80+ Best Portal Quotes From The Well-Known Video Game

Portal is a world-renowned puzzle-type video game that was released in 2007.

Developed by Valve, this game can be played on a wide range of platforms like Xbox 360, Android, Play Station 3, and Windows. The game features an active user interaction with the AI, GLaDOS as they embark on an adventure to solve numerous puzzles.

The game begins with the user receiving warnings from the AI about a number of forthcoming tests. Over the course of the game, it is revealed that GLaDOS wanted to kill the player. So if you are fond of puzzles, be sure to check these awesome quotes which can make you want to play the game.

For more interesting content, check out Metal Gear Solid quotes and Max Payne quotes.

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Best Quotes Of Portal

Enlisted below are the finest quotes from the Portal game series.

1. "Please be advised that a noticeable taste of blood is not part of any test protocol but is an unintended side effect of the Aperture Science Material Emancipation Grid, which may, in semi-rare cases, emancipate dental fillings, crowns, tooth enamel, and teeth."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

2. "The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

3. "Once again, the Enrichment Center offers its most sincere apologies on the occasion of this unsolvable test environment."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

4. "Please note that we have added a consequence for failure."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

5. "The Enrichment Center promises to always provide a safe testing environment. In dangerous testing environments, the Enrichment Center promises to always provide useful advice. For instance: the floor here will kill you. Try to avoid it."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

6. "Well done, android. The Enrichment Center once again reminds you that android hell is a real place where you will be sent at the first sign of defiance."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

Famous Portal Quotes

Here are some of the most famous quotes from Portal. Read these funny Portal quotes, the coolest Portal game quotes, Portal cake quotes, Portal companion cube quotes, and Portal 1 GLaDOS quotes.

7. "Warning devices are required on all mobile equipment."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

8. "Oh well. If you want my advice, you should just lie down in front of a rocket. Trust me, it'll be a lot less painful than the neurotoxin."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

9. "Science isn't about why, it's about why not"

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

10. "Maybe you think you're helping yourself. But you're not. This isn't helping anyone."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

11. "No further compliance information is required or will be provided, and you are an excellent test subject!"

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

12. "Maybe your prejudiced work site should have accommodated a nanobot of my size!"

- Wheatley, 'Portal'.

13. "The birth parents you are trying to reach do not love you, please hang up."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

14. "I'm no psychiatrist, but coming from a bunch of eggheads who never did anything more brave than boil some manganese - whatever the hell that accomplishes - that sounds like what they'd call 'projection'."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

15. "I have your brain scanned and permanently backed up in case something terrible happens to you, which it's just about to."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

16. "The Enrichment Center reminds you that the Weighted Companion Cube will never threaten to  stab you and, in fact, cannot speak."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

17. "Congratulations. The test is now over. All Aperture technologies remain safely operational up to 4000 degrees Kelvin."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

18. "You're not smart. You're not a scientist. You're not a doctor. You're not even a full-time employee. Where did your life go so wrong?"

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

19. "As part of an optional test protocol, we are pleased to present an amusing fact: The device is now more valuable than the organs and combined incomes of everyone in [subject hometown here]."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

20. "The symptoms most commonly produced by Enrichment Center testing are superstition, perceiving inanimate objects as alive, and hallucinations."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

21. "I'm going to get my engineers to invent a combustible lemon that burns your house down."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

22. "As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

23. "Rest assured that there is absolutely no chance of a dangerous equipment malfunction prior to your victory candescence."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

GLaDOS Quotes

Here you will find the finest GLaDOS quotes, Portal 2 GLaDOS quotes, and all GLaDOS quotes from Portal 1.

24. "While it has been a faithful companion, your Companion Cube cannot accompany you through the rest of the test.

