60+ Best Lemony Snicket Quotes You'll Love To Rediscover

'A Series Of Unfortunate Events' is one of the most famous children’s series in America.

The books have been turned into a series show on Netflix as well, starring Neil Patrick Harris as Count Olaf, Patrick Warburton as Lemony Snicket and Morena Baccarin as Beatrice. It was a three-season series that ran from 2017 to 2019.

Funny, witty and wise. Lemony Snicket serves as the narrator and a character both in Handler’s series of thirteen books 'A Series Of Unfortunate Events'.

This book has sold over 60 million copies and also made into a film in 2004 where Lemony Snicket was played by Jude Law who records the events of the film on his typewriter from inside a clock tower.

As a character, Lemony Snicket is one of the three children. He attended the V.F.D run boarding school in his childhood with Count Olaf and several other characters from the series.

He went on to become an obituary spell-checker and theater critic after graduating from school.

He gets accused by the police and others for several felonies throughout the series. He met and fell in love with his colleague Beatrice in VFD, to whom he later gets engaged.

When his death was falsely reported by a newspaper called The Daily Punctilio, Beatrice goes on to marry Bertrand Baudelaire becoming the mother to Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire.

Fourteen years later she and her husband were killed in their house leaving their kids orphaned. On knowing the kids were being pursued by Olaf, Snicket embarks on a journey to protect them until they become old enough to take care of themselves.

He sets on a mission to research and write about the life of the Baudelaire kids for many personal and legal reasons. However, it is made clear in the series several times that he never meets the kids and is unaware of their current location, position or status.

Snicket is often seen to be critical of himself calling himself a coward, ignoble and a murderer.

Daniel Handler came up with the pen name Lemony Snicket during his research for his first book 'The Basic Eight'. In an attempt to acquire information from organizations he found “offensive or funny”, he started using the pseudonym Lemony Snicket so that he wouldn’t have to use his real name.

He used the name in the book as well and thought it would be funny to publish the book under the character’s name.

Celebrating the rich character and author, we decided to bring to you a list where we have “chopped and mixed together” the best quotes from Lemony Snicket, and his famous book quotes “like chef's salads”. We hope you enjoy our collection of Lemony Snicket quotes and Lemony Snicket book quotes.

And if you do, make sure to check out our lists of funny Harry Potter quotes and Narnia quotes.

Funny Lemony Snicket Quotes

Lemony Snicket was one of the craziest, most funniest characters we ever loved. He had a talent for saying the profoundest of things in the silliest, most light hearted manner.

They’ll make you laugh but if you think about it, they’re also good food for thought. With that in mind, here are some of his best moments from his not so noble life topped with a “vinaigrette of confusion and conflict”.

   1. “There are some people who believe that home is where one hangs one's hat, but these people tend to live in closets and on little pegs.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   2. “People aren’t either wicked or noble. They’re like chef’s salads, with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together in a vinaigrette of confusion and conflict.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Grim Grotto'.

   3. “Reading is one form of escape. Running for your life is another.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The End'.

   4. “The three siblings were not born yesterday. Neither were you, unless of course I am wrong, in which case, welcome to the world, little baby, and congratulations on learning to read so early in life.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Penultimate Peril'.

   5. “Everyone should be able to do one card trick, tell two jokes, and recite three poems, in case they are ever trapped in an elevator.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   6. “A library is like an island in the middle of a vast sea of ignorance, particularly if the library is very tall and the surrounding area has been flooded.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   7. “There is no worse sound in the world than someone who cannot play the violin but insists on doing so anyway.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Austere Academy'.

   8. “It is always cruel to laugh at people, of course, although sometimes if they are wearing an ugly hat it is hard to control yourself.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   9. “Anyone who thinks the pen is mightier than the sword has not been stabbed with both.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'When Did You See Her Last?'

   10. “If writers wrote as carelessly as some people talk, then adhasdh asdglaseuyt[bn[ pasdlgkhasdfasdf.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   11. “I can see the headline now: ‘Murderer attempts to murder murderer’”.

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Hostile Hospital'.

   12. “Nobody knows what an idea will do when it goes off to entertain itself, particularly if the idea comes from a sinister villain.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Vile Village'.

   13. “Do the scary thing first, and get scared later.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'When Did You See Her Last?'.

   14. “It is one of the peculiar truths of life that people often say things that they know full well are ridiculous.”

- Lemony Snicket,'The Slippery Slope'.

   15. “Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don’t always like.”

- Lemony Snicket,'The Slippery Slope'.

   16. “They didn’t understand it, but like so many unfortunate events in life, just because you don’t understand doesn’t mean it isn’t so.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Bad Beginning'.

   17. “I suppose I’ll have to add the force of gravity to my list of enemies.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Penultimate Peril'.

   18. “If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Wide Window'.

   19. “In my opinion, children should be seen and not heard. I'm an adult, so it follows that I should be heard and not seen. That's why I work exclusively over the intercom.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Hostile Hospital'.

Lemony Snicket Quotes About Love

Lemony Snicket had a lot to say about love and he said it in his own style. Here are some of the best Lemony Snicket poems and Lemony Snicket love quotes to choose from.

This list contains some Lemony Snicket Beatrice quotes that were said about or to his beloved Beatrice about their love and how it made him feel. It’s rare to find such a love but when you do find it, you hold onto it.

   20. “When you think of me, she said quietly, think of a food you love very much.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Grim Grotto'.

   21. “It is a curious thing, but as one travels the world getting older and older, it appears that happiness is easier to get used to than despair.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The End'.

   22. “But I must admit I miss you terribly. The world is too quiet without you nearby.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Beatrice Letters'.

