101 Tina Fey Quotes That Are Both Hilarious And Wise

Moumita Dutta
Dec 12, 2023 By Moumita Dutta
Originally Published on Jan 25, 2021
Edited by Monisha Kochhar
Tina Fey's Mean Girls musical on Broadway
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Age: 0-99
Read time: 13.8 Min

Tina Fey has a charismatic personality.

She is an actor, comedian, writer, producer, and playwright. She is famous for the show '30 rock' and the hit 'Saturday Night Live'.

She has excelled in all fields of entertainment and also gained a following as an inspirational figure through great turmoil. Look at some of the wise and witty words she has to say down below.

If you love this article on Tina Fey quotes then you should also look up our other articles on funny TV quotes and Emma Watson quotes.

Tina Fey Quotes That Are By And For The Wise

mic on Standup Comedy

1. "Don’t waste your energy trying to educate or change opinions; go over, under, through, and opinions will change organically when you’re the boss."

-Tina Fey.

2. "Some people say, 'Never let them see you cry.' I say, if you’re so mad you could just cry, then cry. It terrifies everyone."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

3. "It is an impressively arrogant move to conclude that just because you don’t like something, it is empirically not good. I don’t like Chinese food, but I don’t write articles trying to prove it doesn’t exist."

-Tina Fey.

4. "If you retain nothing else, always remember the most important rule of beauty, which is: who cares?"

-Tina Fey.

5. "Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. Don’t just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles."

-Tina Fey.

6. "When faced with sexism, or ageism, or lookism, or even really aggressive Buddhism, ask yourself the following question: 'Is this person in between me and what I want to do?' If the answer is no, ignore it and move on. Your energy is better used doing your work and outpacing people that way."

-Tina Fey.

7. "I think women dress for other women to let them know what their deal is."

-Tina Fey.

8. "I would not trade any of these features for anybody else’s."

-Tina Fey.

9. "If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, they have this thing called the Internet, and you can find a lot of people there who don’t like you."

-Tina Fey.

10. "Obviously, as an adult I realize this girl-on-girl sabotage is the third worst kind of female behavior, right behind saying 'like' all the time and leaving your baby in a dumpster."

-Tina Fey.

11. "Luxury cruises were designed to make something unbearable—a two-week transatlantic crossing—seem bearable. There’s no need to do it now. There are planes."

-Tina Fey.

12. "Confidence is 10 per cent hard work and 90 per cent delusion."

-Tina Fey.

13. "That night’s show was watched by ten million people, so I guess that director at The Second City who said the audience 'didn’t want to see a sketch with two women' can go poop in his hat."

-Tina Fey.

14. "The difference between male comedy writers and female comedy writers is that the male ones are taller and weigh more."

-Tina Fey.

Tina Fey Quotes That Are Just Too Funny For Words

These funny Tina Fey quotes will crack you up!

15. "I never dreamed I would receive the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor, mostly because my style is so typically Austrian."

-Tina Fey.

16. "Ladies gotta say no to their husbands at the movies. They gotta say: No, we are watching back-to-back cancer movies. And then this movie about a cat."

-Tina Fey.

17. "In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I'm sorry, did I say 'scientists'? I meant 'Irish people'."

-Tina Fey.

18. "I like to crack the jokes now and again, but it's only because I struggle with math."

-Tina Fey.

19. "Researches reported that they developed a "self-healing" plastic that repairs itself if cracked. The plastic will change the way airplanes are built and medicine is practiced. In a related story, Joan Rivers will never die."

-Tina Fey.

20. "Ah, babies! They’re more than just adorable little creatures on whom you can blame your farts."

-Tina Fey.

21. "President Bush gave a rousing speech to the United Nations General Assembly. Afterward, in a touching show of support, every foreign dignitary shook hands with the president and smiled warmly as he mispronounced their names."

-Tina Fey.

22. "Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am all about money. I mean, just look how well my line of zodiac-inspired toe rings and homeopathic children’s medications are selling on Home Shopping Network."

-Tina Fey.

23. "I had to get back to work. NBC has me under contract. The baby and I only have a verbal agreement."

-Tina Fey.

24. "Twitter seems like a busman’s holiday: just more writing. I have no plans to do it. I’ll just stick with my 24/7 webcam. I’m old-fashioned that way."

-Tina Fey.

25. "Amy Poehler and I have been friends for so long, we’re like Oprah and Gale. Only we’re not denying anything."

-Tina Fey.

Tina Fey 'Bossypants' Quotes

'Bossypants' is an autobiographical book written by Tina Fey. Published in 2011, it was an extremely popular book. As you would expect, the book is also exceptionally funny. Here's a list of some selected quotes.

