24 Best Snail Jokes For Kids That Will Make You Snort With Laughter
Gallery
If you're headed off on holiday this summer and have a long journey with kids to fill, you're sure to need a few more ideas in your arsenal to keep everyone entertained other than just I Spy. Why not keep everyone laughing with some family-friendly jokes?
Whether you're travelling by train or plane, we have the perfect jokes for every journey.
If you're travelling by car, we really hope you don't get stuck in traffic and end up crawling but if you do, this collection of funny snail jokes will keep the whole family's spirits up.
From an escargot joke or two, to a slimy pun and the classic 'S car go' joke, these hilarious snail jokes are sure to prevent any cries of "are we nearly there yet?"
Question And Answer Snail Jokes
There's nothing better than trying to guess the punchline before it's revealed. Have a go with these brilliant question and answer snail jokes.
Why do French people eat snails? Because they don't like fast food!
What did the snail say when it was riding on the back of a turtle? Wheeeeeeee!
What happens when two snails have a big fight? They slug it out!
Why don't McDonald's sell snails? Because they're not fast food!
Why are snails the strongest animal in the world? Because they like to carry their whole houses on their backs!
How can you tell when your kitchen floor has got too dirty? The snails leave a trail over the floor that says "clean me"!
What was the snail doing on the motorway? About a mile a day!
What's the difference between a pile of slugs and school dinners? School dinners are served on a plate!
Why did the snail cross the road? I'm not sure, I'll let you know when he gets here!
What's another word for a snail? A big bogey wearing a helmet!
Snail Puns
Kids will want to tell these witty snail gags again and again.
What do you call a snail when he's sailing on a ship? A snailor!
How do snails manage to get their shells so bright and shiny? They use snail varnish!
How do snails keep in touch? By using their shell phones!
What happened when the snail lost his shell? He started to feel a little sluggish!
What did the snail say to his enemy? I'll get you next slime!
Where can you find giant snails? At the end of giants fingers!
Snail One Liners
Fire off the quickfire jokes with these snail one liners.
If a snail says he's not home, he's definitely lying!
Did you hear about the snail that finally found his confidence? He really came out of his shell!
I stepped on a snail this morning, and I feel so guilty. The poor thing, he looked genuinely crushed!
I made friends with a snail today, and brought him back home with me for dinner. He looked up at my house and said "Yikes! I wouldn't want to carry that on my back!"
Story Style Snail Jokes
These jokes are a little longer, so try to make it to the punchline faster than snail pace.
A turtle was walking down the street when two snails robbed him. When the policeman arrived, he asked the turtle what happened and he replied “I don’t know, it all happened so fast!”
A snail goes to a garage to buy a car. He sees a super fast sports car, and asks the garage if they could paint a big red “S” on both sides. When the salesman asked why, the snail replied “I want people to say, ‘Look at that S car go!’”
A man arrived at a Halloween party with a woman stuck to his back. A guest asks, "what are you dressed as?" and the man replies, “a snail!" Confused, the guest asks, "But who's that on your back?" and the man says, "That's Michelle!"
One day, a man answered a knock at the door and sees a snail sitting on his doorstep. Shocked, he picked up the snail and threw him into the garden. Two years later, the man answered another knock at the door and sees the snail there again. Furious, the snail says "hey, what did you do that for?!"
We Want Your Photos!
More for You
See All
Bachelor of Arts specializing in Film and English
Jo KingsleyBachelor of Arts specializing in Film and English
Jo is a versatile writer with a Bachelor's degree in Film and English from the University of Southhampton who is passionate about mental health and well-being, history, art, food and drink, and photography. As a work-from-home mom to two adventurous boys, she loves exploring local castles, museums, and galleries with them, and sharing her knowledge and interests through her blog.
Disclaimer
1) Kidadl is independent and to make our service free to you the reader we are supported by advertising. We hope you love our recommendations for products and services! What we suggest is selected independently by the Kidadl team. If you purchase using the Buy Now button we may earn a small commission. This does not influence our choices. Prices are correct and items are available at the time the article was published but we cannot guarantee that on the time of reading. Please note that Kidadl is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon. We also link to other websites, but are not responsible for their content.
2) At Kidadl, we strive to recommend the very best activities and events. We will always aim to give you accurate information at the date of publication - however, information does change, so it’s important you do your own research, double-check and make the decision that is right for your family. We recognise that not all activities and ideas are appropriate for all children and families or in all circumstances. Our recommended activities are based on age but these are a guide. We recommend that these ideas are used as inspiration, that ideas are undertaken with appropriate adult supervision, and that each adult uses their own discretion and knowledge of their children to consider the safety and suitability. Kidadl cannot accept liability for the execution of these ideas, and parental supervision is advised at all times, as safety is paramount. Anyone using the information provided by Kidadl does so at their own risk and we can not accept liability if things go wrong.
3) Because we are an educational resource, we have quotes and facts about a range of historical and modern figures. We do not endorse the actions of or rhetoric of all the people included in these collections, but we think they are important for growing minds to learn about under the guidance of parents or guardians.