60 Best Fran Lebowitz Quotes From the New York Author

Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Dec 12, 2023 By Rajnandini Roychoudhury
Originally Published on Feb 24, 2021
Edited by Luca Demetriou
Author Fran Lebowitz

Fran Lebowitz is an American author and a public speaker.

Lebowitz is strictly opposed to technology and to this day has no cell phone, computer, or typewriter. She has been a resident of Manhattan, New York since 1970.

Fran is a renowned humorist and essayist. 'Metropolitan Life', her collection of essays, was critically acclaimed when it was published in 1978.

It brought great success to Fran as she was compared to Dorothy Parker. Her wit and intelligence paved the way for her into the inner circle of celebrities in New York City where she started her career as a film critic. She also has appeared in television shows 'Law and Order' as a semi-recurring character.

And has had a cameo in the hit movie 'The Wolf Of Wall Street'. You could check out Fran Lebowitz quotes on trump, too.

For more related content take a look at Dorothy Parker quotes and Susan Sontag quotes.

Famous Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Here are some of the most well-known Fran Lebowitz quotes about success and life.

1. “The second I learned to read in first grade, when I was 5, I preferred it to life. And I still do.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

2. “Albert Einstein wasn’t getting lost in the master bedroom, he was lost in thought.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

3. “I’ve done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you play or not.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

4. “Reading is better than life. Without reading, you’re stuck with life.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

5. “If people don’t hold grudges, it means they just don’t care what others do.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

6. “Humility is no substitute for a good personality.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

7. “You can’t go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you can hope for is that they will pretend that they do.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

8. “Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

9. “Racism is just a fantasy of superiority. There literally is no difference between people of different races, zero difference.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Who’s Afraid Of Fran Lebowitz? | All About Women’, Mar 16, 2018.

10. “Human nature is not that great. That’s why they call it human nature and not human heart.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Who’s Afraid Of Fran Lebowitz? | All About Women’, Mar 16, 2018.

11. “Tolerance is really a better thing than understanding. Because it doesn’t agitate against human nature.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Interview with Francesco Clemente’, Interview Magazine.

12. “Life is so absurd now that it is almost impossible to be a satirist in this era.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

13. “Abandon the search for truth; settle for a good fantasy.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

14. “I think humor is warmer, and wit is colder. Wit is judgment, whereas humor invites some sort of response.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘In Conversation with Phong Bui’.

15. “Now the culture is made of old things, it’s a collage. Art made out of art is not art. You're supposed to make art out of life.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Interview with Paper Magazine’.

16. “You see, advice and lovelorn don’t go together. Because advice makes love sound like some sort of cognitive activity, but we know that it isn’t.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Index Magazine interview with David Savage’.

Funny Fran Lebowitz Quotes

Great quotes from the New York based author Fran Lebowitz that are witty and funny.

17. “I never met anyone who didn’t have a very smart child. What happens to these children, you wonder, when they reach adulthood?”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Interview with Bob Morris’.

18. “If you don’t have children and you don’t have a job, you have time for friendship...People who have jobs are not the best friends to have. It’s better to be friends with people who are unemployed.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

19. “All God’s children are not beautiful. Most of God’s children are, in fact, barely presentable.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

20. “Any child who cannot do long division by himself does not deserve to smoke.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Digital Clocks and Pocket Calculators: Spoilers of Youth’.

21. “I went to a Muhammad Ali fight at the Garden... It was a very wonderful fashion and cultural event. Unfortunately, there was a fight in the middle of it.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Pretend It's a City’.

22. “Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

23. “I believe in talking behind peoples’ backs. That way, they hear it more than once.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

24. “The best fame is a writer’s fame. It's enough to get a table at a good restaurant, but not enough to get you interrupted when you eat.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

25. “Success didn’t spoil me, I’ve always been insufferable.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

26. “When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the world is. Clean is not enough.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

27. “Anyone who uses the phrase ‘easy as taking a candy from a baby’ has never tried taking a candy from a baby.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

28. “Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about wine.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

29. “Never name-drop at the dinner table. The only thing worse than a fly in one’s soup is a celebrity.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

30. “You can be nasty when you are young, but you really have to be older to achieve bitterness.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

31. “The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

Quotes By Fran Lebowitz On Writing

Quotes on writing and being an author by Fran Lebowitz.

