41+ Bob Hope Quotes From The Great Comedian, Actor And Entertainer

Bob Hope was an English-born comedian, actor, and author.

Bob Hope's birth name was Lester Townes Hope - which he changed to fit into the American show business. If you enjoy hilarious quotes and would like to see more, then we recommend you take a look at John Wayne quotes and Ron White quotes.

Born in England in 1903 - Bob Hope was a true celebrity. Many Bob Hope quotes and sayings have made their way into popular memory and the heart of the masses - such as Bob Hope golf quotes and Bob Hope funny quotes. He was not only a comedian, but also an actor, singer, author, and various other things throughout his career. Read on for some of the most popular Bob Hope quotes and sayings, and make sure you share them with your friends.

1. "Democrats have an answer to the unemployment problem. They're all running for the Presidency."

-Bob Hope.

2. "No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties"

-Bob Hope.

3. "If I have to lay an egg for my country, I'll do it."

-Bob Hope.

4. "I like a President who tells jokes instead of appointing them."

-Bob Hope.

5. "It's so cold here in Washington, D.C., that politicians have their hands in their own pockets."

-Bob Hope.

6. "I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected."

-Bob Hope.

7. "I don't know if the presidential candidates are running for the White House or Animal House."

-Bob Hope.

8. "I don't know what people have against government; they haven't done anything."

-Bob Hope.

9. "Where else but in America could the women's liberation movement take off their bras, then go on TV to complain about their lack of support?"

-Bob Hope.

10. "I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money."

-Bob Hope.

11. "Some people put us down. But I still haven't heard of any Americans trying to swim across the border into Mexico!"

-Bob Hope.

12. "Don't people know that they don't have to heckle the president of the United States? That's what Congress is for."

-Bob Hope.

13. "I have the perfect simplified tax form for government. Why don't they just print our money with a return address on it?"

-Bob Hope.

14. "The Governor has no presidential aspirations. In fact, he just made a tour of 43 states just to tell them he's not running for anything."

-Bob Hope.

Bob Hope as a comedian will win your heart. Bob Hope quotes and sayings from when he was a comedian will fill you with happiness and definitely take the cake away for being a truly hilarious comedian. His story of how he grew up with six brothers, or his adventures waiting for the bathroom, as well as when you know you're all getting old - all strike a chord with his audience. This England-born comedian had dominated the American comedy scene for years, and now, you can lighten your heart with the best of Bob Hope quotes too.

15. "People who throw kisses are hopelessly lazy."

-Bob Hope.

16. "The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off."

-Bob Hope.

17. "You know you're getting old when the candles cost more than the cake."

-Bob Hope.

18. "I have too much money invested in sweaters."

-Bob Hope.

19. "Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle"

-Bob Hope.

20. "The only thing chicken about Israel is their soup."

-Bob Hope.

21. "I don't feel old. I don't feel anything till noon. That's when it's time for my nap."

-Bob Hope.

22. "They'll always be an England, even if it's in Hollywood."

-Bob Hope.

23. "If you watch a game, it's fun. If you play it, it's recreation. If you work at it, it's golf."

-Bob Hope.

24. "I just hope I don't have to explain all the times I've used His name in vain when I get up there."

-Bob Hope.

25. "With today's movies, if we took out all the bad language, we'd go back to silent films."

-Bob Hope.

26. "Bigamy is the only crime where two rites make a wrong."

-Bob Hope.

27. "I grew up with six brothers. That's how I learned to dance - waiting for the bathroom."

-Bob Hope.

28. "The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast."

-Bob Hope.

29. "I love flying. I've been to almost as many places as my luggage."

-Bob Hope.

30. "I do benefits for all religions - I'd hate to blow the hereafter on a technicality."

-Bob Hope.

Sometimes, rather than being a comedian, Bob Hope quotes and sayings were known to deliver hard-hitting reality checks. He had taken up the mantle of an author as well as an actor for a very long time. Read on for some of the most famous Bob Hope quotes and sayings, and we promise you won't be able to choose just one favorite.

31. "I've always been in the right place and time. Of course, I steered myself there."

-Bob Hope.

32. "A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it."

-Bob Hope.

33. "My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?"

-Bob Hope.

34. "If you haven't got any charity in your heart, you have the worst kind of heart trouble."

-Bob Hope.

35. "Over the years, I have been subjected to many indignities, all for the sake of Art."

-Bob Hope.

36. "I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty."

-Bob Hope.

37. "I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful."

-Bob Hope.

38. "Chiropractic is a wonderful means of natural healing!"

-Bob Hope.

39. "A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live."

-Bob Hope.

40. "The best thing about growing older is that it takes such a long time."

-Bob Hope.

41. "When we recall the past, we usually find that it is the simplest things - not the great occasions - that in retrospect give off the greatest glow of happiness."

-Bob Hope.

42. "Until you've seen them, you have no conception of their courage."

-Bob Hope.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Bob Hope quotes then why not take a look at comedian quotes, or Stephen Fry quotes.

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