26. "It will never be perfect but perfect is overrated. Perfect is boring."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

27. "Say yes and you'll figure it out later."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

28. "If you are a woman and you bought this book for practical tips on how to make it in a male-dominated workplace, here they are. No pigtails, no tube tops. Cry sparingly."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

29. This is one of the weird things about motherhood. You can predict that some of your best moments will happen around the toilet at six am while you're holding a pile of fingernail clipping like a Santeria priestess."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

30. "I prefer the retro chic of spending Christmas just like Mary and Joseph did- traveling arduously back to the place of your birth to be counted, with no guarantee of a bed when you get there."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

31. "Whatever the problem, be a part of the solution. Don't just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles. "

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

32. "To say I am an overrated troll when you have never seen me guard a bridge, is patently unfair."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

33. "Tracy: Stop eating people's old french fries, little pigeon. Have some self-respect. Don't you know you can fly?"

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

34. "In most cases being a good boss means hiring talented people and then getting out of their way."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

35. "May she play the drums to the fiery rhythm of her own heart"

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

36. "You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

37. "'Defective' was a big word in our house. Many things were labeled 'defective' only to miraculously turn functional once the directions had been read more thoroughly."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

38. "I was a little excited but mostly BLORFT. 'BLORFT' is an adjective that I just made up that means completely overwhelmed but proceeding as if everything is fine and reacting to the stress with the torpor of a possum."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

39. "Don't waste your energy on trying to change opinions."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

40. "I am unstoppable because I don't know how to stop."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

41. "[Confidence is] Just thinking foolishly that you will be able to do what you want to do."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

42. "You can't be that kid standing at the top of the water slide. Overthinking it. You have to go down the chute."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

43. "I am constantly amazed by Tina Fey. And I am Tina Fey."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

44. "Contrary to what I believed as a little girl, being the boss almost never involves marching around, waving your arms, and chanting, 'I am the boss! I am the boss!'"

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

45. "A little tiny person with nothing to worry about running in circles, worried out of her mind."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

46. "Someone should do a study of the human brain and how quickly it can adjust to luxury."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

47. "All Beyoncé and JLo have done is add to the laundry list of attributes women must have to qualify as beautiful."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

48. "The sketch should lead the cutting pattern, which is to say content should dictate style, which is to say that in TV the writer is king."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

49. "Harvard is Classical Military Theory, Improv is Vietnam."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

50. "That feeling of 'I’m pretty sure this next step is wrong, but I’m just gonna do it anyway' is part of the same set of instincts that makes me such a great cook."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

51. "How could they possibly know if I’m a good mother? How can any of us know until the kid is about thirty-three and all the personality dust has really settled?"

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

52. "In my youth, I washed daily with Ivory soap and Prell shampoo. Everyone knew Prell was the best shampoo because you could also use it to clean a frying pan."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

53."What’s that you say? None of them want that? You are correct. So I spent four years attempting to charm the uninterested."

-Tina Fey, 'Bossypants', 2011.

Tina Fey And Amy Poehler Quotes

Here's a list of great quotes from the celebrated Golden Globe hosting duo.

54. "Tina: Ricky Gervais could not be here tonight, because he is no longer technically in show business.

Amy: ...We have no intention of being edgy or offensive tonight because as Ricky learned the hard way, when you run afoul of the Hollywood Foreign Press, they make you host this show two more times."

-Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, hosting the Golden Globes, 2013.

55. "Amy: Steve Carell is here tonight for Foxcatcher. In Foxcatcher, Steve Carell plays a paranoid, murderous billionaire. The award was a stretch for Carell, who in real life is a paranoid, murderous millionaire.

Tina: Steve Carell’s Foxcatcher look took two hours to put on, including his hairstyling and makeup. Just for comparison, it took me three hours today to prepare for my role as Human Woman."

-Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, hosting the Golden Globes, 2015.

56. "Amy: Good evening, I’m Amy Poehler.

Tina: And I’m Tina Fey, and welcome to the 71st annual Tina Fey and Amy Poehler’s Lee Daniels The Butler Golden Globe Awards. Thank you."

-Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, hosting the Golden Globes, 2014.

57. "Amy: So who’s here tonight? So many great stars.

Tina: Oprah is here. She has put a cranberry candle under all of your seats."

-Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, hosting the Golden Globes, 2015.

58. "Tina: Amy Poehler is nominated for her work on Parks and Recreation.

Amy: I believe Amy is here tonight – can we get a shot of her? [Jennifer Lawrence in camera frame] It is hard to believe she is a 42-year-old mother of two!"

-Tina Fey and Amy Poehler, hosting the Golden Globes, 2014.

Tina Fey Quotes On Emotions And All Other Things

Here's a list of quotes from Tina Fey on the nitty-gritty of life.

59. "Do your thing and don't care if they like it."

-Tina Fey.

60. "My ability to turn good news into anxiety is rivaled only by my ability to turn anxiety into chin acne."

-Tina Fey.

61. "THERE ARE NO MISTAKES, only opportunities."

-Tina Fey.

62. "Never tell a crazy person he’s crazy."

-Tina Fey.

63. "And I can see Russia from my house."

-Tina Fey.

64. "[...] nothing is creepier than a bunch of adults being very quiet."

-Tina Fey.

65. "There is no one of-woman-born who does not like Red Lobster cheddar biscuits. Anyone who claims otherwise is a liar and a Socialist."