32. “If you feel the urge to write, just lie down and read a book: it will pass.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

33. “When I’m supposed to be writing I clean my apartment, take my clothes to the laundry, get organized, make lists, do the dishes. I would never do a dish unless I had to write.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

34. “I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Who's Afraid Of Fran Lebowitz? | All About Women’, Mar 16, 2018.

35. “When I started getting real work done, I realized how much easier it is to write then not to write.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

36. “People seem to think there is some connection between talking and writing, but I love to talk and if there were some connection between the two of them I would be the most prolific writer in the history of the world.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

37. “Instead of writing it wrong six times and then writing it right, I think it wrong six times and then write it right the seventh time.”

― Fran Lebowitz, ‘Interview with Fran Lebowitz’ by Thomas Beller.

38. “I’m not a nervous person. I’m not afraid to be on TV. I’m only afraid when I write. When I’m at my desk I feel like most people would feel if they went on TV.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

39. “Not writing is probably the most exhausting profession I’ve ever encountered.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

40. “All the time I’m not writing I feel like a criminal.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

'The Fran Lebowitz Reader' Quotes

https://unsplash.com/photos/DCzpr09cTXY

(Fran Lebowitz quotes are funny.)

Quotes from her book 'The Fran Lebowitz Reader' talk about human beings and the aspects of social studies.

41. “A dog who thinks he is man’s best friend is a dog who obviously has never met a tax lawyer.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

42. “Children are rarely in the position to lend one a truly interesting sum of money. There are, however, exceptions, and such children are an excellent addition to any party.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

43. “Do not elicit your child’s political opinions. He doesn’t know any more than you do.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

44. “No animal should ever jump up on the dining room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

45. “Scientists—that crowd that for wit and dash make the general public look alike the Bloomsbury Set.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

46. “The opposite of talking isn’t listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

47. “Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

48. “As a teenager, you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

49. “Think before you speak. Read before you think.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

50. “Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he’s buying.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

51. “Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat and fun to cheat.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

52. “Your child is watching too much television if there exists the possibility that he might melt down.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

53. “Never allow your child to call you by your first name. He hasn’t known you long enough.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

54. “Designer clothes worn by children are like snowsuits worn by adults. Few can carry it off successfully.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

55. “Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

56. “If you are only a bird in a gilded cage-count your blessings.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

57. “An interesting personality is, in an adult, insufferable. In a teenager, it is frequently punishable by law.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

58. “Perhaps the least cheering statement ever made on the subject of art is that life imitates it.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

59. “A hobby is, of course, an abomination, as are all consuming interests and passions that do not lead directly to large, personal gain.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

60. “First of all, nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.”

― Fran Lebowitz.

Here at Kidadl, we have carefully created lots of interesting family-friendly quotes for everyone to enjoy! If you liked our suggestions for [article] then why not take a look at [Emily Dickenson quotes] or Betty Friedan quotes.

‍Main image credit: Miro Vrlik Photography / Shutterstock.com

We Want Your Photos!
We Want Your Photos!

We Want Your Photos!

Do you have a photo you are happy to share that would improve this article?
Email your photos

More for You

See All

Written by Rajnandini Roychoudhury

Bachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

Rajnandini Roychoudhury picture

Rajnandini RoychoudhuryBachelor of Arts specializing in English, Master of Arts specializing in English

With a Master of Arts in English, Rajnandini has pursued her passion for the arts and has become an experienced content writer. She has worked with companies such as Writer's Zone and has had her writing skills recognized by publications such as The Telegraph. Rajnandini is also trilingual and enjoys various hobbies such as music, movies, travel, philanthropy, writing her blog, and reading classic British literature. 

Read full bio >