50 Ali Wong Quotes

Ali Wong is an Asian American standup comedian.

Ali Wong is known for talking about matters such as maternity leave, and what it takes to be a great mom in society. She also recounts her experience of raising a baby girl with her audience.

Ali Wong has her own Netflix special named 'Hard Knock Wife'. She is known for her brutally honest accounts about pregnancy and stigma. She also talks about how women feel guilty about certain things after giving birth due to institutionalized stigma.

Read some of the funniest quotes by Ali Wong to have a laugh.

"People obsess about casting and representation, but really, all the real work is behind the camera. Casting an Asian American into a bad role where they're shoehorned into these stereotypes is worse than not having cast them at all."

"Stop dating skaters unless you wanna wake up on a mattress in a kitchen."

"To be a trophy wife, you have to be a trophy. I am more of a commemorative plaque."

"When you're a mom, you need sparkle to compensate for the light inside of you that has died."

"Breastfeeding is this savage ritual that just reminds you that your body is a cafeteria now."

"Mothering is just so different now from the way it was before. Especially with my mom. She was like the anti-helicopter mom. She was like an inflatable-tube, blow-up-flaming-in-the-pool mom. Her philosophy was, the situation will declare itself."

"You become like a vampire when you're pregnant: your senses are so sensitive, and your emotions are so heightened - that helps with performance because you really feel things."

"I think I went through puberty really late in life or something. I always looked like a little, sad Thai boy up until I was 26."

"I tried being a stay-at-home mom for eight weeks. I like the stay-at-home part. Not too crazy about the mom aspect."

"I tried being a stay-at-home mom for eight weeks. I like the stay-at-home part. Not too crazy about the mom aspect."

"Nothing is off-limits. There are just some things I cannot crack. Politics I can't do. When I start to talk about it, I just get really angry and super sincere. I have never found a way to craft all of that absurdity into funny."

"I'm addicted to picking my nose. In a world of red tape and bureaucracy, where it takes forever to buy a house or get a cell phone plan going, it's so instant to just stick your finger up there and go for something your own body produces."

"Whenever I feel mom-guilt, or I feel pressure to be a better mom - to cook salmon on a bed of quinoa for my kids - I just think to myself, ‘I... have... suffered... enough,' and then I feel fine about feeding my toddler a bag of chips for dinner."

"It's unfair to the hard-core stay-at-home moms to pretend you're able to have an amazing body by chasing around your kids."

"I joined a new mom group in Los Angeles."

"The biggest downside of L.A. is the traffic and parking tickets. They turn me into Michael Douglas in 'Falling Down'."

Read these witty quotes from Ali Wong on life to understand her perspective.

"I think feminism is the worst thing that ever happened to women. Our job used to be no job. We had it so good!"

"There are a lot of advantages to being with someone of your own race. Cultural shorthand makes it a lot easier. You don't have to constantly explain everything or act like a smiling tour guide for Asian American culture or deal with dietary differences."

"Stand-up comedy is something that you have to strive to do, multiple times a night, every night, to be good."

"My husband occasionally changes diapers, and when people hear that, confetti everywhere."

“Just because you become a parent doesn't mean you grew up.”

"I'll tell you how I balance family and career. I have a nanny."

"I can already see how there's, like, this crazy double standard in our society of how it takes so little to be considered a great dad."

"My parents emphasized experiential learning - in my family, being adventurous was a sign of maturity."

"I think one of the hardest things to talk about as a comic is having money because it's so unreliable."

"I'm discovering, and I think other mums are discovering too, that when you become a mum, you don't have to change into this frumpy, wholesome role model who is perfect and loses all of your identity. You can still have the same personality you've always had."

"Some people do specials, like, when they've only been doing comedy for three years or something. Which is fine! But I'm kind of old-fashioned, and I knew that I didn't want to do one too early."

"Just because you became a parent doesn't mean you grew up."

"My parents emphasized experiential learning - in my family, being adventurous was a sign of maturity."

