35 Granny Weatherwax Quotes From The 'Discworld' Series

Let's have a look at the witch character of Granny Weatherwax and her iconic quotes, with our list of the best Granny Weatherwax quotes from 'Discworld'

We will get all nostalgic with these famous Granny Weatherwax quotes. So, let's go together to the small country which was protected by the witch Granny Weatherwax and witness the beauty of her words.

Granny Weatherwax is a fictional character from the 'Discworld' series, created by Terry Pratchett. She is a member of the Lancre Coven and is a witch. In the series, she has appeared in many books, including 'Wyrd Sisters', 'Witches Abroad', 'Lords And Ladies', 'Maskerade', 'Carpe Jugulum', and many more.

Terry Pratchett, raised in Buckinghamshire in England, became enamored with fantasy and science fiction at a young age and released his first story, 'The Hades Business' in a school magazine in 1961. Now, Terry Pratchett is now well known for his 'Discworld' series and his magical touch of words. Check out these Granny Weatherwax quotes for some of his best lines, and if you want more great quotes, check out these 'Up' quotes and Lemony Snicket quotes too.

Some people think magic doesn't exist. Let us be inspired by some of the magical and inspirational quotes by Granny Weatherwax in this section.  

1. "She hadn't ever needed to. Granny Weatherwax was like the prow of a ship. Seas parted when she turned up."

- Terry Pratchett, 'The Shepherd's Crown'.

2. "On the Disc the gods dealt severely with atheists."

- Terry Pratchett, 'The Color Of Magic'.

3. “... if you want to see Esmerelda Weatherwax, then just you look around. She is here. Us witches don't mourn for very long. We are satisfied with happy memories - they're there to be cherished.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'The Shepherd's Crown'.

4. "'No,' said Granny Weatherwax, still looking thoughtful. 'No, there's a billion places like home. But only one of 'em's where you live.'”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

5. “'Blessings be on this house,' said Granny, perfunctorily. It was always a good opening remark for a witch. It concentrated people's minds on what other things might be on this house.”

-  Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

6. “Nanny Ogg knew how to start spelling 'banana', but didn't know how you stopped.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

7. “You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise, it's just a cage. Besides you don't build a better world by choppin' heads off and giving decent girls away to frogs.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

8. “'It's daft, locking us up,' said Nanny. 'I'd have had us killed.'"

- Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

9. “People whose wishes get granted often don't turn out to be very nice people.”  

- Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

10. “The good are innocent and create justice. The bad are guilty, which is why they invent mercy.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

Granny Weatherwax loved her people. She entertained them with her words and helped them with her magical powers. Here, let's have some fun looking at some of the funny quotes by Granny Weatherwax.

11. “And sin, young man, is when you treat people like things.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Carpe Jugulum'.

12. “Don't do anything I wouldn't do, if you ever find anything I wouldn't do.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Carpe Jugulum'.

13. “In the beginning, there was nothing, which exploded.”

-  Terry Pratchett, 'Lords And Ladies'.

14. “Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.”

-  Terry Pratchett, 'Lords And Ladies'.

15. “I thought unicorns were more... Fluffy.”

-  Terry Pratchett, 'Lords And Ladies'.

16. “They'd smash up the world if they thought it would make a pretty noise.”

-  Terry Pratchett, 'Lords And Ladies'.

17. “Don't try the paranormal until you know what's normal.”

-  Terry Pratchett, 'Lords And Ladies'.

18.  "People who didn’t need people needed people around to know that they were the kind of people who didn’t need people."

- Terry Pratchett, 'Masquerade'.

19.  "You needed at least three witches for a coven. Two witches was just an argument."  

- Terry Pratchett, 'Masquerade'.

20.  "Certainly. I’d know me anywhere."

- Terry Pratchett, 'Masquerade'.

Granny Weatherwax was an extraordinary character who was firmly in control of her own destiny and removed common prejudices around witches. Come, let us go through some of the Terry Pratchett quotes about Granny Weatherwax and explore even more about her greatness.

21. “Magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances... crop up nine times out of ten.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Mort'.

22. “They say a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but it's not one half so bad as a lot of ignorance.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Equal Rites'.

23. “You can't go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise, it's just a cage.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

24. “She told me that if magic gives people what they want, then not using magic can give them what they need.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Equal Rites'.

25. “Open your eyes and then open your eyes again.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'The Wee Free Men'.

26. “It's like chess, you know. The Queen saves the King.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'The Shepherd's Crown'.

27. “Cake is not the issue here.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'The Last Continent'.

28. “'Don't wish,' Miss Tick had said. 'Do things.'”

- Terry Pratchett, 'The Wee Free Men'.

29. "She knew a cutting, incisive, withering and above all a self-evident answer existed. It was just that, to her extreme annoyance, she couldn't quite bring it to mind."

- Terry Pratchett, 'Equal Rites'.

30. "Esme Weatherwax hadn't done nice. She'd done what was needed."

- Terry Pratchett, 'The Shepherd's Crown'.

31. "Granny Weatherwax was not a good loser. From her point of view, losing was something that happened to other people."

- Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

32. "Oats: Mistress Weatherwax, you are a natural disputant.

Granny Weatherwax: No, I ain't!"

-   Terry Pratchett, 'Carpe Jugulum'.

33. "Only Granny Weatherwax really knew Granny Weatherwax."

- Terry Pratchett, 'The Shepherd's Crown'.

34. "Granny Weatherwax was firmly against fiction. Life was hard enough without lies floating around and changing the way people thought.”

- Terry Pratchett, 'Maskerade'.

35. "Ella turned to the fireplace where a blackened kettle hung over what Granny Weatherwax always called an optimist's fire: two logs and hope."

- Terry Pratchett, 'Witches Abroad'.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy!  If you liked our suggestions for Granny Weatherwax quotes, then why not take a look at these 'Warrior Cat' quotes or 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' quotes for more?