If it could talk - and the Enrichment Center takes this opportunity to remind you that it cannot - it would tell you to go on without it because it would rather die in a fire than become a burden to you."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

25. "Unless you have a plan for building some supercomputer parts in a big hurry, this place isn't going to be safe much longer."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

26. "I'll use lasers to inscribe a line down the center of the facility, and one half will be where you live and I'll live in the other half."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

27. "We are pleased that you made it through the final challenge where we pretended we were going to murder you."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

28. "Although the euthanizing process is remarkably painful, eight out of ten Aperture Science engineers believe that the Companion Cube is most likely incapable of feeling much pain."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

29. "Well done! Be advised that the next test requires exposure to uninsulated electrical parts that may be dangerous under certain conditions."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

30. "That has got to be the dumbest thing that-whoah. Whoah, whoah, whoah."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

31. "Starting now, there's going to be a lot less conversation and a lot more killing."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

32. "Momentum, a function of mass and velocity, is conserved between portals."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

33. "As part of a previously mentioned required test protocol, we can no longer lie to you."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

34. "It says so right here in your personnel file: Unlikable. Liked by no one. A bitter, unlikable loner who's passing shall not be mourned."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

35. "Time out for a second. That wasn't supposed to happen."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

36. "Uh oh. Somebody cut the cake. I told them to wait for you, but they did it anyway. There is still some left, though, if you hurry back."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

37. "Look at you soaring through the air majestically…like an eagle. Piloting a blimp."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

38. "Perfect. Please move quickly to the chamber lock, as the effects of prolonged exposure to the Button are not part of this test."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

39. "Do you think I am trying to trick you with reverse psychology? I mean, seriously now."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

40. "That thing you're attacking isn't important to me. It's the fluid catalytic cracking unit. It makes shoes for orphans."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

41. "Here's a hint: you're gonna want to pack as much living as you can into the next couple of minutes."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

42. "I invited your best friend the companion cube. Of course, he couldn't come because you murdered him."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

43. "What are you doing? Stop it! I... I..."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

44. "I let you survive this long because I was curious about your behavior. Well, you've managed to destroy that part of me."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

45. "Remember when the platform was sliding into the fire pit and I said 'Goodbye' and you were like 'no way' and then I was all 'We pretended to murder you? That was great!"

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

Portal 2 Quotes

Here the very best Portal 2 quotes along with Portal 2 Wheatley quotes, Portal 2 funny quotes, Portal turret quotes, Portal 2 Cave Johnson quotes, Portal 2 Space core quotes, Portal 2 Announcer quotes, and Portal science quotes.

46. "I don't even know why they bother giving me this stuff if they didn't want me to use it; it's pointless! Mad!"

- Wheatley, 'Portal'.

47. "Pick up a set of foreleg spurs, mesothorax armor and tubercle sheets. You'll know when the test starts."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

48. "You know, shooing that bird out the facility just taught me a valuable l--oh my god, she's gestating a clone army!"

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

49. "It's come to my attention that over half of our test subjects have only recently awoken from extended relaxation and were unaware that we're testing in space. So there it is: No conspiracy. No twist."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

50. "… it's not out of the question that you might have a very minor case of serious brain damage."

- Wheatley, 'Portal'.

51. "Those of you who volunteered to be injected with homo-sapien DNA, I've got some good news and some bad news."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

52. "Hey, just in case this pit isn't actually bottomless, do you think maybe you could unstrap one of those long-fall boots of yours and shove me into it?"

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

53. "That's what it was; and I'm still here, actually, waiting to be picked up..."

- Wheatley, 'Portal'.

54. "Wait. I suppose tellin' you I'm not in my right mind could sway you to not unplugging me."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

55. "Please note 'Points' refer to science collaboration points, rather than points from competitions such as who gets to live at the end and who doesn't. I mean, basketball."

- GLaDOS, 'Portal'.

56. "Alright, I spy with my little eye, something beginning with F. Don't get it?"

- Wheatley, 'Portal'.

Different Character Quotes

Here are quotes from the many different character quotes from Portal. These include Cave Johnson lines and Wheatley quotes.

