100 Best 'Scrubs' Quotes From The Sacred Heart Hospital Gang

'Scrubs' is about the journey of an intern named John Dorian in a dysfunctional hospital.

The show started in 2001 and ran all the way till 2010. There are a total of nine seasons of this American sitcom.

John Dorian, Doctor Bob Kelso, and Doctor Cox are some of the famous characters which the audiences welcomed with open arms. Here you may find some of their best quotes from the series.

If you like this article about 'Scrubs' quotes, you may also like ['Parks and Rec' quotes] and ['Schitt's Creek' quotes].

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Best 'Scrubs' Quotes

Here are 'Scrubs' quotes on how lucky you are and others on being happy, and even 'Scrubs' janitor quotes.

1. "While I'm sitting at home, staring at the ceiling, just wishing that I had someone to talk to, is knowing that none of you idiots realize how lucky you are!"

- John Dorian.

2. "Nothing is more important than making time for an old friend."

- John Dorian.

3. "Sometimes in life when you get what you want, you end up missing what you left behind."

- John Dorian.

4. "Even if it breaks your heart to be 'just friends,' if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit."

- John Dorian.

5. “Maybe our parents did a better job than we give them credit for."

- John Dorian.

6. "I never really believed that you would or could love me. But just pretending for today made me feel good for a change."

- Janitor.

7. "The truth is, you should consider yourself lucky if you even occasionally get to make someone-anyone-feel a little better.”

- John Dorian.

8. "It's hard to face a harsh truth about yourself. The only thing you can do, is try to take positive steps."

- John Dorian.

9. "I think one of the most universal human experiences is feeling alone. You'd never know it, but there's most likely tons of people feeling the exact same way."

- John Dorian.

10. "Cole: I already know what I'm going to call my surgical practice. Cole Cutz.

Turk: With a z?

Cole: That's right!"

- 'Scrubs'.

11. “Nothing in this world, that's worth having comes easy.”

- Dr. Kelso.

12. “It's funny, I guess sometimes when you do nothing at all, things just have a way of fixing themselves.”

- John Dorian.

13. "In the end, it's about integrity, and it's about chasing after what you really want, even if that means showing you both care a little."

- John Dorian.

14. “Who the hell cares about what anybody else thinks? Just look into your heart and do whatever the hell makes you happy.”

- Dr. Kelso.

Famous 'Scrubs' Quotes

Here are some of the most famous 'Scrubs' quotes.

15. “There are a few things I've always believed in. Flowers are good for any occasion."

- John Dorian.

16. "It's like a passion for something you never knew you had. Or the ability to constantly surround yourself with people who love you.”

- John Dorian.

17. "Why is there silverware in the pancake drawer?"

- Carla Espinosa.

18. "I know that you don't think about me the way that I think about you."

- John Dorian.

19. "Whether it's the support of someone close to you, or letting yourself feel overwhelmed - if only for a moment."

- John Dorian.

20. "Great, we made him cry. If we keep this up, we are gonna scar him for life!"

- Jordan.

21. "John Dorian: I think you won't face Ben because you're afraid.

Dr. Cox: I think you're right. I do. Partly because you've really gotten to know me this year, but mostly it's because well...I told you that I was afraid earlier today."

- 'Scrubs'.

22. "The truth is, it's all of your memories, the joyful ones and the heartbreaking ones, that make up who you are as a person."

- John Dorian.

23. “Statistics mean nothing to the individual. Not a damn thing.”

- Perry Cox.

24. "You're just like me. You're scared because you feel like you haven't accomplished anything with your life."

- John Dorian.

25. "Relationships don't work the way they do on television and in the movies. Will they, won't they, and then they finally do, and they're happy forever."

- Dr. Cox.

26. "When one person dies, another person gets a chance to live. I like to call it the circle of life."

- John Dorian.

27. "I guess we all want to believe that what we do is very important, that people hang on to our every word, that they care what we think."

- John Dorian.

28. "The simple fact that you seem to even care is why I took an interest in you to begin with. It's why I trust you as a doctor."

- Dr. Cox.

29. “Actually, it’s not a helmet. It’s a hair-met. It has extra room so you don’t mess up your hairdo.”

- John Dorian.

30. "Why is there an intern in my bathroom?"

- Jordan.

31. "It's about the day I realized, that admitting we're not heroic, is when we're the most heroic of all."

- John Dorian.

32. "Okay, look, attention roof-poopers! Setting aside, for a moment, the fact that I’m going to make sure that you all live to regret this day."

