30+ George Burns Quotes From The Great American Entertainer

Srija Chanda
Dec 12, 2023 By Srija Chanda
Originally Published on Mar 17, 2021
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
George Burns in  Madame Tussauds
Age: 0-99
Read time: 5.7 Min

George Burns was a good cigar-puffing 100-year-old comedian and entertainer!

George Burns grew up to be the oldest amongst the American comedians and made the most out of his career. George Burns was strong in business for 93 years and was quite loved by the audience.

George Burns' quotes are quite bold and interesting for his audience. He tries to make fun of life and the struggles while making everyone realize the best way of living through those struggles is by having a good laugh. One George Burns quote goes "There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty. ' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up", and that's one of the most inspiring quotes from his lot. Another fun quote by George Burns is, "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city". One more George Burns funny quote goes like this, "Don't stay in bed unless you can make money in bed." For more, George Burns and Gracie Allen quotes, or George burns cigar quotes check the list below!

If you enjoy George Burns quotes, for more fun and happiness check Sophia Loren quotes and Jimmy Durante quotes.

Popular George Burns Quotes

George burns real photo

This is the list of most famous George Burns quotes that you'd love to share with all your friends.

1. "Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair."

- George Burns.

2. "I can't afford to die; I'd lose too much money."

- George Burns.

3. "I was brought up to respect my elders, so now I don't have to respect anybody."

- George Burns.

4. "I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate."

- George Burns.

5. "Define your business goals clearly so that others can see them as you do."

- George Burns.

Humorous Quotes By George Burns

George Burns believes everyone could benefit from a few bursts of laughter. Here's a great list of fun George Burns quotes for the readers.

6. "Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples."

- George Burns.

7. "Someone who makes you laugh is a comedian. Someone who makes you think and then laughs is a humorist."

- George Burns.

8. "The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending, then having the two as close together as possible."

- George Burns.

9. "Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city."

- George Burns.

10. "If I get big laughs, I'm a comedian. If I get little laughs, I'm a humorist. If I get no laughs, I'm a singer."

- George Burns.

George Burns Quotes Inspiring Life

George Burns inspiring quotes never fail to motivate, no matter how lost one feels. These George Burns quotes are the perfect inspiration for all George Burns fans.

11. "If you ask what is the single most important key to longevity, I would have to say it is avoiding worry, stress, and tension."

- George Burns.

12. "No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible."

- George Burns.

13. "When I'm in front of an audience, all that love and vitality sweeps over me and I forget my age."

- George Burns.

14. "Don't stay in bed unless you can make money in bed."

- George Burns.

15. "Acting is all about honesty. If you can fake that, you've got it made."

- George Burns.

16. "When you stop giving and offering something to the rest of the world, it's time to turn out the lights."

- George Burns.

17. "Everyday happiness means getting up in the morning, and you can't wait to finish your breakfast. You can't wait to do your exercises. You can't wait to put on your clothes. You can't wait to get out. And you can't wait to come home, because the soup is hot."

- George Burns.

18. "Fall in love with what you're going to do for a living."

- George Burns.

George Burns Quotes About People, Women, And Age

Here's a list of some insightful quotes by George Burns for happiness and motivation from his speeches and his books.

19. "If you live to be one hundred, you've got it made. Very few people die past that age."

- George Burns.

20. "You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."

- George Burns.

21. "I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life."

- George Burns.

22. "A young mind in a healthy body is a wonderful thing. Especially for an old man with an open night."

- George Burns.

23. "With the collapse of vaudeville new talent has no place to stink."

- George Burns.

24. "Love is a lot like a backache. It doesn't show up on x-rays, but you know it's there."

- George Burns.

25. "You can't help getting older, but you don't have to get old."

- George Burns.

26. "Happiness? A good cigar, a good meal, a good cigar and a good woman - or a bad woman"

- George Burns.

George Burns Book And Play Quotes

Loved George Burns quotes until now? Here are a few more popular quotes from George Burns' books and artistic works George Burns was a part of with other people.

27. "The Pope's entrance was stunning. Maybe the Catholics know about miracles, and maybe they know about saints, but they've never received enough credit for what they know about show business."

- George Burns, 'Gracie: A Love Story', 1988.

28. "The Man in Jail: Hey, bud! What are you in for?

George Burns: Stupidity."

- 'The George Burns And Gracie Allen Show', 1950.

29. "Say, Goodnight Gracie."

- 'The George Burns And Gracie Allen Show', 1950.

30. "I know some fools who have a lot of money, but they won't tell me how they got it, and I won't tell them."

- George Burns, 'Dr. Burns Prescription For Happiness', 1984.

31. "Gracie Allen: How long does it take for a birthday cake to fly to San Francisco?

George Burns: Well, that's a normal, everyday question, so I'll give you a normal, everyday answer. What are you talking about?"

- 'The George Burns And Gracie Allen Show', 1950.

32. "I don't want to be anything that I'm not. Now, I'm a singer, that's a talent I was born with... and that's the one I'm dying with. "

- George Burns, 'The George Burns And Gracie Allen Show', 1950.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotesfor everyone to enjoy! If you like George Burns and loved our suggestions for George Burns quotes then why not take a look at Cary Grant quotes, or Hollywood quotes that are as entertaining as George Burns.

Article image credit: Bart Sherkow/Shutterstock

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Written by Srija Chanda

Master of Arts specializing in Mass Communication/Media Studies

Srija Chanda picture

Srija ChandaMaster of Arts specializing in Mass Communication/Media Studies

An aspiring media professional, Srija is currently pursuing her Master's degree in Mass Communication at St. Xavier's University, Kolkata, after completing her degree in journalism. With experience in PR and social media, she has also honed her leadership skills through her participation in a youth parliament. Srija's interests include devouring books, watching movies, and exploring new places through travel.

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