"The audience is so important. Because there's something that I might think is super funny, but if it's just not getting the feedback, I have to let it go."

"A lot of women do stand-up as a gateway into acting, but I love stand-up, and to be a good stand-up, you have to go on the road a lot. It means going to places in America where they've never seen a Vietnamese person in their life."

"In giving birth, I knew that I would have to take a break after I had a baby; I just didn't know that it would be, like, six weeks long. Taking a six-week break was a very big deal for me. I have never taken that long of a break from stand-up other than on my honeymoon, which was 14 days long.

"There's something I want to say, and I haven't been able to articulate it yet, about how it's so rude when people don't admit that they have a nanny."

"Stand-up is no bureaucracy. No one can tell me what to do or not do."

"My goal is really to just make people laugh with integrity, like, with something that I still find funny."

"DIY stands for "you should've married someone with more money."

"I liked that improv and sketch comedy was collaborative, but you really depended on other people and a stage to perform. With stand-up comedy, I liked that you had no one else to blame and depend on."

"There's something I want to say, and I haven't been able to articulate it yet, about how it's so rude when people don't admit that they have a nanny."

"Comedy has so much to do with honesty, and women can be more open about their emotions."

(One of the matters that Ali Wong feels strongly about is that people should stop dating skaters.)

Read these writing quotes by Ali Wong to understand the process better.

"Writing is the lifeblood of everything in Hollywood. Without writers, there are no scripts, no acting work."

"The more socially conscious you are, the better the work you make."

"The answers to making it, to me, are a lot more universal than anyone's race or gender, and center on having a tolerance for delayed gratification, a passion for the craft, and a willingness to fail."

"You know what male comics can't do? They can't get pregnant. They can't perform pregnant. So my attitude is, just use all those differences."

“That's the difference between a great comic and a bad comic - one has great instincts and has a lot of compassion and can feel what's right and what's wrong.”

“I want to write my daughter something about how much I love her and what I would want to say to her before I die.”

“Every comic is taught that you're supposed to have a great seven-minute set and then get a sitcom. And I don't want to get the sitcom.”

Take a look at some love quotes by Ali Wong.

"My dad was obviously a really quirky, unconventional Asian man who didn't care about what other people thought. When he would fight with my mom, he would be really dramatic. He would be like, 'Devil, getaway, for I am God's property.' He would say crazy things that were so melodramatic but so theatrical and funny."

"My dream of having four children was replaced by utter gratitude that I was able to get pregnant three times, and give birth to two beautiful girls, who exhaust me spiritually, financially, and emotionally."

"Having a two-year-old is very hard. I feel like I'm in a relationship with an emotionally unstable woman who is also physically abusive and never gets in trouble for it."

"With my husband, I do really appreciate the fact that we - even though we're different kinds of Asian, there is a cultural shorthand between us, and I don't have to explain anything. I've dated guys before who weren't Asian-American, and it frustrated me when I would have to defend why beans belong in a dessert."

“Before my dad passed away, I would miss a lot of baby showers and weddings, sacrificed a lot of family and friend events for dumb road dates. I don't do that anymore. It's gone in the other direction. I'm more inclined to put family and friends first.”

"People are always very surprised by how, offstage with my husband, I'm a completely different person... very soft and nurturing."

"My husband and I went to Japan for our honeymoon, and you look at, like, the presentation of the food, and it's ridiculous. It looks like a Mondrian painting or something. Everything looks like a bunch of little Hello Kitty erasers when you eat a little bento box in Japan. It's so precise and beautiful and processed and neat."

"The most valuable thing my dad taught me was to never care about what other people thought. When he came to my shows, and I'd announce his presence, he'd stand up with his hands clasped in victory and cheer my name."

"Making people laugh was the only thing I ever truly excelled at. But at home, I was so quiet with my family, which taught me to be really observant."

"I'm always asked how my husband is feeling about my success with a note of concern. He feels great. It's not hard to feel good about your spouse making money."