55 Best Larry David Quotes From The Co-Creator Of Seinfeld

Deepthi Reddy
Dec 12, 2023 By Deepthi Reddy
Originally Published on Jan 29, 2021
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Larry David in a black coat
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Age: 0-99
Read time: 7.4 Min

A well-known comedian, writer, actor, director, and television producer Lawrence Gene David was born on 2 July 1947, in New York City, USA.

His works include 'Seinfeld' (1989), 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' (2000), and 'Whatever Works' (2009), etc.  Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld created an American sitcom television series 'Seinfeld' (1989-1998), which is considered among the most influential sitcoms of all time.  

As an actor, he worked in many films and television series. David wrote and directed ‘Sour Grapes’ (1998 ), which was well-received by the audience. He was part of films Woody Allen's 'Radio Days', 'New York Stories', and 'Whatever Works'.

Larry David's contribution to Seinfeld bagged him two Primetime Emmy Awards in 1993. 'Outstanding Comedy Series' and 'Outstanding Individual Achievement in Writing' in a Comedy Series.

He also received a total of 27 Primetime Emmy Award nominations, as well as three Golden Globe Award nominations and Laurel Award for TV Writing Achievement by the Writers Guild of America in 2010. He was also voted 23rd greatest comedy star ever in a 2004 British poll 'The Comedian's Comedian' by fellow comedians and comedy insiders.

From his near 40-year of comedic career, here a few pretty hilarious and inspiring quotes from Larry David. Do check out our other articles on Kramer quotes and [Jerry Seinfeld quotes].

Best Larry David Quotes

After he collaborated with Jerry Seinfeld, Larry David became one of the world's famous and wealthiest comedians. Following his life journey here, we have put together a few exciting quotes from Larry David.

1."I have reservations about everything I do."

-Larry David.

2."Anything that's for free, people will take. They don't discriminate."

-Larry David.

3."I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny."

-Larry David.

4.“A lie is a gesture, it’s a courtesy, it’s a little respect!”

-Larry David.

5.“Well, after the divorce, I went home and turned all the lights on!”

—Larry David.

6.“A good compromise is when both parties are dissatisfied.”

— Larry David.

7.“I can't stand reading anything that I've said.”

— Larry David.

8.“Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.”

— Larry David.

9.“I'm surprised sometimes at how some of my actions are misinterpreted.”

— Larry David.

10.“I don't like to make a big splash anyway.”

— Larry David.

11.“I think golf is literally an addiction. I'm surprised there's not Golf Anonymous.”

— Larry David.

12."I had a wonderful childhood, which is tough because it's hard to adjust to a miserable adulthood."

— Larry David.

13."I tend to stay with the panic. I embrace the panic."

— Larry David.

14."When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom."

-Larry David.

15.“I don’t like to say anything good. I feel like I’ll jinx myself.”

-Larry David.

16.“Can I apologize for the apology?”

— Larry David.

Larry David 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' Quotes

'Curb Your Enthusiasm', first premiered by HBO on 15 October 2000 has become a classic comedy sitcom for over 20 years. We have listed down a few iconic quotes from Larry David from 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

17.“I don’t think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It’s not even interesting to me.”

— Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

18."Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man--there's your diamond in the rough."

-Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

19.“I’m trying to elevate small talk to medium talk.”

-Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

20.“When I’m in social situations, I always hold onto my glass.”

— Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

21.“I just – I can’t stand the sound of the human voice."

-Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

22."Most people think I’m immodest.”

-Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

23.“I don’t like to be out of my comfort zone, which is about a half an inch wide.”

-Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

24.“You know who wears sunglasses inside?”

— Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

25.“When I’m in social situations I always hold onto my glass. It makes me feel comfortable and secure, and I don’t have to shake hands”

― Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

26."I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that heritage on and ensure that the misery will continue for at least one more generation."

—Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

27."It's always good to take something that's happened in your life and make something of it comedically."

-Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

28.“A date is an experience you have with another person that makes you appreciate being alone.”

— Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.

