66 Clueless Quotes

Kidadl Says

The message that Clueless is really trying to get across is just how clueless we can all be. We all may, at some point, be totally clueless in our normal life, whether that is in our responses to others, the spending of our time and money, or even something as simple as what we say.

Introduction

If there’s one thing every teenage girl can relate to, it’s Cher Horowitz and her quirky group of friends in 'Clueless'.

This movie was released in 1995 as an American teen comedy film written and directed by Amy Heckerling. The movie became an instant hit with teens, especially girls, because of the high school life portrayed in the movie – parties, gossiping, relationships, and many other things.

While 'Clueless' may have some questionable views about consent, gender roles, and relationships in its portrayal of teenagers, it’s still one of the best depictions of teenage girlhood to date—particularly because it feels so relatable to many female viewers today. Cher is the main character in 'Clueless', and she is often referred to as Betty.

Betty is a popular girl who is pretty, stylish, and cool. The movie that made 'As If!' is the most famous quote in pop culture history.

So, here are some of our favorites that you may not have noticed before!

Cute Clueless Quotes

Here are some cute quotes from 'Clueless' that need to be brought back in a big way.

"Murray, I have asked you repeatedly not to call me 'woman'."
– Dionne.

"Daddy, some people lost all their belongings. Don’t you think that includes athletic equipment?"
-  Cher.

"I know it sounds mental, but sometimes I have more fun vegging out than when I go partying. Maybe because my party clothes are so binding."
- Cher.

"Oh, my God. I am totally buggin." 
- Cher.

 "Mel: Josh, are you still growing? 
You look taller than you did at Easter. 
Josh: I don’t think so. 
Mel: Doesn’t he look bigger? Cher: His head does."
- 'Clueless (1995)', Paramount Pictures.

"I so need lessons from you on how to be cool."
- Josh.

"She could be a farmer in those clothes."
- Amber.

"Cher’s saving herself for Luke Perry."
- Dionne.

"I was just totally clueless."
- Cher.

"Phat! Did you write that?"
- Dionne.

"I feel like such a bonehead."
-  Cher.

"Whatever!"
- Amber.

"Rollin’ with the homies."
- Tai.

"I had an overwhelming sense of ickiness."
- Cher.

"Old people can be so sweet."
- Cher.

“Let’s do a makeover!” 
- Cher.

“You are a snob and a half.”
– Cher.

“I’m audi.” 
– Cher.

Thought-Provoking Clueless Quotes

Take a look at some of the thought-provoking quotes, you'll probably recognize some of them even if you haven't seen the movie or heard of it.

"Amber: Ms. Stoeger, my plastic surgeon doesn’t want me doing any activity where balls fly at my nose.
Dionne: Well, there goes your social life."
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Tai: Do you think she’s pretty?
Cher: No, she’s a full-on Monet.
Tai: What’s a Monet?
Cher: It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s OK, but up close, it’s a big old mess."
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Christian: Do you like Billie Holiday?
Cher: I love him."
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"He does dress better than I do, what would I bring to the relationship?"
-Cher.

"Do you prefer "fashion victim" or "ensembly challenged"?"
- Cher.

"Mel: Do you know what time it is?
Cher: A watch doesn’t really go with this outfit, daddy." 
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"You see how picky I am about my shoes, and they only go on my feet."
- Cher.

"Heather: It's just like Hamlet said, "To thine own self be true."
Cher: Hamlet didn't say that.
Heather: I think I remember Hamlet accurately.
Cher: Well, I remember Mel Gibson accurately, and he didn't say that. That Polonius guy did."
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Until mankind is peaceful enough not to have violence on the news, there’s no point in taking it out of shows that need it for entertainment value."
– Cher.

"Josh: Be seeing you.
Tai: Yeah, I hope not sporadically."
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"I would like to say this. Tardiness is not something you can do on your own.

Many, many people contributed to my tardiness. I would like to thank my parents for never giving me a ride to school, the LA city bus driver who took a chance on an unknown kid and last but not least, the wonderful crew from McDonalds who spend hours making those egg McMuffins without which I might never be tardy.

"- Travis.

"Everything I think and everything I do is wrong. I was wrong about Elton, I was wrong about Christian, and now Josh hated me. It all boiled down to one inevitable conclusion: I was just totally clueless."
- Cher.

"No, she’s a full-on Monet. It’s like a painting, see? From far away, it’s okay, but up close, it’s a big old mess."
– Cher.

