40 Farm Puns That Are Udderly Great

If you love engine-ious tractor puns, funny farmers, a good crop of straw puns, and baa-rilliant farmer puns, then you're in for a wheat treat with these hay-larious farming puns.

No need to plough the internet in search of punny farm jokes; we have the perfect harvest of corny wheat puns, a-moo-sing farmyard phrases, and farm country word play that will get every girl and boy cattle-ing with laughter. We don't like to milk things, and there's no need to beef things up, but we've definitely fielded a good one with these dairy funny farm puns.

It would be amiss of us to focus on all things farm without mentioning the name of the most famous fictional farmer of all-time; Old MacDonald. The traditional American nursery rhyme, thought to have originated over a hundred years ago, has been translated and adapted into many languages and is loved by children all over the world.

Good farmers, like Old MacDonald, enjoy spending a lot of time outdoors, get up early, and work long hours; come what may! Farmers help to provide people with food by growing crops or keeping animals. And farmyard animals are a lot cleverer than you may think. A cow has a sense of smell so strong that it's nose can search out scents up to six miles away. Pigs use 20 different noises to communicate with each other. And sheep can recognize members of their flock when they see them after years of separation.

Saddle up, these puns will put you on the right track for some farmyard fun.

1. Did you hear about the farmer who had a search-party looking for her lost chickens? Fortunately she tracked them down.

2. Farmers earn a meager celery, come home beet and just want to read the pepper, turn-ip the covers, en-dive into bed.

3. Did you hear about the farmer who had really sneaky sheep? He said they kept pulling the wool over his eyes.

4. Scarecrows love fruit, especially straw-berries.

5. When farmers are milking cows they talk about udder nonsense.

6.  I know a farmer who feeds his pigs sugar and vinegar. He likes sweet and sour pork.

7. Did you hear that the police turned up at the farm and arrested a turkey? The suspected fowl play.

8. A group of farmers couldn’t decide what type of crops to grow so they had a vote on it. It was a straw poll.

9. There’s a new talent show on TV for farmers. It’s called the X-Tractor.

10. It was 2am and the farmer still hadn’t gone to bed. He likes to wait until the cows come home.

Funny farm animals are fa-baa-ulous.  We love an a-moo-sing cow, a baa-onkers sheep, a daft dog, or a quackers duck.

11. The farm animal that is the best timekeeper is a watch dog.

12. Did you hear about the pig who is so big he won’t fit in his pen; there’s more to him than meets the sty.

13. Cows are the perfect audience to tell jokes to; they are really easy to a-moo-se.

14. Chicken’s like to bake cakes from scratch.

15. I once had a pig called ‘Ink’. It kept running out of the pen.

16. You will never shock a cow with anything you tell them; they’ve herd it all.

17. The best way to treat a sick pig is with oink-ment.

18. Did you hear about the farm animal who was sacred of absolutely everything? It was a total cow-herd.

19. A cow's favourite meal of the day is breakfast. They always have moo-esli.

20. Every sheep’s favorite sport is baa-dminton.

The sign of a funny farmer saying is just the right amount of corn-iness, and these farm sayings may just be a record crop.

21. As a farmer, I hear lots of jokes about sheep. I’d tell them to my dog but he’s herd them all.

22. I live my life by the seeds of my plants.

23. Fences should be horse-high, pig tight, and bull-strong.

24. Farming is in our nature.

25. Never do your sewing on a farm. You may end up looking for a needle in a haystack.

26. I know a farmer who only works from May to September. He says he likes to make hay while the sun shines.

27. You should never take a pig for grunted.

28. Mixed-up hens lay scrambled eggs.

29. Tough hens lay hard-boiled eggs.

30. Ducks get up at the quack of dawn.

Please feel free to share your favourite farm pun or joke; we're a site that likes others to reap what we sow.

31. Grain farmers have a tough life. They barley survive from wheat to wheat.

32. I tried to find my way through the farmer’s field but it was a maize.

33. You should never tell secrets on a farm because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears.

34. They say making hay is difficult, but it pretty seems rather cut and dried to me.

35. I knew a scarecrow who won the Nobel Prize; he was out standing in his field.

36. The day of the week most hated by potatoes is fry-day.

37. I’ve fallen out with my local farmer. I made plans with him but he baled. It was the final straw.

38. Farmers use pro-tractors when they want to make crop circles.

39. Magic tractors turn into fields.

40. Did you hear about the farmer who got tired and angry when he was making straw bales? He hit the hay.