   23. “Anyone who gives you a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven is a friend for life.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'When Did You See Her Last?'

   24. “One of the remarkable things about love is that, despite very irritating people writing poems and songs about how pleasant it is, it really is quite pleasant.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   25. “Instead of the word 'love' there was an enormous heart, a symbol sometimes used by people who have trouble figuring out the difference between words and shapes.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Carnivorous Carnival'.

   26. "I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong."

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Beatrice Letters'.

   27. “Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   28. “If we wait until we’re ready, we’ll be waiting for the rest of our lives.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Ersatz Elevator'.

   29. “I will love you if never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Beatrice Letters'.

   30. “I will love you as a cufflink loves to drop from its shirt and explore the party for itself.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Beatrice Letters'.

   31. “You cannot wait for an untroubled world to have an untroubled moment.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Shouldn't You Be In School?'

   32. “In the meantime, it is best to grab what wonderful moments you find lying around.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Shouldn't You Be In School?'

   33. “For Beatrice, our love broke my heart, and stopped yours.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Carnivorous Carnival'.

   34. “Perhaps I should just bury myself and become a diamond after thousands of years of intense pressure.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Lump Of Coal'.

Lemony Snicket Quotes About Death

Snicket always said that people aren’t either wicked or noble. Life is never that simple.

But death treats everyone the same way. However, no two people will ever experience it the same way and you cannot know how it feels for someone unless you’ve gone through the same thing. Here are some of his quotes about death that will explain exactly what he meant to say all along.

   35. "Announcing your death should be like announcing that you are a lunar moth: It must be done quietly or it will not be believed."

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   36. "It is a sad truth that when someone has lost a loved one, friends sometimes avoid the person, just when the presence of friends is most needed."

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Bad Beginning'.

   37.  "Everybody will die, of course, sooner or later. Circus performers will die, and clarinet experts will die, and you and I will die...Everybody will die, but very few people want to be reminded of that fact."

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Austere Academy'.

   38. "If you have ever lost someone very important to you, then you already know how it feels, and if you haven't, you cannot possibly imagine it."

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Bad Beginning'.

   39. "Death is something you cannot escape, such as death, or a cheesecake that has curdled, both of which always turn up sooner later."

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   40. “The sad truth is the truth is sad.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Hostile Hospital'.

   41. “Grief, a type of sadness that most often occurs when you have lost someone you love, is a sneaky thing, because it can disappear for a long time, and then pop back up when you least expect it.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Carnivorous Carnival'.

   42. “This is my knife. It is very sharp and very eager to hurt you.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Reptile Room'.

Other A Series Of Unfortunate Events Quotes

This Daniel Handler series is like a salad with good things and bad things chopped and mixed together. He observes things about life and death and reading in general that makes you think about things. Here is a list of the best quotes from 'A Series Of Unfortunate Events' to read and ponder.

   43. “Just because you don't understand it doesn't mean it isn't so.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Blank Book'.

   44. “People don't always get what they deserve in this world.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Blank Book'.

   45. “Miracles are like meatballs, because nobody can agree what they are made of, where they come from, or how often they should appear.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Carnivorous Carnival'.

   46. “Some things in life are difficult to understand, even after years and years of thinking about them while wandering alone through desolate landscapes, usually during the off-season.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Bad Beginning'.

   47. “To Beatrice – My love flew like a butterfly, until death swooped down like a bat.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Miserable Mill'.

   48. “Unless you are a murderer or a taxidermist, it is rare to have actual skeletons in your closet as opposed to metaphorical ones.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Miserable Mill'.

   49. “Murder is the word for a group of crows, like a flock of geese or a herd of cows or a convention of orthodontists.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Vile Village'.

   50. “…you know that a good, long session of weeping can often make you feel better, even if your circumstances have not changed one bit.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   51. “Friends can make you feel that the world is smaller and less sneaky than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Austere Academy'.

   52. “Strange as it may seem, I still hope for the best, even though the best, like an interesting piece of mail, so rarely arrives, and even when it does it can be lost so easily.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Beatrice Letters'.

   53. “It is difficult, when faced with a situation you cannot control, to admit you can do nothing.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   54.

“I once threw myself down a flight of stairs rather than face even one moment with a milliner, at whose shop I quit working after discovering the sinister truth about her berets, only to find that the paramedic who repaired my fractured arm was a man who had fired me from a job playing accordion in his orchestra after only two and half performances of a certain opera.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Penultimate Peril'.

   55. “You don’t spend your life hanging around books without learning a thing or two.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Shouldn't You Be In School?'

   56. “It is one of life’s bitterest truths that bedtime so often arrives just when things are really getting interesting.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Grim Grotto'.

   57. “We represent the true human tradition, the one permanent victory over cruelty and chaos. We're an invincible army, but not a victorious one.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Shouldn't You Be In School?'

   58. “All the secrets of the world are contained in books. Read at your own risk.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'Horseradish'.

   59. “I'm afraid that's the wicked way of the world. Everything's covered in smoke and mirrors.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Penultimate Peril'.

   60. “You might be afraid of the dark, but the dark is not afraid of you. That's why the dark is always close by.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Dark'.

   61. “As I'm sure you know, to be in one's own room, in one's own bed, can often make a bleak situation a little better.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Wide Window'.

   62. “Even the best plans can change if there’s an accident.”

- Lemony Snicket, 'The Reptile Room'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for 60+ best Lemony Snicket quotes you'll love to rediscover, then why not take a look at ['Harry Potter' love quotes] or [short 'Harry Potter' quotes].