark Helmet: Go back to then!

Col. Sandurz: What?"

- 'Spaceballs'.

31. "Colonel Sandurz: Once we kidnap the princess, we will force her father, King Roland, to give us the combination to the air shield, thereby destroying Planet Druidia and saving Planet Spaceball.

Dark Helmet: Everybody got that? Good!"

- 'Spaceballs'.

32. "Colonel Sandurz : Prepare ship for light speed.

Dark Helmet : No, no, no, light speed is too slow.

Colonel Sandurz : Light speed, too slow?

Dark Helmet : Yes, we're gonna have to go right to ludicrous speed."

- 'Spaceballs'.

33. "Yogurt: May the schwartz be with you!"

- 'Spaceballs'.

34. "Dark Helmet: Now what is it?

Radar Technician: I'm having trouble with the radar, sir.

Dark Helmet: What's wrong with it?

Radar Technician: I've lost the bleeps, I've lost the sweeps, and I've lost the creeps.

Dark Helmet: The what?

Radar Technician: You know. The bleeps."

- 'Spaceballs'.

35. "Dark Helmet: Hey, hey, hey! That's my escape pod. Who are you?

Bearded Lady: I am the Bearded Lady. What are you? One of the freaks?"

- 'Spaceballs'.

36. "It's not that we're afraid, far from it, it's just that we've got this thing about death... It's not us!"

- Barf, 'Spaceballs'.

37. "Dark Helmet: Before you die there is something you should know about us, Lone Starr.

Lone Starr: What?

Dark Helmet: I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

Lone Starr: What's that make us?

Dark Helmet: Absolutely nothing! Which is what you are about to become."

- 'Spaceballs'.

38. "What the hell am I looking at? "

- Lord Dark Helmet, 'Spaceballs'.

Quotes From Minor Characters

Here are some of the famous 'Spaceballs' quotes that happen in the movie from the minor characters.

39. "You idiots! These are not them! You've captured their stunt doubles!"

-Captain Of The Guard, 'Spaceballs'.

40. "It's my industrial-strength hair-dryer, and I can't live without it!"

- Princess Vespa, 'Spaceballs'.

41. "Excuse me. I'm trying to conduct a wedding here which has nothing to do with love. Please be quiet!"

- Druidian Priest, 'Spaceballs'.

42. "No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your dolls again!"

- Colonel Sandurz, 'Spaceballs'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 'Spaceballs' quotes then why not take a look at Spock quotes, or '80s movie quotes?

Main image credit: Markus Wissmann / Shutterstock.com

Article image credit: Markus Wissmann / Shutterstock.com

Written By
Srija Chanda

<p>An aspiring media professional, Srija is currently pursuing her Master's degree in Mass Communication at St. Xavier's University, Kolkata, after completing her degree in journalism. With experience in PR and social media, she has also honed her leadership skills through her participation in a youth parliament. Srija's interests include devouring books, watching movies, and exploring new places through travel.</p>

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