50 Lord Farquaad Quotes

Joan Agie
Sep 29, 2023 By Joan Agie
Originally Published on Jul 26, 2022
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Age: 3-18
Read time: 5.1 Min

Lord Farquaad is a character in the movie 'Shrek'.

This is a movie about love and inspiration. The movie is filled with magical beings like ogres and other fairytale characters.

Lord Farquaad is a 'Shrek' character who expelled the fairytale animals from his kingdom and drove them all to seek sanctuary in Shrek's swamp. Lord Farquaad then tormented the Gingerbread Man, forcing him to tell the whereabouts of fairytale folk he had not yet banished.

After this, he finds out from the magic mirror that he must marry a princess to become a King.

Although he has to marry Princess Fiona, she is in love with Shrek. So the movie is situated in a not-so-perfect kingdom and revolves around the plot of conspiracy and love.

This story can teach children to respect everyone and treat everyone as equals. Everyone is special whatever their outlook may be. We must look for the good inside them.

These Lord Farquaad quotes can educate you to be humble. The Lord Farquaad quotes below might bring a spark of joy when you're bored with the same old routine.

All you need is a little dose of motivation to bring a smile to your face. You should also strive to break out from the monotony of life and chuckle a bit. All these Lord Farquaad quotes are going to accomplish exactly that.

Famous Lord Farquaad Quotes

Here is a list of specially-selected Lord Farquaad quotes for you to enjoy. These are quite typical to the character and can help you understand his personality.

"This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me King!"

"The winner of this tournament - no, no, the privilege - will have the honour of rescuing the beautiful Princess Fiona from the fiery pit of that dragon! Should the winner fail to return, the runner-up shall take his place, and so on and so forth..."

"Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make."

"Who cares? It's preposterous! Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away from our happily ever after. Now kiss me!"

"Gingerbread Man: Well, she's married to the Muffin Man...

Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?

Gingerbread Man: THE MUFFIN MAN!

Lord Farquaad:She's married to the Muffin Man..."

"The ogre has fallen in love with the princess! Oh, good, Lord."

"Princess Fiona... she's perfect!"

"Princess Fiona: Oh, now you wanna talk? Well, it's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me...

Shrek: But you can't marry him.

Princess Fiona: And why not?

Shrek: Because... because he's just marrying you so he can be King.

Lord Farquaad: Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him."

"Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre will be named champion! Have at him!

"Lord Farquaad: I've tried to be fair to you creatures, but now my patience has reached its end! Tell me, or I'll...

[reaches down] 

Gingerbread Man: NO! Not the buttons! Not my gumdrop buttons!

Lord Farquaad: All right, then! Who's hiding them?

Gingerbread Man: Okay, I'll tell you... Do you know... the Muffin Man?"

Hilarious Lord Farquaad Quotes

(Take a break and enjoy these Lord Farquaad quotes.)

Listed below are a few quotes by Lord Farquaad that will make you laugh. You can share these with your friends and have a great time.

"Lord Farquaad: What's that? It's hideous!

Shrek: Well, that's not very nice.

[gestures to Donkey]

Shrek: It's just a donkey."

"Lord Farquaad: The Muffin Man?

Gingerbread Man: The Muffin Man.

Lord Farquaad: Yes, I know the Muffin Man. W-who lives on Drury Lane?"

"Now really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but showing up uninvited to a wedding?"

"Lord Farquaad : [playing with Gingy's legs] Run, run, run as fast as you can / You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!

Gingerbread Man: You're a monster!

Lord Farquaad : [tossing legs away]  I'm not the monster here, YOU are! You and the rest of that fairytale trash, poisoning my perfect world. Now tell me, where are the others?

Gingerbread Man: Eat me!"

Best Lord Farquaad Quotes

The Lord Farquaad quotes below are sure to make you want to watch 'Shrek 1' all over again!

"Captain of Guards: Shall I give the order, my Lord?

Lord Farquaad: No. I have a better idea..."

"Magic Mirror : [telling Lord Farquaad about his bachelorettes]  So, just sit back and relax, my Lord, because I'm about to give you today's three eligible bachelorettes.

Magic Mirror: Our first bachelorette is a mentally abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away. She likes sushi and hot-tubbing any time. Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning for her two evil sisters. Let's hear it for Cinderella!

Magic Mirror: Bachelorette number two is a cape-wearing girl from the Land of Fantasy. Although she lives with seven other men, she's not easy. Just kiss her frozen, dead lips and find out what a live wire she is. Give it up for Snow White!

Magic Mirror: And last but not least is a fiery redhead who lives in a dragon-guarded castle surrounded by a boiling lake of lava! But don't let that cool you off. She's a loaded pistol who likes piña coladas and getting caught in the rain. Yours for the rescuing: Princess Fiona!

So, who will it be? Bachelorette #1? Bachelorette #2? Or Bachelorette #3?

Lord Farquaad : Uhhh, Number 3!

Magic Mirror: Lord Farquaad, you have chosen... Princess Fiona."

More Lord Farquaad Quotes

Here are a few more interesting quotes from the movie 'Shrek' that Lord Farquaad has been a part of. The quotes will give you an insight into his character.

"Lord Farquaad: Mirror, mirror, on the wall / Is this not the most perfect kingdom of them all?

Magic Mirror: Well, technically, you're not a king.

Lord Farquaad : Ah, Thelonius?

Lord Farquaad: You were saying?

Magic Mirror:Er, I mean you're not a king YET! But you can become one! All you have to do is marry a princess...

Lord Farquaad : Go on..."

" I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have...

[gets eaten by Dragon] ".

“That’s enough! He’s ready to talk.”

"Princess Fiona: I wanted to show you before...

[turns into an ogre] 

Shrek : Well... er... THAT explains a lot.

Lord Farquaad : [revolted]  It's disgusting!"

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Sources

https://www.viralhub24.com/best-lord-farquaad-quotes/

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0126029/characters/nm0001475

https://kidadl.com/quotes/best-shrek-quotes-that-are-still-hilarious-now

https://movie-sounds.org/lord-farquaad

https://comicbookandbeyond.com/lord-farquaad-quotes/

https://netflix-wiki-thomasbooks.fandom.com/wiki/Lord_Farquaad/Quote

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Written by Joan Agie

Bachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

Joan Agie picture

Joan AgieBachelor of Science specializing in Human Anatomy

With 3+ years of research and content writing experience across several niches, especially on education, technology, and business topics. Joan holds a Bachelor’s degree in Human Anatomy from the Federal University of Technology, Akure, Nigeria, and has worked as a researcher and writer for organizations across Nigeria, the US, the UK, and Germany. Joan enjoys meditation, watching movies, and learning new languages in her free time.

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