Larry David Quotes On His Success

Film director's wooden chair

Larry David began his career as a struggling stand-up comic in New York. He contributed as a television comedy writer for 'Fridays,' 'Saturday Night Live,' 'show about nothing,' and 'Seinfeld' which turned out to be the best shows of all time. Here are a few success quotes by Larry David.

29.“There’s nothing that reflects me. I’m unreflectable!”

-Larry David.

30."I'm really only happy when I'm on stage. I just feed off the energy of the audience. That's what I'm all about - people and laughter."

— Larry David.

31."When I was living in New York, there was a lot of screaming in my life. I would just get into these altercations all the time. Being in public, dealing with shopkeepers, just trying to cross the street – things like that.”

— Larry David.

32.“It's completely unprofessional. And I know because my whole career's been based on being unprofessional.”

— Larry David, 'Curb Your Enthusiasm', Season 1: AAMCO.

33."I've been in therapy. I know enough about myself now to know that I really don't need to know anymore."

-Larry David.

34.“I’m not a person who embraces challenges. I run from challenges. I break world records running from challenges.”

— Larry David.

35.“Religion doesn’t play any part in my life in terms of how I live my life. But I don’t think I’ve ever gone through a day in my life without hearing someone say the word ‘Jew’ or saying it myself."

— Larry David.

36."It's not every day that you get to be affectionate around something, it just doesn't happen that often."

— Larry David.

37."Until I started doing standup, there were some very bleak days."

— Larry David.

38."I'm a walking, talking enigma."

— Larry David.

39.“Let’s go upstairs and all get under the covers and sob!”

— Larry David.

40.“I'd rather have the thieves than the neighbors - the thieves don't impose. Thieves just want your things, neighbors want your time. I'd rather give them things than time.”

― Larry David.

41."OK, I'm happy. I'm happy. All right? I'm happy."

― Larry David.

42.“Actually I walk around with the Emmy wherever I go, but I’m very casual about it.”

— Larry David.

Larry David Funny Quotes

David is one of the best television writers in history who inspired numerous writers and comedians worldwide through his works.  As a tribute to all these years of the comedy he produced, we have collected a few hilarious one-liners, funny Jewish quotes of Larry David.

43.“Trying on pants is one of the most humiliating things a man can suffer that doesn't involve a woman.”

― Larry David.

44.“Women love a self-confident bald man.”

— Larry David.

45.“I tolerate lactose like I tolerate people.”

-Larry David

46.“I’m one of the idiots that negotiate after I write.”

-Larry David.

47.“You know, I’m really not that bright.”

-Larry David.

48.“Hey, mind your own business. How about that?”

— Larry David.

49.“I did, once, try and stop a woman who was about to get hit by a car. I screamed out 'Watch out!' and she said 'Don't you tell me what to do!'”

— Larry David.

50.“The addition of nuts in salad... I always find to be beneficial.”

— Larry David.

51."I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'"

— Larry David.

52."There's also a certain rhythm to the way Jews talk that might be funny."

— Larry David.

Larry David Quotes On Love

Read the following collection of love quotes and it will give you a glimpse of the comedic yet love timing of Larry David.

53."You have to discover when you're inadequate to be funny and you don't know you're inadequate when you're a kid."

— Larry David.

54.“Every relationship is just so tenuous and precarious.”

— Larry David.

55.“I love this dog, it's not very often you get the chance to be affectionate to something german.”

— Larry David.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Best Larry David Quotes then why not take a look at [Dwight Schrute quotes], or April Ludgate quotes.

Main image credit: Kathy Hutchins / Shutterstock.com

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Written by Deepthi Reddy

Master of Business Administration

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Deepthi ReddyMaster of Business Administration

With an MBA under her belt, Deepthi has discovered her true calling in content writing. Her writing repertoire is diverse, covering travel, movies, pet care, parenting, animals and birds, and more. Her joy of learning and creating has helped her craft well-written and engaging articles. When she isn't writing, Deepthi enjoys exploring new cultures, trying different foods, and spending quality time with her two children aged 7 and 12.

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