15+ Best The Cable Guy Quotes That All Jim Carrey Fans Will Love | Kidadl


15+ Best The Cable Guy Quotes That All Jim Carrey Fans Will Love

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'The Cable Guy' is a comedy film and the story is about an eccentric lonely cable guy.

He wants to have a new best friend, but when the person whom he wants to be friend with rejects him he creates havoc in his life. Jim Carrey stars in ‘The Cable Guy’.

Cable guy has a great cast including Ben Stiller and Jim Carey. The movie still enjoys a great fan following across the world. The punchline in the movie "There's no such thing as free cable. Once you're hooked...you're his," laying the foundation for a hilarious laugh riot. The theme song,'This concludes our broadcast day', also became quite famous. In this article you will find the best ‘The cable Guy quotes’.

If you find these 'The Cable Guy' quotes and sayings interesting, then you will surely love Jim Carrey quotes and 'The Mask' quotes too.

Hilarious 'The Cable Guy' Quotes

The movie ‘The Cable Guy’ is full of interesting lines and dialogues from great actors like Ben Stiller and Jim Carey. Here we have brought some of the most amazing 'The Cable Guy' quotes from the movie for you to enjoy.

1. “You were never there for me were you mother? You expected Mike and Carol Brady to raise me! I'm the bastard son of Claire Huxtable!”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

2. “Rick: Look, Chip Douglas, I don't know what your story is, but I'm going to find out!

Chip Douglas: Well, don't dig to deep or you might get burnt by the molten lava!”

- ‘The Cable Guy’(1996).

3. “You might recognize this song as performed by Jefferson Airplane, in a little rockumentary called ‘Gimme Shelter,’  about the Rolling Stones and their nightmare at Altamont. That night the Oakland chapter of the Hell's Angels had their way. Tonight, it's my turn.”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’(1996).

4. “Dry land is not a myth. I've seen it. Kevin Costner. Waterworld. I don't know what the big fuss is about. I saw that movie nine times. It rules!”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

5. “The future is now. Soon every American home will integrate their television, phone and computer....You can do your shopping at home, or play Mortal Kombat with a friend from Vietnam. There's no end to the possibilities.”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

6. “Chip Douglas: Hello, Steven, I came as soon as I could.

Steven:  What's your real name?

Chip Douglas: It's Larry Tate, but that's not what's important right now. We have to get you out of here. I was watching Court TV and I found a loophole in your case. I'm gonna talk to the judge about a writ of Habeas Corpus. I'll put the system on trial.

Steven:  Why are you doing this to me?

Chip Douglas:  I didn't do this to you, you did this to you.”

- ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

7. “Dos thus have thou a mug of ale for me and me mate, for he hath been pitched in battle for a fortnight and has the king's thirst for the frosty brew dos thou might have for thus!”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

8. “I am a Lost Cunningham! I learned the facts of life from watching The Facts of Life! Oh God!”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’(1996).

9. “Chip Douglas: When your love is truly given, it will come back to you tenfold.

Steven: You're right. That's incredibly insightful.

Chip Douglas: I know. It was Jerry Springer's Final Thought on Friday's show.”

- ‘The Cable Guy’(1996).

10. “Chip Douglas : Sounds like heart break to me

Steven Kovacs:  Well I really don't want to discuss it with you. Could you just install my cable please? I'm gonna go get dressed.

Chip Douglas: Suit yourself. No sweat off my sac. Oh by the way, you might wanna put on a bathing suit 'cause you'll be channel surfing in no time!”

- ‘The Cable Guy’(1996).

11. “I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter.”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

12. “Women are a labyrinth, my friend. Can I be frank? I don't think you listen to her. I think you tell her what she wants to hear. She wants you to thirst for knowledge about who she is, all the complicated splendor that is women.”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

Funny 'The Cable Guy' Quotes

'The Cable Guy' is regarded as a cult classic comedy movie for its sheer hilarity. Read on for some of the funniest 'The Cable Guy' quotes.

Happy family watching tv and eating popcorn at home at night.

13. “You can watch the Louvre on one channel or watch female mud-wrestling on another!”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

14. “Yeah, I was taking a shower and I heard the phone ring. Has that ever happened to you? Call me back later, we'll talk about it.”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

15. “I love food: biscuits and gravy, cheese grits, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken-fried steak with white gravy... but my favorite dish is my wife's beanie weenie cornbread casserole. It's so good. It sounds stupid, but if you eat it, it's heaven. Of course, it's only something you can eat if you've got a lot of money.”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

16. “I got you the big screen TV, deluxe karaoke machine, and THX quality sound that would make George Lucas .....!”

- Chip Douglas, ‘The Cable Guy’ (1996).

17. “Steven : You know, my brother is a speech therapist

Chip Douglas : Tho?”

- ‘The Cable Guy’(1996).

18. “Steven Kovacs : I hate you! Get out of my life!

Chip Douglas : He's projecting all of his anger onto me. Maybe I should go.”

- ‘The Cable Guy’(1996).

19. “Steven Kovacs: Hey, wait, come back!

Chip Douglas: Well look who decided to show.

Steven Kovacs: You were supposed to be here 4 hours ago.

Chip Douglas: Was I? So I'm the tardy one?

Steven Kovacs: Yeah, I was gonna go to that bed and bath place and now it's closed..”

- ‘The Cable Guy’(1996).

20. “Steven: Can I get a knife or fork?

Wench: There were no utensils in medieval times, hence there are no utensils AT Medieval Times. Would you like a refill on that Pepsi?

Steven: There were no utensils but there was Pepsi?

Wench : Dude, I got a lot of tables.”

- ‘The Cable Guy’(1996).

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 'The Cable Guy' quotes, then why not take a look at Ace Ventura quotes, or 'School Of Rock' quotes.

main image credit: Burdun Iliya / Shutterstock.com

Written By
Kidadl Team

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