56 Holiday Jokes That Will Make You Ho Ho Ho

Rachel Garner
Jan 24, 2024 By Rachel Garner
Originally Published on Jul 17, 2020
Friends jumping happily on a snowy mountain
Age: 0-99
Read time: 5.2 Min

Whether you're a holiday fanatic, or just looking to broaden your collection of jokes, you're in the right place.

There's nothing better than making your friends and family laugh, and what better way to spread joy during the holiday seasons than with a bunch of related jokes to get everybody in the spirit?  From Christmas to Easter to Halloween to New Year, check out the 56 jokes, puns, and one-liners that will have the whole room giggling - perfect for you and your kids!
 

Christmas Jokes

If it's a Christmas joke that you're after, the kids are bound to love the holiday-themed ones below. From classic to cheesy to downright funny, whether you're looking to entertain at a Christmas party or simply want to make your loved ones laugh - we've got your covered.

1) Where does Santa go when Christmas is over?To a ho-ho-ho-tel.

2) What's the weather report ever Christmas Eve? There's a 100 percent chance of reindeer.

3) Here's an interesting fact for you: the Christmas alphabet has Noel.

4) How does a sheep say Merry Christmas?Fleece Navidad!

5) In which year does Christmas come after New Year's Day? All of them!

6) Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Mary.

Mary who?

Mary Christmas!

7) What do you call a reindeer that has poor manners? You call him Rude-olph.

8) What comes at the end of Christmas?The letter "S"!

9) Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Interrupting Santa.

Inter–

Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!

10) Why can't you take a turkey to church on Christmas? Because they have fowl language!

11) Did you know, Christmas has me feeling extra Santa-mental?

12) What do snowmen have for Christmas Dinner? Ice Crispies!

13) Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Olive.

Olive who?

Olive the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names…

14) What do you say when you see a reindeer wearing earmuffs? Anything you want. He can't hear you!

15) Who wears a red suit and says; 'Oh, oh, oh.'? It's Santa Claus walking backwards!

Easter Jokes

 

Chocolate, bunnies, and eggs - the only thing that could make Easter any better are some hilarious jokes to go with it! While you've still got a while until next year's celebration, you've got plenty of time to learn the jokes down below.

16) What is the Easter Bunny's favourite kind of music? Hip-hop!

17) How does the Easter Bunny stay fit and healthy? He eggs-ercises.

18) What kind of bunny can't hop? A chocolate bunny.

19) Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Arthur.

Arthur who?

Arthur any more eggs to decorate?

20) What happens if you tell a joke to an egg? It cracks up.

21) I don't know about you, but personally I carrot wait for Easter!

22) What do you call a mischievous egg? A practical yolker.

23) How does Easter always end?With an "r."

24) One Easter Egg turned to the other and asked, "So, you hear any good yolks today?".

25) How does the Easter Bunny get fit? He does lots of hare-obics.

26) Do all bunnies like football? Of course. They're rabbit fans!

27) Why did the rabbit cross the road? Because it was the chicken's day off.

28) Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Dewey.

Dewey who?

Dewey have to listen to any more bunny jokes?

Halloween Jokes

 

Halloween is the time of ghosts, monsters, and vampires, but it doesn't have to be all scary. With that in mind, we've rounded up our top spooktacularly funny jokes for you to share that will have everyone laughing their socks off!

29) What monster plays tricks on Halloween? Prank-enstein!

30) What kind of music do mummies love?Wrap music.

31) Knock, Knock!

Whos there?

Boo.

Boo who?

Don't cry! I'm just a Halloween trick or treater!

32) What's a witch's favourite subject in school? Spelling.

33) What kind of monster likes to dance?The boogeyman.

34) What did the little girl say when she was told to choose between a tricycle and sweets?Trike or Treat!

35) I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very humerus.

36) What does a witch use when she's styling her hair? Lots of scarespray!

37) Knock, Knock!

Who's there?

Dishes!

Dishes who?

Dishes a very lousy Halloween joke!

38) What room does a ghost not need?A living room.

39) What's big, scary, and has three wheels?A monster riding a tricycle!

40) What do birds say on Halloween? Trick or tweet.

41) Why are ghosts such bad liars? You can see right through them.

42) Why don't vampires ever have a lot of friends?Because they're such a pain in the neck to have around.

43) Why couldn't Dracula play baseball? Because he lost his bat!

New Year Jokes

Woman dancing in the park in winter

Bringing in New Year's Day is a huge celebration all over the world, and is definitely one full of joy and laughter. Why not add to the special day with these funny jokes, puns, and one-liners. You'll be the life of the party!

44) What's a cow's favourite holiday? Moo Year's Eve!

45) Why should you put your new calendar in the freezer?To start off the new year in a cool way.

46) I'll remember 2020 like it was yesterday.

47) What should you say to your friends after New Year's Eve? I haven't seen you since last year.

48) Knock, Knock!

Who's there?

Abby.

Abby who?

Abby New Year's!

49) What do ghosts say on the 1st of January?Happy Boo Year, everyone.

50) What happened to the woman who stole a calendar on New Year's Eve? She got 12 months!

51) I was going to quit all my bad habits for New Year's, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

52) Knock, knock!

Who's there?

Razor.

Razor who?

Razor glass and let's celebrate!

53) If you want to do some maths on New Year's Eve, where do you go?To Times Square.

54) This New Year's I resolve to be a little less remarkable since that's the only thing I ever do in excess.

55) Why do birds always fly south on New Year's Eve? It's simply too long to walk.

56) What did the cat say to its friends on New Year's?What do you think it said? Meow, of course!

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Written by Rachel Garner

Bachelor of Arts specializing in Journalism

Rachel Garner picture

Rachel GarnerBachelor of Arts specializing in Journalism

Growing up in Switzerland, Rachel developed a love for exploring new places and trying new foods. She has a Bachelor's degree in Journalism from the University of the Arts London. She currently resides in Northwest London and enjoys discovering trendy spots around the city. Rachel is also passionate about planning fun activities for her family, particularly her little cousins. When she has some downtime, she can be found indulging in hobbies such as attending concerts, baking, or visiting her family in Essex. Her love for travel takes her beyond the UK, where she meticulously plans and researches each adventure before setting off to explore new places across Europe and beyond.

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