- Janitor.

33. "I'll always dial the K for you."

- John Dorian.

34. "I'm getting two out of three from the conversation."

- Dr. Cox.

35. “I grew up on the street... No, not the hood. The Sesame Street.”

- John Dorian.

36. "You think you have the answers to everything, but instead you end up throwing gas on the fire, and everyone else has to pay the consequences."

- Carla Espinosa.

37. "Maybe the mistake we make is thinking our parents will change."

- John Dorian.

38. "Oh dear God, you’ll scream so loud that Satan will want to tear up that contract he made with you at birth just so he can get some sleep."

- Dr. Cox.

39. “In the end, you have to trust that the perfect woman will always lead you in the right direction.”

- John Dorian.

40. "Why does this Gomer have to try and die every day during my lunch?"

- Dr. Cox.

41. "Danni Sullivan: Do you even enjoy hanging out with me?

John Dorian: Enjoy is a strong word."

- 'Scrubs'.

42. "You’d better go ahead and enjoy this while you can, Bob, because if your evil genie goes ahead and grants your wish and I’m gone forever then the only one your going to be able to contend with around here is yourself."

- Dr. Cox.

43. "It’s not a unicorn, it’s a horse with a sword on its head that protects my hopes and dreams."

- John Dorian.

44. "Lucy: Why are you eating your lunch in here?

Denise: Why are you yelling at a dead guy? See, we all have a lot of questions."

- 'Scrubs'.

45. "This moment is so great I’d cheat on that other moment from before, marry this one and raise a family of little moments!"

- Dr. Cox.

46. "Speaking of crunching, I have been jonesing for some Double-Stuff Oreos all day. Why don't you see if you can get me some?"

- Dr. Kelso.

47. "What is it with steel wool? Is it steel? Is it wool?"

- Janitor.

48. "Either way, when you hit that low point, you have a choice. You can either wallow in self-pity, or you can suck it up. It's your call."

- John Dorian.

49. "Don't ever be afraid to come to me about this kinda stuff, newbie."

- Dr. Cox.

Funny 'Scrubs' Quotes

Here are some Dr. Cox 'Scrubs' quotes and hilarious quotes from the other characters too.

50. “Carla: Just tell me when a minute's up.

Turk: I just put some pizza rolls on the microwave oven; the minute that rings we're good to go."

- 'Scrubs'.

51. “My first patient today was a snot-nosed person who wouldn’t let me examine him unless I said pretty please first."

- Dr. Cox.

52. "John Dorian: Why do you keep a globe on your janitor cart?

Janitor: In case I get lost."

- 'Scrubs'.

53. “This is not bring your problems to work Day, this is just work day.”

- Dr. Kelso.

54. "Karla: Elliot, you know how they say no one will ever love you until you learn to love yourself?

Elliot: Karla, my mother used to say no one will ever love you."

- 'Scrubs'.

55. "Let’s not tell anyone else that there’s a toilet on the roof…”

- Janitor.

56. "This is the reason your headache didn't go away. Sir the pills go in your mouth."

- Turk.

57. “You've been wrong so many times that I'm not even going to say something is wrong anymore."

- Dr. Cox.

58. "I don’t jump out and scare you. I follow you around all day. I only got about an hour and a half of work around here, and the rest of the time I track you, like an animal."

- Janitor.

59. "Newsflash, you can’t drink and then come to work. You’re not airline pilots."

- Dr. Cox.

60. "Next time, if you're not here in 30 minutes, I expect a free dead body or some garlic knots."

- Dr. Kelso.

61. "Oh, you know... you marry someone who reminds you of your mother, and then you remember you hate your mother."

- Dr. Cox.

62. “Dr. Cox: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present, man not caring. That's me!”

- Bill Lawrence.

63. "Jordan, you can take over the master bathroom. Just make sure you leave my sleeping pills out. So that I could, you know, swallow about 300 of them."

- Dr. Cox.

64. "Oh, that's a great anecdote. You should write that down in your journal, then your kids can read about it when you're dead."

- Dr. Kelso.

65. "Now, you've got to wake up, sweetheart, you're gonna be late for school- Aw, you wet the bed! Why can't I have a normal child without these problems?!"

- Dr. Cox.

66. "Dr. Dorian, I owe you an apology; obviously I was unclear when I said, stay in the MRI room with that patient. It must have sounded like, leave and do other things.”

- Dr. Kelso.

67. "I always thought a surgeon would hook me with some sweet calf implants or a robot arm, but I never thought one would save my life."