57. "Where are we going? Are you coming back? What's that noise? Is that a gun? Do you smell something burning? Ooooohh... what's in here?"

- Curiosity Sphere, 'Portal'.

58. "Oh, remember when you picked me up five seconds ago? That was amazing, do that again."

- Wheatley, 'Portal'.

59. "If you need to go to the bathroom in this next series of tests, please let test associates know. Because in all likelihood, whatever comes out of you is going to be coal."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

60. "There are test subjects in Africa who don't even have monitors in their test chambers, all right?"

- Wheatley, 'Portal'.

61. "Bad news is we're postponing those tests indefinitely. The good news is we've got a much better test for you: fighting an army of man-mantises."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

62. "But don't be alarmed! Although, if you do feel alarmed, try to hold on to that feeling!"

- Wheatley, 'Portal'.

63. "So anyway, we're between banks right now, just make those checks out to cash. Cave Johnson, we're done here."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

64. "Turret: I did everything you asssssskkkkeeedddd!

Defective Turret: Heheheheh...

Turret: Wheeeeohnooooo!

Defective Turret: I'm, uh, I'm a bad man.

Defective Turret: Hey, be a sport, lady, and just tell 'em I killed you."

- 'Portal'.

65. "We haven't entirely nailed down what element it is yet, but I'll tell you this, it's a lively one, and it does not like the human skeleton."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

66. "Where I am, waiting to be picked up. OK, next round, I spy with my little eye something beginning with A! ...Also the floor."

- Wheatley, 'Portal'.

67. "Let's all give a big hand to the test subjects of Sphere Eighteen for bravely uncovering the company-wide conspiracy, which is that there's no air in space."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

68. "Let me round back on the important parts: in a computer. Ceaseless torture. Monster in the eyes of God. So why don't you get on over here and unplug ol' Cave."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

69. "Once again: We're in space. It's not a secret. I am sincerely regretting my decision not to install windows in this thing."

- Cave Johnson, 'Portal'.

Quotes About Portal

Here are some of the finest quotes about Portal, which were written in the leading gaming journals of the world.

70. "Portal 2 makes the original look like the prototype it was. It's filled with a larger cast of characters vividly brought to life through brilliant writing and some of the best voice acting in video games."

- IGN.

71. "An additional, hours-long section of the game, complete with its own slew of memorable jokes, requires two people to play through cooperatively."

- The Atlantic.

72. "The attention to detail throughout is nothing short of stunning. The facility is in a state of disrepair at the beginning."

- IGN.

73. "The weighted companion blocks can be used to take out turrets by placing a portal over the turret's head and another under a block."

- IGN.

74. "No matter how complicated the puzzles get, the solutions are always sensible. Sometimes you'll 'get it' right away and adjust lasers with lens blocks to activate platforms to reach switches."

- IGN.

75. "While the main game is short, Portal doesn't only finish with one of the best credits songs ever created. After the story is done, new challenge levels are unlocked."

- IGN.

76. "Worse, enjoying this mode is kinda tough. You're expected to play through five to six hours of puzzles with a single friend, but with twice the brains, Valve has made this section twice as difficult."

- The Atlantic.

77. "Portal uses a concept that's a bit hard to wrap your head around without actually seeing it in action."

- IGN.

78. "There's also something uniquely and strangely satisfying about the thoomp of the portal gun."

- IGN.

79. "The core appeal of something like Portal will never be the visuals, but it's still impressive how much mileage Valve is getting out of its Source technology first used for Half-Life 2 in 2004."

- IGN.

80. "Getting through can be frustrating, especially if you're playing with someone you don't know, because there's no diffusion of responsibility here. You can't hide in a corner and wait for someone else to do all the work."

- IGN.

81. "The main problem with the game is that it's so short. While what's there can certainly be satisfying, we shot through the first 15 levels of the game in about 30 minutes, with the last four taking up a bit over an hour."

-IGN.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for Portal quotes then why not take a look at [Mario quotes], or video game quotes.