Cave Johnson is a fictional character from the Portal Puzzle game series.
He was first introduced in 2011 on the Portal 2 series. His voiceover was done by J.K. Simons.
Johnson's voice serves as a guide to the player as they explore the abandoned part of Aperture Science through the pre-recorded messages. He is said to be a billionaire, CEO of Aperture Science company, which was originally known as Aperture fixtures.
He died as a result of moon rock poisoning and left his secretary as the successor Caroline to his company.
In this article, we will take a look at some of the best quotes about science, Portal 2, and others. Here we will take a look at Cave Johnson quotes about Science, Portal 2 recordings, and views on life.
Did you know while Cave Johnson was shown to have somehow transferred himself into a core in lego dimensions, the events that took place in the game are considered non-canon to the Portal series? Here are some quotes on science from the well known Cave Johnson.
1."Science isn't about WHY It's about WHY NOT!... In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you in the butt on the way out because you're fired."
-Cave Johnson
2."Now maybe you don't have tumors. Well, don't worry. If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren't wearing lead underpants. We took care of that too."
-Cave Johnson
3."Just a heads up: that coffee you had earlier had fluorescent calcium in it so we can track the neuronal activity in your brain. There's a slight chance the calcium could harden and verify the frontal lobe... Visualizing the scenario while under stress actually triggers the reaction."
-Cave Johnson
4. "All these science spheres are made of asbestos all the way. Keeps out the rats. Let us know if you feel a shortness of breath, a persistent dry cough, or your heart-stopping.
Because that is not part of the test. That's asbestos...Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of Canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries. I punch those numbers into a calculator, it makes a happy face. "
-Cave Johnson
5."The lab boys just informed me that I should not have mentioned the control group. They're telling me I ought to make these prerecorded messages..."
-Cave Johnson
Portal 2 Cave Johnson Quotes
Let's take a look at Johnson's quotes from Portal 2.
6. "Those of you who volunteered to be injected with praying mantis DNA, I've got some good news and bad news. Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely.
Good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of mantis men. Pick up a rifle and follow the yellow line. You'll know when the test starts."
-Cave Johnson
7. "All right, I've been thinking when life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade! Make life take the lemons back! Get mad! I don't want your damn lemons! What am I supposed to do with these?
Demand to see life's manager. Make life rue the day it thought it could give Cave Johnson lemons! Do you know who I am? I'm the man who's gonna burn your house down- with those lemons! I'm gonna get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns down your house."
-Cave Johnson, 'Portal 2'
8."I've been notified that one of our test subjects may have angered the sentient cloud by beginning testing early. Now, as you all know, the cloud has banned all camera technology -hates getting its picture taken..."
-Cave Johnson
More Cave Johnson Quotes
Cave Johnson wished for Caroline to talk over and his actions led to the creation of GLaDOS which may have led to the franchise being the bigger bad. Although, it's possible he never intended for GLaDOS to turn evil. Here are some quotes from Johnson.
9."I'm Michigan Slim Cave Johnson. I'm The hobo King."
-Cave Johnson
10."Hey, it's Cave. Someone's not daaaanciiiing. Come on. You know the law- testing is not a dance exemption. Don't make me call the dance police."
-Cave Johnson
11."Greetings, friends. I'm Cave Johnson, CEO of aperture science - you might know us as a vital participant in the 1968 Senate hearings on missing Astronauts. And you've most likely used one of the products we invited but that other people have somehow managed to steal from us..."
-Cave Johnson
12. "The point is, If we can store music on a compact disc, why can't we store a man's intelligence and personality on one? So I have the Engineers to invent that out right now.
Brain mapping artificial intelligence- we should have been working on it thirty years ago. And I will say this, and I'm gonna say it on tape so everybody will hear it a hundred times a day. If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place."
-Cave Johnson
Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotesfor everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Cave Johnson quotes then why not take a look at Portal quotes, or [Portal 2 quotes].
We Want Your Photos!
Do you have a photo you are happy to share that would improve this article?
Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Masters of English Literature
Merlyn MathewsBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Masters of English Literature
As a multilingual content writer, Merlyn's command over multiple languages and her strong academic background in English enhance her writing capabilities. She holds a Bachelor's degree in English from Christ University and a Master's degree in English from the University of Leeds.Her professional journey includes internships at The Lagoon School and The Guardian Newspaper, both in Nigeria, enriching her experience and lending depth to her understanding of diverse work environments. Additionally, her volunteer work with Oxfam and Handout Foundation reflects her dedication to social causes.
1) Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. If you purchase using the Buy Now button we may earn a small commission. This does not influence our choices. Prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published but we cannot guarantee that on the time of reading. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content.
2) At Kidadl, we strive to recommend the very best activities and events. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.
3) Because we are an educational resource, we have quotes and facts about a range of historical and modern figures. We do not endorse the actions of or rhetoric of all the people included in these collections, but we think they are important for growing minds to learn about under the guidance of parents or guardians.