"Josh: Do you have any idea what you’re talking about?
Cher: No. Why, does it sound like I do?" 
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Okay, so you're probably going, "Is this like a Noxzema commercial or what?" But seriously, I actually have a way normal life for a teenage girl."
- Cher 

"Daddy is so good, he gets $500 an hour to fight with people, but he fights with me for free because I’m his daughter."
- Cher.

Funniest Clueless Quotes

If you've ever wanted to remember some of the funniest quotes ever, here they are!

"Tai: I could really use some sort of herbal refreshment.
Dionne: Oh, well we do lunch in ten minutes. We don't have any tea, but we have Coke and stuff.
Tai: No sh*t. You guys got Coke here?
Dionne: Well, yeah.
Cher: Yeah, this is America."
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Cher: Would you call me selfish?
Dionne: No, not to your face." 
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Dear diary, I'm more fabulous than 5 minutes ago."
- Cher.

"Searching for a boy in high school is as useless as searching for meaning in a Pauly Shore movie."
– Cher.

"Oh, no. You don’t understand. This is an Alaïa."
- Cher.

"Josh: Just because my mom marries some guy does not mean he’s my stepfather.
Cher: Actually, Kato, that’s exactly what it means." 
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Josh: Hey, James Bond, in America we drive on the right side of the road.
Cher: I am. You try driving in platforms." 
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Cher: I'm still all red!
Dionne: Well I'm making you as white as I can, Cher!" 
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"I am totally butt crazy in love with Josh."
- Cher.

"Amber: Was I the only one listening? I thought it reeked.
Cher: No I believe that's your designer imposter perfume."
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

 "Okay, okay, so he is kind of a Baldwin."
- Cher.

"Cher, I don’t want to do this anymore. And my buns, they don’t feel nothin’ like steel." 
- Tai.

"Mel: What the hell is that?
Cher: A dress.
Mel: Says who?
Cher: Calvin Klein." 
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Dionne: Hello, that was a stop sign.
Cher: I totally paused!" 

"Josh: You look like Pippi Longstocking.
Cher: Well you look like Forrest Gump. Who's Pippi Longstocking?
Josh: Someone Mel Gibson never played." 
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Mel: So, what did you do in school today?
Cher: Well, I broke in my purple clogs."

Memorable Clueless Quotes

'Clueless' undoubtedly brings back memories of your own, so here are some of the most memorable lines from the movie.

"If I'm too good for him, then how come I'm not with him?"
- Tai. 

"She’s my friend because we both know what it’s like to have people be jealous of us."
– Cher. 

"It is one thing to spark up a doobie and get laced at parties, but it is quite another to be fried all day."
– Cher. 

"Wasn’t my mom a betty? She died when I was just a baby. A fluke accident during a routine liposuction. I don’t remember her, but I like to pretend she still watches over me."
– Cher. 

"Dionne and I were both named after great singers of the past who now do infomercials."
- Cher. 

"OK, but, street slang is an increasingly valid form of expression. Most of the feminine pronouns do have mocking, but not necessarily in misogynistic undertones." 
- Murray. 

"Ugh, as if!"
– Cher. 

"Josh: You know, if I ever saw you do something that wasn’t ninety percent selfish, I’d die of shock.
Cher: Oh, that’d be reason enough for me." 
- 'Clueless', Paramount pictures.

"Isn’t my house classic? The columns date all the way back to 1972."
- Cher. 

"Shouldn't you go to school on the East Coast? I hear girls at N.Y.U. aren't at all particular."
- Cher. 

"Suddenly a dark cloud settled over first period... I got a C in debate?"
- Cher. 

"Josh: We might get Marky Mark to plant a celebrity tree.
Cher: Oh how fabulous. Getting Marky Mark to take time from his busy pants dropping schedule to plant trees." 
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"So okay, I don’t want to be a traitor to my generation and all but I don’t get how guys dress today.

I mean, come on, it looks like they just fell out of bed and put on some baggy pants and take their greasy hair – ew – and cover it up with a backward cap and we’re supposed to swoon?

I don’t think so! "- Cher.

"Cher: I want to do something for humanity.
Josh: How about sterilization?"
- 'Clueless', Paramount Pictures.

"Anything you can do to draw attention to your mouth is good."
- Cher.

“Where you been all weekend? What’s up? You been jeepin’ around behind my back?”
- Murray.