'Kingpin' is a 1996 American comedy movie scripted by Mort Nathan and Barry Fanaro.
It captures the narrative of an ex-professional bowling champion who is hired as a coach for a potential bowler. It features Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, and Bill Murray.
There are many well-known quotes from 'Kingpin' that show the tenacity of a sportsman and the qualities emulated in a person invested in sports. Let's read through a list of some of the best quotes from the 1996 American comedy film, 'Kingpin'.
Funny Kingpin Quotes
The following list includes some of the wittiest and funny quotes from the 1996 movie, 'Kingpin'. Read these interesting quotes here.
"McKnight Bowl Bartender: So, you two are dictionary salesmen?
Roy Munson: You would be punctilious in assuming that."
"Mr. Boorg: We don't have a cow. We have a bull.
Roy: I'll brush my teeth."
"You're on a gravy train with biscuit wheels!" -Ernie McCracken
"Your act is about as fresh as a Foghat concert." -Claudia
"Roy: Thomas can raise a barn, but can he pick up a 7-10 split?
Ishmael: God blessed my brother to be a good carpenter. It's okay.
Roy: Yeah, well he blessed you, too, and I'll give you a hint what it is."
"Lancaster Bowl Manager: Look, I've told you. We don't need nuthin'. We don't even have a novelty machine in the men's room anymore.
Roy: And you call yourselves a bowling alley?"
"I'll say. Probably a year for every topping on the table. I heard a horrible rumor...Oh, creepy! I'm sorry. You know, for the first couple years, I felt responsible. How you been otherwise?" -Ernie McCracken
"Ishmael: Okay, you want to bowl for some big money, eh? But I'll lose my entire bonus check because I'm so bombed.
McKnight Bowl Bartender: You get that way from ginger ale?
Roy: Nah, he was sniffing glue in the parking lot."
"Hey, I hope you don't mind, I got up a little early, so I took the liberty of milking your cow for you. Yeah, it took a little while to get her warmed up, she sure is a stubborn one. Then, POW, all at once." -Roy Munson
"Ishmael: Are you okay, Mr. Munson?
Roy: Shh! What did I just say?
Ishmael: Uh, 'I think I tore my sac'?"
"ESPN Announcer: So Roy, where have you been for the last fifteen years?
Roy: Well, I uh, well, ya see, I uh..."
"Ishmael: [after losing a game] Mr. Munson, you all right?
Roy: [calmly] Ish, uh, what happened in there?
Ishmael: Well, I don't know. Um, I thought I played pretty good. Uh, he's just a little better than me, that's all.
Roy: Pretty good, huh? 186."
"Roy: You know, in the last 17 years, a day hasn't gone by that I haven't thought about what I'd say to you if I ever ran into you again.
Ernie McCracken: I bet! [notices Claudia] Hello."
"Roy: Easy now, Brother Jacob. You know what the Bible says about not forgiving people.
Brother Jacob: Why don't you tell us all what it says?
Roy: Well.....It's against it."
"Jonathan, run a fly pattern all the way to the goal line. Tennessee! Kentucky! Find the meat! Uh, deeper, Jonathan." -Ernie McCracken
Famous Quotes From Kingpin
These famous and recognized quotes of the well-loved characters and actors from the film, 'Kingpin' are a must-read.
"Mr. Boorg: How many children do you have, Brother Hezekiah?
Roy: Uh, none that I know of. [Adopting a terrible Irish accent] What I mean to say is, I was, uh, wee, I'm unable to have children. Nasty cheese gratin' accident as a young man."
"Ishmael: Whatcha doin', Mr. Munson?
Roy: Flossin'.
Ishmael: Flossin? Where'd I get Munson from?
Roy: The name is Munson, what I'm doin' is flossin', this is called floss, cleans your teeth, you oughta try it sometime."
"Sometimes a bowler just has to face the music." -Ernie McCracken
"Keep 'em comin', sweets, I got a long drive. Do me a favor, will you? Would you mind washing off that perfume before you come back to our table?" -Ernie McCracken
"Roy: Hey, Herbie! How's life?
Scranton Wino: Taking forever."
"Pressure? Yeah there was some pressure, I mean I didn't wanna lose to a guy with a hook." -Ernie McCracken
"Ishmael: You leave Rebecca out of this, mister.
Roy: I'm talking about bowling. Your future."
"Ishmael: No way. Uh-huh. There's no way I can bet. It's against my religion. I was raised to not be a gambler. There's no way I'm going to bet.
Roy: Hey, hey, Ish. Ish. Ish.
Ishmael: No. No. No way."
"Claudia: Ishmael likes me.
Roy: I promise you, you're not his type.
Claudia: Oh, I'm his type. I'm every guy's type."
"Some of the dresses ya' got, ya' need two hairdos to wear." -Roy
"Roy: You two know each other?
Ernie McCracken: It's a small world..."
Quotes On Bowling From Kingpin
Here is a list of great and outstanding quotes by popular actors and characters about bowling from 'Kingpin'.
"Man in bowling alley: Come on, boy. Bowl.
Roy Munson: The name's not boy. It's Roy."
"Ernie McCracken: Believe me, as a bowler, I know that right about now, your bladder feels like an overstuffed vacuum cleaner bag...
Roy: Hey. Do you mind? I wasn't talking when you were bowling.
Ernie McCracken: Was I talking out loud? Was I? Sorry. Good luck."
"Claudia: Look, Mr. Munster, you're not exactly the smartest guy I ever ran across.
Roy: Oh yeah? And who are you, Alfred Einstein?"
"It all comes down to this roll. Roy Munson, a man-child, with a dream to topple bowling giant Ernie McCracken. If he strikes, he's the 1979 Odor-Eaters Champion. He's got one foot in the frying pan and one in the pressure cooker." -Ernie McCracken
"Bowling Priest: You see, bowling for money... that's my only vice.
Cocktail Waitress: Here's your drink.
Bowling Priest: Thanks sugar."
"Mr. “I wear my pants high and I pick up every spare...” -Ernie McCracken
"Ernie McCracken: Fine, my friend, my so-called friend. Take your silly little ball and make your silly little spare... Or miss it!"
"Roy: Give us a chance to win our money back.
Ernie McCracken: Are you crazy?
Ernie McCracken: Padre, how much are you into us for already?
Bowling Priest: Uh, three-hundred and fifty."
"Roy: Double or nothing I can pick up that spare. I think I can do it.
Ernie McCracken: It's a 6-7-10. You'll pick up that spare the same day my hair starts falling out. Come on, let's get outta here."
"Roy: Can you believe this? Me, on a professional bowling tour?
Calvert Munson: It's your calling, son. One day, when people say the name Munson, they're gonna think 'winner.' Just like DiMaggio is to baseball or, or Unitas is to football, that's what Munson will be to bowling."
Quotes Related To Coffee From Kingpin
Below is a list of quotes from the American comedy film, 'Kingpin', that are related to coffee and fun.
"Ishmael: You really should try to quit, Mr. Munson. They say it's bad for your heart, your lungs. It quickens the aging process.
Roy: Is that right?"
"Ishmael: I don't drink coffee.
Roy: Why not?
Ishmael: Because it's a stimulant."
"That coffee wasn't even hot. [takes a sip of coffee] Now, that's hot." -Roy