- Cole.

68. “I don’t want to hear anything out of that man’s mouth other than oh no, I’m dying, there’s a bright light."

- Dr. Cox.

69. “He doesn't know that I cry sometimes because... I'm not sure there's a cat heaven.”

- Carla Espinosa.

70. "I talk to myself, I talk to my cats and also I talk to three separate shrinks about the fact that often my cats respond to me in my mother's voice."

- Elliot.

71. "You don't want to be a surgeon, Cole, it's boring and it sucks. It's the complete opposite of a water slide."

- Turk.

72. “Ah, back when I was a resident I remember…blah, blah, blah, nostalgic story. Now get the hell out of my office!”

– Dr. Kelso.

73. "You know, the only way you could be more useless right now is if you actually were the wall."

- Dr. Cox.

74. “Yeah, I'm not that great with kids. They've got such tiny hands. It's creepy.”

- Elliot.

75. "Come on, we talked about thinking before we speak."

- Carla Espinosa.

76. "Maybe there, amid all the crap they dumped on us, are some things worth keeping."

- John Dorian.

77. "John Dorian: But call-turk is eight numbers.

Turk: I know, actually it's just call-tur, but I'm hoping people will dial the K anyway."

- 'Scrubs'.

78. "Yeah, anytime I talk to Carla about a guy, she tells me to marry him so the four of us can go to dinner together."

- Elliot.

79. “Death doesn’t really bother me unless it’s someone I know. And even then, if it happens in a funny way, like my cousin who, honest to God, was flattened by a steamroller."

- Perry Cox.

80. “John Dorian: Well, I still want to refer you to a dermatologist, but it looks benign.

Janitor: Yeah, benign, nine and a half...”

- 'Scrubs'.

81. “I’m gonna write you a couple of prescriptions. You’ll find this first one is for an oversized mallet so you can pound some sense into yourself."

- Dr. Cox.

82. “John Dorian: You're an actor!

Janitor: You're a fireman! What are we doing?”

- 'Scrubs'.

83. “I don’t believe in the moon. I think it’s just the back of the sun.”

– Janitor.

84. "Elliot, I'm thirty years old; I'm single, I'm homeless, and I'm pretty sure I just soiled myself."

- John Dorian.

85. “I’m tired of patients complaining about being called dummos, tubbos and jamokers. Whatever the hell jamokers means.”

– Dr. Kelso.

86. "Carla: Tell me my husband loves me more than he loves you.

John Dorian: It’s about the same.

Carla: I’ll take it.”

- 'Scrubs'.

87. “Oh my God! I’m gagging and vomiting at the same time. I’m gavomiting!”

- Perry Cox.

88. "Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?

John Dorian: No, I was just trying to make conversation.

Janitor: If I find a penny in there… I’m taking you down."

- 'Scrubs'.

89. “Dr. Kelso: Do you think I got to be chief of medicine by being late?

Dr. Cox: No. You got there by back-stabbing"

- 'Scrubs'.

90. “Elliot: Carla, if your wedding ceremony's gonna be in Spanish, how will I know that you're officially married?

Carla: Cause all my cousins will throw tortillas in the air and fire their guns."

- 'Scrubs'.

91. "Do you see what you get Carla?! Do you see what you get when you mess with the warrior?!"

- Turk.

92. "John Dorian: Ted we found you in the park throwing stones at old people.

Ted: Why should they be happy?"

- 'Scrubs'.

93. "Oh My God! I care so little, I almost passed out!"

- Dr. Cox.

94. "So now, to commemorate the first of many disruptions of your life, I've invited Laverne's church choir here to summarize my feelings in exuberant song."

- John Dorian.

95. “It’s a hip-hop world, Keep up or get out of the way.”

- Bob Kelso.

96. "Carla: How will you react if we have a boy who wants to dance?

Turk: He can dance if he wants to...he can leave his friends behind... And enter the Safety Dance!"

- 'Scrubs'.

97. "The Lord didn't bless my wife with all ten fingers. She's only got Pointer and thumb-Pinky"

- Janitor.

98. "I'm sorry, I was thinking about soup..."

- Dr. Kelso.

99. "I'm a man. And men don't carry purses."

- Turk.

100. "Dr. Kelso: Love cannot be scheduled.

Dr. Cox: I'm pretty sure your credit card would beg to differ."

- 'Scrubs'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for the article on 'Scrubs' quotes then why not take a look at 'Glee' quotes, or ['Big Bang Theory' quotes].