Top 15 Most Sarcastic Jeff Goldblum Jurassic Park Quotes

Monisha Kochhar
Feb 29, 2024 By Monisha Kochhar
Originally Published on Mar 12, 2021
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Realistic model of a Amphicoelias dinosaur in the Dino Park of Algar.
Age: 0-99
Read time: 4.8 Min

Jeffrey Lynn Goldblum is an American actor known famously for his roles in movies like 'Jurassic Park' and 'Independence Day'.

Dr. Ian Malcolm is an iconic side character played by Jeff Goldblum in 'Jurassic Park', 'Jurassic Park 1', and its sequels. Ian Malcolm also featured in various Jurassic-themed media, including comic books, video games, and toy lines.

'Jurassic Park' is a dinosaur thriller directed by Steven Speilberg based on the Michael Crichton novel. In Hollywood, 'Jurassic Park' ushered in a new age of summer blockbusters. The movie revolves around dinosaurs, scientists, visitors, and amusement park workers testing the dinosaur park on the remote Isla Nublar, off the coast of Costa Rica, before the park's opening. John Hammond is the creator of the theme park made of cloned dinosaurs. After an incident of a dinosaur getting killed, the park investors rethink safety and invite Dr. Malcolm, Dr. Grant, and Dr. Ellie Sattler to check upon the safety and certify the park. Lex and Tim Murphy also join the group for a tour of the park. With missing dinosaurs, stumbling across triceratops, a tropical storm, it's safe to say that things do not go as planned. A park employee tries to steal dinosaur embryos, vital security devices are disabled, and the island becomes a race for survival with dinosaurs running freely. The movie ends with Hammond accepting the theme park as a failure and boarding the helicopter with Malcolm and the other group.

'Jurassic Park' is a three-time Oscar-winning movie and has been the highest-grossing film of all time for several years. The film was so well-received that it spawned two immediate sequels and the 'Jurassic World' sequel trilogy, which began in 2015. Comparing the 'Jurassic Park' trilogy and the 'Jurassic World' trilogy would be a tricky task. Both the trilogies have their highs and lows. However, the first season of 'Jurassic Park' is much superior to everything else.

Here are our picks for the iconic quotes from the 'Jurassic Park' movie. You may read similar quotes on 'Jurassic Park' quotes and sarcastic quotes.

Best Lines By Dr. Ian Malcolm Played By Jeff Goldblum

Opened book, glasses, pink roses on white background.

Ian Malcolm, portrayed by Jeff Goldblum, has been recognized as the most enduring character of the 'Jurassic Park' franchise. Dr. Ian Malcolm is Jeff Goldblum's most famous character. He is a noted mathematician brought in to test the dinosaur theme park viability. For his role in 'Jurassic Park', Goldblum was nominated for a Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actor. He has some to the finest quotes in the movie. "Must go faster" is one such simple quote used in many iconic action sequences in 'Jurassic Park' and has been repeated by Jeff Goldblum in his other movie 'Independence Day'. "Life finds a way" is also a signature line by Ian Malcolm and is synonymous with Goldblum. He had an acerbic wit and a humourous nature. He certainly has the quotes to prove his sarcastic and funny side.

1."I'm, I'm simply saying that life, uh... finds a way."

-Ian Malcolm.

2."Must go faster."

-Ian Malcolm.

3. "But again, how do you know they're all female? Does somebody go out into the park and pull up the dinosaurs' skirts?"

-Ian Malcolm.

4."Don't you see the danger, John, inherent in what you're doing here? Genetic power is the most awesome force the planet's ever seen, but you wield it like a kid that's found his dad's gun."

-Ian Malcolm.

5."See, here I'm now by myself, uh, talking to myself. That's, that's chaos theory."

-Ian Malcolm.

6."God help us, we're in the hands of engineers."

-Ian Malcolm.

7."(after running away form the T-Rex) You think they'll have that on the tour?"

-Ian Malcolm.

8."John, the kind of control you're attempting simply is... it's not possible. If there is one thing the history of evolution has taught us it's that life will not be contained. Life breaks free, it expands to new territories and crashes through barriers, painfully, maybe even dangerously, but, uh... well, there it is."

-Ian Malcolm.

9."Remind me to thank John for a lovely weekend."

-Ian Malcolm.

Hilarious Ian Malcolm Quotes

Dr. Ian Malcolm quotes truly are hilarious. His wit and sarcasm make him a great character and his lines some of the most memorable. Take a look at these quotes and funny lines from his conversations with the other scientists in 'Jurassic Park'.

10."Dr. Ellie Sattler: So, what are you thinking?

Dr. Alan Grant: We're out of a job.

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Don't you mean extinct?"

-'Jurassic Park.'

11."Dr. Ian Malcolm: God creates dinosaurs, God destroys dinosaurs. God creates Man, man destroys God. Man creates dinosaurs.

Dr. Ellie Sattler: Dinosaurs eat man..... Woman inherits the earth."

-'Jurassic Park.'

12."John Hammond: I don't think you're giving us our due credit. Our scientists have done things which nobody's ever done before...

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn't stop to think if they should."

-'Jurassic Park.'

13."John Hammond: All major theme parks have delays. When they opened Disneyland in 1956, nothing worked!

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Yeah, but John, if The Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists."

-'Jurassic Park.'

14."Dr. Ian Malcolm: Ah, now eventually you do plan to have dinosaurs on your, on your dinosaur tour, right? Hello? (tapping camera) Hello? Yes?

John Hammond: I really hate that man."

-'Jurassic Park.'

15."Dr. Alan Grant: You're married?

Dr. Ian Malcolm: Occasionally. Yeah, I'm always on the lookout for a future ex-Mrs. Malcolm."

-'Jurassic Park.'

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Jeff Goldblum 'Jurassic Park' quotes, then why not take a look at Ian Malcolm quotes, or Tony Stark quotes.

Main image credit: Alex Tihonovs /

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Written by Monisha Kochhar

Bachelor of Arts Hons specializing in Modern Languages (French and Spanish)

Monisha Kochhar picture

Monisha KochharBachelor of Arts Hons specializing in Modern Languages (French and Spanish)

A Modern Languages graduate from the University College London, Monisha with a passion for travel and exploring different cultures. She is fluent in French and Spanish and is currently learning Hindi. Monisha enjoys discovering new foods and is an avid sports fan, following soccer and Formula 1. In her spare time, she enjoys playing tennis and watching TV shows.

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