-Tina Fey.

66. "It’s a burden, being able to control situations with my hyper-vigilance, but it’s my lot in life."

-Tina Fey.

67. "This requires a level of delusion/egomania usually reserved for popes and drag queens."

-Tina Fey.

68. "Sometimes if you have a difficult decision to make, just stall until the answer presents itself."

-Tina Fey.

69. "I had to face the fact that I had been using my gay friends as props."

-Tina Fey.

70. "[...] things most people do naturally are often inexplicably difficult for me."

-Tina Fey.

71. "When hiring, mix Harvard Nerds with Chicago Improvisers and stir."

-Tina Fey.

72. "Am I just chasing it because it's the hardest thing for me to get and I want to prove I can do it?"

-Tina Fey.

73. "It's like being a little kid again, parading around in a nightgown tucked into your underpants, believing it looks terrific."

-Tina Fey.

74. "I want to go to there."

-Tina Fey.

75. "When actors are too good-looking, I can’t memorize them. For example, I have never seen a picture of Sienna Miller where I didn’t say, 'That girl’s pretty. Who is that?'"

-Tina Fey.

76. "Sometimes you want to have a very productive Saturday to feel that you are in control of your life, which of course you are not."

-Tina Fey.

77. "Maybe we women gravitate toward comedy because it is a socially acceptable way to break rules and a release from our daily life"

-Tina Fey.

78. "It’s no more dangerous to society than a radio broadcast of The War of the Worlds."

-Tina Fey.

79. "[...] I can't possibly take time off for a second baby, unless I do, in which case that is nobody's business and I'll never regret it for a moment unless it ruins my life."

-Tina Fey.

80. "A combustion engine of ambition and disappointment."

-Tina Fey.

81. "I feel about Photoshop the way some people feel about abortion. It is appalling and a tragic reflection on the moral decay of our society… unless I need it, in which case, everybody be cool."

-Tina Fey.

82. "I had my hair in a ponytail and looked my trademark exhausted."

-Tina Fey.

83. "The topic of working moms is a tap-dance recital in a minefield."

-Tina Fey.

84. "I went back outside and manually released my butt cheeks."

-Tina Fey.

85. "The Rule of Agreement reminds you to 'respect what your partner has created' and to at least start from an open-minded place. Start with a YES and see where that takes you."

-Tina Fey.

86. "Seriously, I've just realized that almost everyone is a fraud, so I try not to feel too bad about it."

-Tina Fey.

87. "The same ten minutes that magazines urge me to use for sit-ups and triceps dips, I used for sobbing."

-Tina Fey.

88. "You have to try your hardest to be at the top of your game and improve every joke you can until the last possible second, and then you have to let it go."

-Tina Fey.

89. "[...] the music seems creepy, like when children sing in a horror movie."

-Tina Fey.

90. "In my limited experience, shows are like children. You can teach them manners and dress them in little sailor suits, but in the end, they're going to be who they're going to be."

-Tina Fey.

91. "Your initiations are worthwhile."

-Tina Fey.

92. "When I first set out to ruin SNL, I didn't think anyone would notice, but I persevered because like you trying to a do a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle, it was a labor of love."

-Tina Fey.

93. "The eyes are the window to where the soul is supposed to be."

-Tina Fey.

94. "In an attempt to make things easier for myself, which is the basis for all of history's worst decisions."

-Tina Fey.

95. "Either way, everything will be fine."

-Tina Fey.

96. "Why can't we accept the human form as it is? Screams no one. I don't know why, but we never have. That's why people wore corsets and neck stretchers and powdered wigs."

-Tina Fey.

97. "These are dark times. Back in my Wildwood days with Janet, you were either blessed with a beautiful body or not. And if you were not, you could just chill out and learn a trade."

-Tina Fey.

98. "[...] when you are in charge. Don't hire the people who were jerky to you."

-Tina Fey.

99. "Donna was an enigma wrapped in bacon wrapped in a crescent roll."

-Tina Fey.

100. "Thomas Jefferson - another gorgeous white boy who would not have been interested in me."

-Tina Fey.

101. "How can I give her what Don Fey gave me? The gift of anxiety. The fear of getting in trouble. The knowledge that while you are loved, you are not above the law."

-Tina Fey.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotesfor everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Tina Fey quotes then why not take a look at [Comedian quotes], or Bridesmaids quotes?

Main Image Editorial credit: EQRoy / Shutterstock.com

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Written by Moumita Dutta

Bachelor of Arts specializing in Journalism and Mass Communication, Postgraduate Diploma in Sports Management

Moumita Dutta picture

Moumita DuttaBachelor of Arts specializing in Journalism and Mass Communication, Postgraduate Diploma in Sports Management

A content writer and editor with a passion for sports, Moumita has honed her skills in producing compelling match reports and stories about sporting heroes. She holds a degree in Journalism and Mass Communication from the Indian Institute of Social Welfare and Business Management, Calcutta University, alongside a postgraduate diploma in Sports Management.

Read full bio >